Degrees?/Jobs/ Careers/ Education (not horse related, long and a bit moangy)

[wattamus]

Totally stressed at the minute, I'm studying Psychology at university and my first semester exams are on Friday, I have never studied psychology before and so this is really stressing me out as I can't remember or understand anything.
I haven't really enjoyed my time at uni so far and given the choice I wouldn't be there, but all I have heard over the past six months is "you can't afford a horse if you don't have a degree" ,"You will never be able to afford your own house or a nice car, you will be dependent on others for the rest of your life"and therin lies the problem, is this true?
I don't know what I want to do with my life, my mum wanted me to be a Vet or doctor (tbh i would've liked to be a vet but didn't put the effort in at A levels and didn't apply to vet school as I thought it would be impossible and hence didn't get the grades) and I've always had this pressure put on me to be the star, my brother is autistic and my sister is not as intelligent as me and is dispraxic (think thats how you spell it) so it has always been focussed on me to do well.
I got 3 Bs in History, Biology and Chemistry at A level and a D in maths so I'm not stupid but my family were dissapointed.
This makes out that I'm blaming my family/ parents but I'm not (maybe a little) It's mainly my fault, I've made some bad descisions and I maybe should've tried harder. But I just don't know what i want to do with my life and I really can't stand the idea of going back to uni but what kind of life will I have if i don't?
Is it possible to have a horse, car and house without a degree and being totally dependent on your partner?
Advice/ experience and opinions would be gratefully recieved. I apologise if this seems like a pathetic, self- pitying post but it really helps to get it off my chest. Well done for reading this far xxxx

 

[Twizzel]

I'm the same as you, have a 2:1 degree in GEography, planned on being a teacher then decided against it!

All I can say is you're not alone- I graduated in 2010 and still don't have a 'proper' job, although I spent last summer doing full time event photography and have it planned again for this season. Have a go at work experience- I did a placement last week at a rural surveyors which was really interesting but not for me purely because of the amount of study needed to qualify... but you never know what may interest you until you try it. Work exp was also how I decided not to be a teacher. If you can afford to do unpaid work to try it out first I'd definitely recommend it.

Other than that keep your options open, don't be pressured into doing anything you don't want to... I have realised I did the wrong degree but my parents are very keen on me doing a job to do with geography, I have other ideas and as I said have another season of event photography booked yippeee (downside is that I am MAJORLY skint during the winter but never mind)

 

[sleepykitten]

You say you are not enjoying Uni - is it because of the degree you are doing, or the whole experience? If its just the degree, then what are the chances of changing your subject? I went to a Scottish Uni, and you had the option to change your mind, which I did, twice!

As far as the money, job, career thing goes, Its maybe not necessary to have a degree, but I would say a job is important as these four-legged friends are expensive, its also possibly a bit unfair to seek a relationship based purely on whether someone is willing and able to pay for you and support you completely! It has to work both ways!

 

[wattamus]

I think it's the whole idea of education, I've never particularly enjoyed it and always seen it as a means to an end but I can't see an end anymore which i think is why I'm struggling, and if i decide to change course I have to start again next year which means paying £9k fees which I don't fancy doing.
Oh and I have a boyfriend of 2 1/2 years, not horsey in the slightest but always there for me. But I don't want to be dependent on him or anyone for that matter.

 

[Cocorules]

I have every sympathy with you. I dropped out of uni first time around and went back about 5 years later and did something more vocational. I am in a much better job own house not reliant on OH etc. That is a massive plus and I cannot tell you how much better it is not to be financially reliant on someone else. But I hate my job really really hate it. It is seriously stressful. You can make good money without a degree but I suggest you get through the exams and then plan what you really want to do for work. Get as much experience as you can and ask people already doing them if they enjoy it. You are here for a short time try to enjoy it but unfortunately money and independence really do matter if you have horses not an easy choice to make

 

[noodle_]

I hated school and college and as a result messed up

I did 2 diplomas with open college and skinted myself by paying for them - im now in my final year of a degree (business) and aplied for a 2nd research degreee

i still hate education. But to me its a means to and end.

The economy is crap - your better off in education but do something you enjoy.... apply for another transfer/course within your uni if it makes you happier....

 

[trickivicki]

Well, at 21 I have some of the things you wanted without a degree?

Horse (kept at a nice yard with regular competing and lessons).
Car (not brand new but nice all the same).
Trailer (again not brand new but does the job perfectly).
House (not yet but I do add a few hundred pounds to my savings account every month and pay Mum and Dad bed and board).

Debt/ Credit Cards/ Over- Draft- £0

I work 9.30- 5.30 Monday to Friday

All of the above are self funded (not from the bank of Mum and Dad)

I work in Insurance and had no previous experience, started at 18 and worked my way up from tea girl to account handler.

(hope that gave you a little inspiration.....)

 

[wattamus]

wow vikki that's impressive and has really given me food for thought. Thank you for all the advice and opinions they are both comforting and thought prevoking xxx

 

[trickivicki]

Anytime!

(writing it down like that has actually reminded me how well I have done, I should relax more!)

PS- I still have time to socialise and things!

 

[maggie123]

Because you're the last year to study for £3000 a year I'd think really carefully about dropping out. If you change your mind and go back to uni later @ £9000 a year thats a costly mistake you'll kick yourself for. A degree does help with getting a job but is by no means a guarrantee. You still have to have relevant work experience, good interview skills and a positive mental attitude. And, let's be honest, contacts (be it family, friends, teachers, the locals you serve in the pub in your student job) help too.

I graduated in 2009 and am now earning enough to rent a nice flat, keep a horse, save to get a mortgage in the next 18 months run a car and socialise, all in a pricey bit of London. I would not have gotten my job without my degree and the extra curricula activities and work experience those three years gave me the time to do!

