Daughter's lost her confidence...how do I tackle it?

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Patches

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Do I push her to get back on or do I back off?

She's upstairs crying as she doesn't want to ride Oliver after he bolted twice last week. I've been lungeing him daily since then and he's very settled. The plan was to lunge for a good 20 mins before she rides and she was only going to go for a short hack around the block on a lead rein. Oliver loves to hack and she's never needed to be on a lead rein before with him. I just thought it would be a nice stress free ride for them both as he's been fine when walking. Lanes are very quiet on a Sunday and we will have hold of him for her.

She is adamant that she doesn't want to ride. If she won't try, how do I help her work through this?
frown.gif
 
Don't push her. Let her go and groom him and spend some time cuddling etc then ask her what she would like to do next with him riding-wise. When I lost my confidence, in my own time I rebuilt it and I pushed away people who tried to push me.
xx
 
Do you have access to another horse she could ride. One that you trust and she trusts to help her gain confidence in herself a bit. Then ask he if she wants to ride Oliver in the school/paddock for a bit.Then maybe out on the lanes etc, slowly build her up.
 
I agree with LadyTia, the more people pushed me the more I wanted to tell them to sod off. Let her spend time with him, mess about with him and possibly if she sees others ride somewhere like pony club and she can watch it might give her the determination to ride again.

Although I do think a quiet hack out would do her the world of good this morning, you just need to persuade her it is her idea ((Good Luck vibes)) x
 
how old is she? will she fall for "he's really lonely and wants someone to ride him when i walk him down the lane" ?
why did he bolt? i'd try to get to the bottom of that too, tbh... the last thing you want is it happening again.
good luck!
 
I personally wouldn't push her to ride, but I would try and get somone on Oliver before she does so she can see he won't bolt again, that should give her some confidence
 
This is a really difficult moment. I echo everyone else, dont push her no matter what it wont help.

Often another quieter pony will do the trick, especially if you know of one that she trusts. Lots of time on the lead rein and knowing that you have control over the pony will help too, but it must be her decision to get back on.

I hope you get through this but it may take a lot of time and patience. Good luck
 
Don't make her ride. If she is tense, he will be as well. Perhaps let her ride another pony, or hack out with someone riding her pony so she can see he is OK.
When you say he bolted twice, do you really mean bolted, or just went faster than she wanted to go. If he really bolted twice last week, I sure wouldn't want to ride him!
 
depends how old she is, i had someone bolt on me last november and trash my car and ruin my legs so the next time i rode another horse, i was terrified, i had a drink and it worked!! NOT CONDONING DRINK RIDING btw........
 
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Don't make her ride. If she is tense, he will be as well. Perhaps let her ride another pony, or hack out with someone riding her pony so she can see he is OK.
When you say he bolted twice, do you really mean bolted, or just went faster than she wanted to go. If he really bolted twice last week, I sure wouldn't want to ride him!

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I posted about it on here last week. With our holiday and Hannah having to spend time with her dad on our return, Oliver had 11 days off work. As we've never had any issues of him appearing fresh I didn't think anything of just tacking him up and popping her on him (naive I'm sure). There were alot of flies about too and Oliver had also recently had a bad experience with Hannah's old riding instructor which I don't really want to go into detail about on an open forum, but would discuss via pm if you're interested.

As Hannah changed the loop of rein over his neck (she's always messing with her reins) Oliver took off in a straight line, flat out towards the hedge. He was squat low down to the ground and clearly in a panic. He came to an abrupt stop, Hannah then fell off and he just stood there shaking. Hannah's not ridden him since.
 
When Hannah was crying I was very sympathetic and told her I knew and understood that she was scared. I said I would be too. I told her I didn't expect her to get on him FR and that he would be on a lead rope until she's ready to come off the lead (or the lunge in the field). I also said that if she's not prepared to try, with all the support she needs put into place first, that I can't see how we can help her to work through her fears.

I left it at that and said I was going to lunge him and offered her to come and watch him being lunged.

I was over the field and she came out in her riding wear and carrying her body protector. After lungeing she asked if she could "go on that hack". She did and he was impeccably behaved.
 
Put a tear in my eye too.

When we got back, I rather flippantly said to her "Do you love him again now?" Her reply was, "I never stopped loving him anyway"

Choked me!
grin.gif
 
stop it woman or i will have to get a kleenex! (I sat and sobbed through Lassie on Friday!)

A gald they have made up, it can be a terifying experiance when you have no control
frown.gif

I was going to suggest she had a go on Patches the wonder horse to get her confidence back..........
 
Ditto,

I was just reading the above bit and started to choke, then read your bit and well.............. that was it!

Got even worse when I read Hannah's comment about never not loving him.

Patches - Hannah certainly has a lot of your spirit. Looks like she just needed to come round to it in her own way! Bloody good on her, it must have been hard for her.
 
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