Daftest things you have ever heard anyone say.

cptrayes

cptrayes

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What's the daftest horse thing you ever heard anyone say?

My two favourites are:

1.
Q. Why do you have a flash noseband tying your horses mouth shut?
A. To make him more comfortable.

Errrrr - I think you mean so that he can't express his discomfort by opening his mouth? How can it make him MORE comfortable to put a strap round his chin???


2.
After several hours of hunting on a horse with no shoes on, while pounding along a track made up of broken bricks:

Why don't you have shoes on your horse?


Anyone got any better ones???
 
Years ago at a Hunter Trail - ' Oh another person who doesn't know how to fix a flash preperly' My friends response - 'Its not a flash - its a Mexican Grackle'!
 
whilst opening a pot of stockholm tar a lovely livery put my in fits of giggle by say go that smells of...........erm...........tar!!!!! classic.
 
Probably when my friend went

"oh he's a lovely horse! He doesn't look very green though!"

Horse was a chestnut, and I meant green as in not very experienced!
She's not lived it down!
 
"I dont approve of dentists using power rasps because it wears the teeth away,and they wont have any when they get older"
grin.gif
 
I once asked a friend how big their horse was and the reply was "I'm not sure, she's either 15.3 or 15.4hh!"
confused.gif
 
When my OH was Stud Groom at a large stud in Newmarket, middle of the foaling season and one of the office staff came out to see the latest new arrival, asked us, " Are they born with those on?" Meaning the foal slip the baby was wearing.
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Young child watching my horse being brought in from a muddy field - "look - his paws are muddy!"

Work colleague asked what I was doing at the weekend. Said I was clipping my horse. A week later - "has his coat grown back yet?"
tongue.gif
 
'It must be hard work grooming your horse every day - who does the grooming when you're at work?' (From countless office colleagues, + folk in pubs, from late 70s onwards)
 
"There's no need to pull ragwort because horses don't eat it"

Spoken, rather worryingly, by an old YO of mine whose liveries all believe her...
crazy.gif
 
[ QUOTE ]
When my OH was Stud Groom at a large stud in Newmarket, middle of the foaling season and one of the office staff came out to see the latest new arrival, asked us, " Are they born with those on?" Meaning the foal slip the baby was wearing.
crazy.gif
wink.gif


[/ QUOTE ]

Are you kidding
shocked.gif
crazy.gif
crazy.gif
 
My OH - whilst 'window shopping' at horses online:
Me - 'Honey, what do you think of this one?' points to a fit eventer
OH - 'eww, you dont want that, it looks like it has mange, half of its hair has fallen out'
Me - 'Thats a clip'
 
Both courtesy of my cousin...

talking about my mini Shet, all 8hh of her.... "Do you ride it?"
confused.gif
grin.gif


and talking about the vet..."How do you get your horses inside the vets surgery?"
confused.gif
grin.gif
 
"You're grey gelding must be very old, he's pure white" About China, my then 3 year old cremello!

"Oh my God, you've clipped China" My dad about my new and fully clipped cremello mare Minty (which admittedly, I hadn't told him I'd bought
wink.gif
). We'd just walked through a field which had China in it to get to the stables! (got away with it for about a week before he realised there were two
grin.gif
)
 
[ QUOTE ]
Daftest things you have ever heard anyone say

[/ QUOTE ]

My trainer, telling me that she would definitely email me by mid-week.

She is so hopelessly disorganised, if she wasn't such a good trainer I would tell her to poke it and find someone else. As it is, I just have to put up with her hopeless inefficiency at organising her diary. Grrrr.
 
Oooohhh I just remembered another one
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Many years ago I used to ride a old 12.2hh pony, he was about 27 I think, he was in a field with about 7 or 8 bigger horses, all like 15hh plus, the field had a public footpath along side it and one day I was getting the pony and some random people asked me if he was a baby and how old would he be when he grew to be as big as the others
grin.gif
 
When i was about 12, hacking out on my admittedly quite woolly little grey shetland, an old lady asked me why I was riding a sheep!
 
To my friend as we watched a race in a bookies:
"Your horse is the grey one!
Reply: "I thought it said purple with green sleeves?!"
Same person also wrote (Horse name) - '£5 on the nose' on a docket because we told her to 'put £5 on the nose'
tongue.gif


Yummy mummy who had just bought daughter an unbroken arab mare: "Oh we won't be putting her out in the field, she will stay in the stable, don't want her to get blood fever."

One of my 'favourite' members on here, who allegedly owned her own horse and wanted to start a livery yard: 'Wot is strangles?'
 
little girl visiting one of the horses at my yard - 'can I pat his nozzle? Think she meant muzzle!
That one was cute, these are more stupid -
child standing behind pony she has owned for 3 days 'its ok he doesn't kick'
child when asked why pony is being kept in 24/7 ' he's grey, I don't want him to get dirty'.
know all child riding in school ' its ok not to wear a hat I'm only doing flatwork.'
 
[ QUOTE ]
When my OH was Stud Groom at a large stud in Newmarket, middle of the foaling season and one of the office staff came out to see the latest new arrival, asked us, " Are they born with those on?" Meaning the foal slip the baby was wearing.
crazy.gif
wink.gif


[/ QUOTE ]


Well they're all good, but this one takes the biscuit!


All the talk of clipping reminded me of another, by a work colleague "why do you clip them in winter when it's cold and not in summer when it's nice and warm?"
 
when my OH first saw my new horse, all smartly clipped out- he said "oh, he's a bit manky isn't he? has he got mange as his fur is all shaven and short"!!!
 

A diy livery on our yard describing her very lame horse as ok - just a bit "lumpy" to ride!

Above persons mum describing my beautiful horses almost perfect (well I am biast) halfpass as..........

That horse who does plaiting!!!!!!!!!!
 
A know all lady at my yard refer to a snaffle bit as a Snuffle and another lady say that the horse her daughter was riding in the competition was too good for the class so she was going to enter " Haute Couture " instead of saying Hors Concors!
 
my gay best friend asking me when my 24 year old welsh sec a was going to grow bigger like the other horses?

he seriously thought ponies = baby horses!
 
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