 

[Orangehorse]

There is a long way between being totally dependent on someone (not many of those around now!) and having a very well paid job. Most people scramble along OK in the middle.

As someone else has already said, education is a means to an end, it is also a very good point about the fees being more reasonable now than if you dropped out (in which case you would immediately be liable to pay back the loan) and then decied in a year or two to go back to uni.

Can you find a tutor/student union adviser to sit down with you and talk about the options? Maybe you could change to a different course, you wouldn't be the first by a long way.

 

[Anglebracket]

How long have you been feeling like this about your degree? I am wondering if some of the negativity you feel right now might be due to exam stress. Exams are never fun. The exam on Friday will be your first at university level and is therefore bound to be stressful (the fact that it is in a subject you have not studied before also does not help). I think you might feel more positive about university once you have sat your first set of exams.

What made you choose psychology? Is what you are being taught at university different from your expectations? Was it you who chose the subject or was it suggested by someone else? If psychology is not for you I would discuss a change of subject with someone at your university. Perhaps your course coordinator could point you to the right person. However, I would wait untill after your exams.

Good luck on Friday.

 

[smudge99]

My oldest daughter is 22 and although she got good GCSE results she knew school wasnt her thing, worked her way through one or two jobs and she now has a very good job in insurance and is doing very well. She earns a lot more than most of her friends who have came out of uni with very good degrees.
School isnt for everyone you just need to decide what is right for YOU.

Liz

 

[wattamus]

Thanks I applied for psychology because I didn't think I would get the grades for the chemistry course which i originally applied for, I also applied because I want to work with people and I thought psychology would be the way to go. I a=haven't really enjoyed the course at all which is why I think I'm struggling now as i wasn't interested so didn't pay as much attention as i should've done. I think it's also because I find uni quite lonely, I'm there 9hrs a week (yet pay the same as students who are there for 25hrs ) and I live at home so don't really socialise with people there as I have the horse to do on a morning/ evening and 2 part time jobs and it takes me 1hr each way to commute so I hardly know anyone there, don't get me wrong I have conversations with peple but no big time friendships etc.
And there is so much pressure as we have been told repeadtedly that if we do not get a 2:1 or higher then there is no point in us being there as it won't improve our chances of getting a job.

 

[Mithras]

Echo the advice given about discussing your choice of course with your academic advisors. But you also need to think about the positives of a university education, not just the negatives or a way out. And one of the positives is learning to stick at something and not just give in or drop out. Once you start teaching yourself to react to things that are slightly difficult (and university is meant to challenge you), its a slippery slope.

A degree will open more doors for you than no degree. Or let you start at a more advanced level. Although insurance is also an industry that I have a friend working in also who is doing well for herself with no degree.

I'm not sure why you keep mentioning your boyfriend, tbh. Most of us have husbands or boyfriends but don't let them define us. University is a time for socialsing with lots of people, maybe you aren't getting the most out of this aspect of it either?

Oh yeah, and I gave up horses for uni, entered a career I could only do with a 2:1 or higher, and now have 2 horses on full livery and looking to buy my own land.

 

[Gracie21]

WATTAMUS!

You're like me Thank god there is another one like me!

My dad was really disappointed at my a-level results...I got 3 B's (but was in hospital with a punctured lung and left to do my exams!) where as my brothers got all A's, and went to Cambridge & Loughborough! I applied for uni & got all my offers but pulled out at the last minute.

I was not sure about what I wanted to do and I so wanted to go but I didn't see the point of doing something that I might not love to pieces!

My dad hasn't forgiven me for not going to uni (2 yrs ago now) because he thinks I'll be one of the 'dumb-sorts'.

I was intending to do my BHS quals and get started that way (I LOVE teaching) but have dislocated my shoulder a yr ago and everything has gone wrong! I am now very lucky to work at a handbag company where I design handbags and deal with some big customers (clarks, countrywide farmers etc ) but I know it isn't a forever job but really not sure which direction I want to go in, there are so many things I enjoy!

I would have loved to go to uni if I knew what I wanted to do. I enjoy learning and I miss it a lot but appreciate my position and am lucky to have a job I relatively enjoy!

If I were you I'd seriously think about what you want. If you want to do uni, maybe put your horse out on loan, move into halls next year and then at least you will live the uni life? If you want to drop out (there is no shame in it, quite a few of my friends have dropped out because they changed their minds totally) then put a plan in place for yourself, so that you don't get down when you think there is no where to go next!

Good luck in your exams, Keep up updated xxx

 

[wattamus]

Yay I'm not alone! I'm definitley going to go through these exams and wait for results, if I do drop out i wouldn't go unless i have a Job to go to as I'm not sitting on backside and watching Jezza kyle all day.
As to the loaning the horse, that's out of the question as she is waiting for another operation and I'm very picky about her care, plus she is my relief, because i can just go down to the yard, forget about everything and just take care of her xxxx
oh and i mentioned my boyfriend in an earlier post because another poster suggested that it wouldn't be a good idea to go out fishing for a man with money and I just wanted to clarify that I already had a boyfriend who is also a student and so would not be going out looking for rich men

 

[Gracie21]

Good plan! (Although i've heard the new series of Jezza K is very amusing? )

Ah okay, yes of course! Hope it all goes well! It's very important that you have some relief-some people don't need it, but I definitely could not live without a stable to muck out!

Boyfriends are useful. If anything mine makes me stressed so that I forget about what it was that I was stressed out about in the first place!

I hope you manage to figure your thoughts out enough to make a plan whatever happens

 

[wattamus]

Thank you x