Daughter & pony dilemma

What do I do?

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Mare Stare

Mare Stare

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Some of you may remember my thread about my daughter. She has a 11hh section A, she's now too big for him and I'd dearly wanted to get her something that she can ride. However, she loves Beau too much and wouldn't let me get rid of him.

However, fate has decided that we needed to cut down on our horses. The council have decided to build on the field we were renting and will not renew our tenancy. I've tried to find grazing but haven't had any luck. I have enough grazing for 2 horses so in the end I came to the decision to sell both of the boys who are just field ornaments - Beau because he's too short and Dooney because he is too young.

My friend snapped up Dooney because she's always liked him and I managed to convince her to take on Beau as a companion because he's cheap and easy to keep. So we know where both are going and my friend is not the type to sell them on. She's coming to pick them up tomorrow.

However, my daughter is distraught. I can hear her crying in her bed. I feel bloody awful. My daughter is a quiet, introverted type - she doesn't have many human friends - I think she feels like she is losing her only friend.

What do I do? I can't hang onto them all. The only alternative I can think of is to sell Saffy instead but Saffy is 3, nearly 14hh and will make an ideal family pony which is why I want to hang onto her. I know she will earn her keep whereas Beau never will.

What would you do? I have 5 weeks grazing left so time is short. :(
 
Good greif, I would not like to be in your place :(

No advice, except to say, can she still see her pony? And time is a healer.

Hope she feels better soon, it happened one to me, and I never ever sold another one on :(

But children are strong, just keep her busy and lots if cuddles and kisses :) ( hugs)
 
IMO dont do it, poor kid, it sounds like she thinks of him like a dog rather than a pony.

Does he really make that much difference to your grazing, he's only little, you might have to feed a bit more hay.

Some kids would soon get over it and look forward to a new pony, I'm not sure your daughter will.
 
mulledwhine said:
Good greif, I would not like to be in your place :(

No advice, except to say, can she still see her pony? And time is a healer.

Hope she feels better soon, it happened one to me, and I never ever sold another one on :(

But children are strong, just keep her busy and lots if cuddles and kisses :) ( hugs)
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Yes she can still see the pony but he will be about 15 miles away so she won't be able to see him regularly. :(
 
Does your friend live near to you? if so could your daughter still have some contact maybe you loan him rather than sell him initially and there can be a transition period.
In the meantime can you start work on the young one and get her involved she could feel that she becomes hers if she is allowed to make some choices, even just picking out a new headcollar in her favourite colour for her may help her think of her as her new pony.
 
If seeing Beau everyday is that important to your daughter's happiness, then you should keep him. Could you break him to drive so that he earns his keep (so to speak)?
 
Faracat said:
If seeing Beau everyday is that important to your daughter's happiness, then you should keep him. Could you break him to drive so that he earns his keep (so to speak)?
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It is feasible that he could be broken to drive but I don't have any experience in driving whatsoever. He's also a grumpy bugger and has issues with bridles and bits and can be very spooky and silly. (It's not a pain issue - it's a personality issue. The vet and dentist couldn't find any problems with him). I'm not sure he'd ever be sensible enough to drive.
 
It's a really difficult situation. Could you loan him to your friend rather than sell him? Is he good enough (behaviour wise) for your daughter to show in-hand?
 
I have no experience in showing either :D . I've only ever been a happy hacker. He's pretty enough to show (well, I think he's pretty!). As long as he doesn't have to wear a bridle he will behave. Am I right in thinking it's only stallions that need bits?

*Off to google about showing.*
 
A white halter is the norm for showing Weshies (bridle for stallions as you said). :)

ETA. I've not had a rideable horse for the last year and it really hasn't ruined my enjoyment of my horses (although I do wish that the one on field rest would get better). So riding isn't the be all and end all for some people and maybe your daughter is one of those.

Talk to her, everyone who doesn't know her is only guessing what is the right thing for you to do based on their own feelings and experiances.
 
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Does she want to ride? If she's happy not riding, could she not keep Beau as a pet? If she does want to ride, maybe explain to her that she can have Beau or another pony that she can ride (possibly Saffy) but not both and the reasons why.
 
Your daughter will recover. I learned at an early age the true meaning of loss.when my beloved Ebony died at ponyclub camp from colic. The pony is alive and well and your daughter will get over it. Try to soften the blow ,visits may be a good idea (maybe not)It is an awfull situation to be in. When I lost my pony ,oh so many years ago, an inspector from the met police mounted branch (helping at pc camp)gave me some advice that has stood me well.Horses break your heart,but you have to understand this.
 
Faracat said:
A white halter is the norm for showing Weshies (bridle for stallions as you said). :)
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Oooh! That might be a possibility!

Would you know where I could find out about local shows? This is completely new territory for me.

ETA - my husband is going to shoot me if Beau doesn't go tomorrow. But meh.

kiritiger said:
Does she want to ride? If she's happy not riding, could she not keep Beau as a pet? If she does want to ride, maybe explain to her that she can have Beau or another pony that she can ride (possibly Saffy) but not both and the reasons why.
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She's happy not riding. But I kinda wanted to get her into Pony Club and get her mixing with other kids that she had things in common with. Her only interest in life is horses and, in particular, Beau.
 
The pony is alive and well and your daughter will get over it.
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In many ways I agree with this. However, a girl I used to be at school with had a 12.2 pony that she loved. She outgrew him and her parents sold him and bought her a bigger pony. She never rode again or forgave them (as they sold the 12.2 behind her back) and they ended up having to sell the bigger pony.
 
Mike007 said:
Your daughter will recover. I learned at an early age the true meaning of loss.when my beloved Ebony died at ponyclub camp from colic. The pony is alive and well and your daughter will get over it. Try to soften the blow ,visits may be a good idea (maybe not)It is an awfull situation to be in. When I lost my pony ,oh so many years ago, an inspector from the met police mounted branch (helping at pc camp)gave me some advice that has stood me well.Horses break your heart,but you have to understand this.
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See, at the same time, I completely agree with this. My hubby thinks it would be good for her, teach her about life and force her to grow up. It's just that I feel AWFUL.

dafthoss said:
Could your friend not take saffy to hers as a companion untill you can find some more grazing so you can keep the little one?
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Again, another possibility.
 
And another thought how little is beau and how big is your daughter? I only ask as is she to big to ride him from a looks point of view or is she actually to heavy for him?

I am 20 now and I still ride a little section A for people and I have pictures I can send you of the little fella if you want to see how big I am on him.
 
becky.jpg
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Here's an example of a Welsh sec A at a show. :)
 
Faracat said:
Welsh cob and pony society http://wpcs.uk.com/ Is there a group in your area? http://wpcs.uk.com/society/area_associations/

I was looking at the Shrewsbury horse show class list earlier today and they have young handler in-hand classes. I'm sure that alot of shows around you will have Welsh A classes too.
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Thankyou! Yes! There is a group and they are just up the road from us!! And they've got a show in April with a young handlers' class!!!! :D:D:D
 
scrunchie said:
See, at the same time, I completely agree with this. My hubby thinks it would be good for her, teach her about life and force her to grow up. It's just that I feel AWFUL.



Again, another possibility.
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never been one for growing up myself:D ,and its a bit late at my age:Dbut you cannot have a life/career with horses without facing the hell of loosing them. It hurts so bad whether you are 6 or 60 .
 
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