Dealing with disappointment

[Gaby&Oreo]

Hey everybody!

Yesterday I took my horse over to Sharjah (I live in Dubai) for a little training show!

I say little, but it was packed! There were over 300 riders at the show, and 67 in my class, which was only an 80cm class!

Sharjah Equestrian & Racing Club has a huge indoor arena so is very popular as a competition venue in the summer... anyway, back to the subject!

It wasn't the first time my mare had competed in an indoor arena, or even at that venue, but we were both on edge, even from the moment she got off the trailer.

When it was our turn to compete we had a stop at the 2nd fence and the 5th down, because I completely overrode


So the question is, how do you deal with a show gone wrong? I get the feeling we're all inclined to take it out on ourselves, and never, ever, blame our horses? I don't know. All I wan't to know is how you manage the disappointment, and any tips for novices like me for the future!

Hope you're all well <333

 

[AmyMay]

You take it as a learning experience.

 

[FlyingCircus]

I never blame my horse for a bad day, only blame myself for not preparing him/her better.

 

[milliepops]

I always try and reflect on every difficult ride (and the good ones too!) , whether that's at a show or at home. When you can put aside the immediate emotional response, you can generally find some positives (e.g. horse travelled well, or was nice to handle, or dealt with the environment well, or stayed on the aids or whatever)

When you've identified some positives, then it's easier to make a bit of a plan for how to improve the things that weren't so good. Like, I need to develop a great warm up routine so my horse is prepared for the class, or I need to focus on my own riding and not worry about the other competitors, or I will practice riding in spooky arenas etc...

Take a bit of time to think over what went well and the root cause of the things that didn't. Then you can take control of your feelings by directing the disappointment into positive action.

Its never the horses fault because the show wasn't their idea

 

[HashRouge]

I never blame my horse for a bad day, only blame myself for not preparing him/her better.

I don't think the OP is blaming the horse, more wondering how to deal with blaming his/herself.
I think you should treat it as a learning experience OP. It sounds like the show was very busy and I imagine the atmosphere was quite stressful/ hectic. You can't recreate that sort of thing at home, so sometimes it is not a case of preparing the horse better before you go to a show, but preparing them better by going to shows whenever you get the chance. That way you should both get more used to the pressure/ atmosphere/ nerves and hopefully start to feel calmer the more you go out.

 

[stangs]

Any ride with issues, regardless of whether it's a show or not, I work through rationally. I think back to each stage and review any videos: what went well, what went wrong, what I could have done better, what would have been good preparation, and what to look out for in future as regards triggers for me/horse. Everything gets written down, so I can use it to prepare for next time.

 

[Gaby&Oreo]

Any ride with issues, regardless of whether it's a show or not, I work through rationally. I think back to each stage and review any videos: what went well, what went wrong, what I could have done better, what would have been good preparation, and what to look out for in future as regards triggers for me/horse. Everything gets written down, so I can use it to prepare for next time.

Thank you!

 

[Gaby&Oreo]

I don't think the OP is blaming the horse, more wondering how to deal with blaming his/herself.
I think you should treat it as a learning experience OP. It sounds like the show was very busy and I imagine the atmosphere was quite stressful/ hectic. You can't recreate that sort of thing at home, so sometimes it is not a case of preparing the horse better before you go to a show, but preparing them better by going to shows whenever you get the chance. That way you should both get more used to the pressure/ atmosphere/ nerves and hopefully start to feel calmer the more you go out.

I absolutely agree! The show was completely crowded, with loads of riders & horses in a not-so-big venue

 

[Gaby&Oreo]

I always try and reflect on every difficult ride (and the good ones too!) , whether that's at a show or at home. When you can put aside the immediate emotional response, you can generally find some positives (e.g. horse travelled well, or was nice to handle, or dealt with the environment well, or stayed on the aids or whatever)

When you've identified some positives, then it's easier to make a bit of a plan for how to improve the things that weren't so good. Like, I need to develop a great warm up routine so my horse is prepared for the class, or I need to focus on my own riding and not worry about the other competitors, or I will practice riding in spooky arenas etc...

Take a bit of time to think over what went well and the root cause of the things that didn't. Then you can take control of your feelings by directing the disappointment into positive action.

Its never the horses fault because the show wasn't their idea

My mare is usually really tricky to load, and usually takes us a few other people to help get her on, and on the way home she was so easy and walked on first go which really felt so good! X

 

[Cowpony]

Go out and compete more. If you don't go out often it's 1 bad ride out of 1. If you go more often it's 1/10 say, and you don't beat yourself up so much.

 

[Wishfilly]

Definitely look for the positives- it sounds like a huge environment which many horses would struggle to cope with, so if she was ridable, even with the stop, I would take that as a positive.

It's impossible to prepare for that sort of show atmosphere at home, but I'm sure the more you take her out, the more things will improve!

 

[Cloball]

Lots of positives there... You were both overwhelmed but you got into the ring and completed despite a stop so you were clearly doing some things right. It is easy to over ride after a stop and you are clearly aware of what went wrong. I'm sure part of the reason it felt so 'bad' is you were coming down from the adrenaline of an unexpectedly overwhelming experience and a bit of hindsight you won't be so disappointed.

 

[J&S]

Just treat it all as "practice"! One day some thing will come along that you will consider "the real thing", it may be a competition but it may be just your horse making you feel proud to own him and have trained him.

 

[MagicMelon]

I wish more people blamed themselves and not the horse, but I actually think the majority is the other way round sadly! We all have bad days, you got round didn't you? You didnt fall off? Id just treat it as one of those days, dont dwell on it and just get practicing more. I tend to line up the next event so I have something to aim towards and focus on. Also well done for competing in Dubai, Ive ridden there and found it a VERY hot sweaty experience. I dont know how you do it! Out of interest, is it really expensive to keep a horse there and to compete? My brother lives there so Ive been quite a lot but everythings so expensive there, Ive always wondered how pricey horse keeping would be