Hovis_and_SidsMum
Well-Known Member
Dear Man Upstairs
First of all I would like to thank you for the first lot of snow: it was pretty for a while, kind of nice to have some snow at Christmas time, allowed me to take some nice pictures of hovis in the snow etc etc.
But if I may now point out enough is enough, time to move on.
My reasons for this request are simple and are as follows:
1. Whilst I have a very well padded behind I feel no need to keep testing my arse airbags by falling on it repeatedly. Once was amusing. After the 10th time I now have a backside that resembles a rotten potato.
2. Hovis is not Bambi. Whilst Bambi on ice is cute, 3/4 of a tonne of flayingly Destroyer is less so. I accept it may be my fault that my steed has no sense of self preservation but if you could just cut me a little slack that would be great.
3. Whilst I know I may resemble a russian shot putter I feel no need to have to keep competing in the ice trough discus. Just one day of not having to wrestle a 4 inch thick frisbee of ice out of a trough would be lovely.
4. If I had wanted to be a builder I would have become one. I am ill equipped to use hammers and blow torches to get water pipes unfrozen. I thank you for the opportunity to learn new skills but I am dangerous and quite frankly should stick to what I know best.
5. I know I am unfit. There is no need to repeatedly keep proving this by forcing me to wade 3/4 of a mile through thigh deep snow. Whilst seeing me panting harder than that weird man who keeps ringing my mobile number might seem amusing I'm not seeing the funny side.
6. Snot icicles are only funny when you are 5. As I am now 33 I feel that this is not a look I need to sport. Furthermore the only thing that a red nose looks cute on is Rudolph
7. If I wanted to feed my horse hay popiscles I'd make him some. Please do not feel the need to assist me any further in my horses nutrional needs
8. Finally -16 is the number of dresses sizes I'd like to drop, not my idea of a desireable temperature.
In summary whilst i am very grateful for the opportunity of taking lots of lovely photos, thus providing me with some very cheap christmas cards, I would now like to request a return to normal temperatures. I promise hand on heart not to complain about mud, dirty rugs, wet feet or mucky feathers. At least for a week or so.............
Yours Sincerely
Slowly defrosting of Lincolnshire
First of all I would like to thank you for the first lot of snow: it was pretty for a while, kind of nice to have some snow at Christmas time, allowed me to take some nice pictures of hovis in the snow etc etc.
But if I may now point out enough is enough, time to move on.
My reasons for this request are simple and are as follows:
1. Whilst I have a very well padded behind I feel no need to keep testing my arse airbags by falling on it repeatedly. Once was amusing. After the 10th time I now have a backside that resembles a rotten potato.
2. Hovis is not Bambi. Whilst Bambi on ice is cute, 3/4 of a tonne of flayingly Destroyer is less so. I accept it may be my fault that my steed has no sense of self preservation but if you could just cut me a little slack that would be great.
3. Whilst I know I may resemble a russian shot putter I feel no need to have to keep competing in the ice trough discus. Just one day of not having to wrestle a 4 inch thick frisbee of ice out of a trough would be lovely.
4. If I had wanted to be a builder I would have become one. I am ill equipped to use hammers and blow torches to get water pipes unfrozen. I thank you for the opportunity to learn new skills but I am dangerous and quite frankly should stick to what I know best.
5. I know I am unfit. There is no need to repeatedly keep proving this by forcing me to wade 3/4 of a mile through thigh deep snow. Whilst seeing me panting harder than that weird man who keeps ringing my mobile number might seem amusing I'm not seeing the funny side.
6. Snot icicles are only funny when you are 5. As I am now 33 I feel that this is not a look I need to sport. Furthermore the only thing that a red nose looks cute on is Rudolph
7. If I wanted to feed my horse hay popiscles I'd make him some. Please do not feel the need to assist me any further in my horses nutrional needs
8. Finally -16 is the number of dresses sizes I'd like to drop, not my idea of a desireable temperature.
In summary whilst i am very grateful for the opportunity of taking lots of lovely photos, thus providing me with some very cheap christmas cards, I would now like to request a return to normal temperatures. I promise hand on heart not to complain about mud, dirty rugs, wet feet or mucky feathers. At least for a week or so.............
Yours Sincerely
Slowly defrosting of Lincolnshire
