Devastated, advice appreciated

Cinnamontoast

Cinnamontoast

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YO spoke to me on his way out this morning, says he wants a word later and it's serious. Apparently I was overheard yesterday having a chat with someone on the yard he really dislikes and whom he considers a troublemaker. There's been a lot of screaming and shouting about various things happening on the yard recently and blame has been thrown around with no proof. The YO gets very annoyed about the rumours but does not get involved or tell the liveries what is happening so speculation is rife.

However, nobody could have overheard my chat given I was wandering up and down doing chores and no-one bar me and the livery I was talking to were round that area. One person to whom I don't speak passed by at one point.

I knew my time was limited there for various reasons but I thought had more time. I'm praying the YO calms down. I have no idea where I'd go. Space round here is at a premium and if the YO is really annoyed, he'll throw me straight off.

Advice would be appreciated. :(
 
Bit confused, what exactly where you talking about that could cause this reaction?
I think i would get looking for yards just incase, hugs xx
 
If you have to leave in an emergency, you'd have to take the horse out of the area and put it on full livery or grass livery with checks/feed/water until something closer to home becomes available.

Hope somewhere better turns up for you soon.
 
Do you have a contract with notice period, if so then unless you have done something grossly wrong eg which endangers safety, or have been stealing, or flaming the YO to lots of people (all examples not suggestions!) then Im not sure how they can ask you to leave without giving the notice period in the contract?

altho tbh maybe you would prefer to go, sounds a bit of a rum do...
 
If you don't have a contract, then however often you pay, weekly fortnightly etc, would be considered the legal notice period, I had this when I was living somewhere, and they sold it without telling us and tried to illegally evict us. Personally I would be looking elsewhere. When I spoke to BHS in a similar circumstance they were very helpful regarding where you stand. Hopefully it will all calm down, but I would def be looking anyway.
Good luck, its not a great situation to find yourself in.
 
No contract, it's the most relaxed yard ever. I didn't flame the YO or anyone else.

I have a feeling they want rid of me for various reasons (someone there deals and wants all the boxes, really dislikes me and would ideally like shot of all the liveries, the YO loves this person :(). The only thing I mentioned was if it turns back into an RS, the YO's rates will shoot up, but he knows this, obviously.

There are trouble makers on the yard who merrily trip off to the YO and will make up rumours/pass on gossip. It's a very unusual situation there and as liveries, we are always treading on eggshells but otherwise, I really love being there and the horse is very happy.
 
It doesnt sound like a very happy place :( whatever you were talking about, you'll know if it was enough to get yo riled to the point of saying youre out.
Theres nothing worse than being in a place where nobody knows whats going on and rumours are rife !
Were you looking to leave anyway ?
If yo has an ok relationship with you, it may be just to warn you about listening to and repeating gossip, or if you want to know ask them not others, im sure if they were asking you you yo go, you'd have been told there and then.
 
Tell him what you've just told us, that you and the horse love the place, and would be gutted to leave, and that you feel caught in the middle of some gossipmongers. Say you just want to keep your head down and go about your business and are really sorry if you've upset them as you think a lot of them...
 
marydoll said:
Were you looking to leave anyway ?
If yo has an ok relationship with you, it may be just to warn you about listening to and repeating gossip, or if you want to know ask them not others, im sure if they were asking you you yo go, you'd have been told there and then.
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I'd rather to leave. My sharer has a pony she shares for her child there so I'd probably lose her. I work 2 minutes away so it's extremely convenient. The nearest other yard is twice the price and has very strict opening times which would make it see hard to manage mornings.

I'm hoping you're right about the immediate ask me to leave thing. We get on fine, but he is a bit funny about my OH being a police officer. He does tend to totally flip and scream at anyone handy. He's illogical and unreasonable.

Honey08 said:
Tell him what you've just told us, that you and the horse love the place, and would be gutted to leave, and that you feel caught in the middle of some gossipmongers. Say you just want to keep your head down and go about your business and are really sorry if you've upset them as you think a lot of them...
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I will, believe me! Sensible advice.

Goldenstar said:
Deep breath , what will be will be and you will get though it good luck when you have that talk.
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Thanks. I'm horribly emotional so I'm dreading it.
 
You don't know what it going to be said yet, it may be the person he considers a troublemaker actually is, and has gone to him telling tales, in which case he might just want to hear your side of the story as ammunition against them.

Just be honest and upfront with him.

Tty not to imagine worst case scenario just yet, it might be nothing of the sort.
 
Presumably you pay for your livery there? I know it's easier said than done but few things wind me up more than hearing about liveries being made to feel terrible somewhere they actually PAY to be so bear in mind you ARE a customer.

I'm not saying all and sundry should be allowed to get away with anything just because they pay, but if you've done nothing wrong why should you be made to feel this way. You might not have a contract for protection but no one is doing you a favour, graciously letting you use their facilities.

Pandering to his ego may be the best course of action if you want to stay there, so feel free to ignore the above :D Hearing about paying liveries walking around on eggshells and being made to feel awful is just a personal bugbear of mine.
 
Sounds like the male version on the YO i just had!

Really, i would be looking to leave no matter what xx
 
CT, I remember another of your threads sounding quite fed up with this yard, particularly with the volatile YO. There must be somewhere better. Its worth traveling further away to a yard where you can get on with enjoying your horse without all this BS and psycho staff. :)
 
cinnamontoast said:
Apparently I was overheard yesterday having a chat with someone on the yard he really dislikes and whom he considers a troublemaker. :(
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This sounds awful: it would be (almost) laughable in any other circumstance. A real Gestapo-yard in fact!

Ditto comments made by another poster re. contract: there should be a notice period and the YO shouldn't be able to just throw you off the yard just for talking to someone! (please don't tell me there's no contract in place???).

I'm a YO - albeit DIY on a small scale, but this sounds like the worst sort of yard. Can appreciate YO's difficulty in having to deal with some difficult people though; BUT this isn't the way to deal with it!

Personally, I'd not do or say anything rash to YO; bum up his man-ego if you have to for the sake of your horse, for now ....... meantime be looking v.hard for another place & get yourself plus horse out of there PDQ as soon as opportunity permits.
 
Flame_ said:
CT, I remember another of your threads sounding quite fed up with this yard, particularly with the volatile YO. There must be somewhere better. Its worth traveling further away to a yard where you can get on with enjoying your horse without all this BS and psycho staff. :)
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You're probably right, but my mates are there, my sharer is there, work is round the corner, most importantly, the horse is happy. Anywhere further away and I'd have real issues doing mornings and some evenings given there are often meetings/Parents' Evenings after work. :(


No contract, the place is generally extremely laid back. I'm aware that this leaves liveries and YO open to losing money: a livery was kicked off last month with no notice, another left after a row with a friend, no notice given on either side.

It's weird, but I'd rather decide myself that I want to go rather than be booted off for something I didn't say.
 
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That doesn't sound like fun at all. I'd be tempted to go with the groveling and point out that you really think a lot of him and the yard and always try your best to be polite and friendly with other liveries so you don't cause trouble.

If the yard is that convenient it's worth the hassle to you that's the way I'd go.

Whatever you do try to stay calm and polite. Losing your rag or getting upset and defensive won't help you. Neither will arguing the points. I usually find ' I'm sorry it seemed that way' to be a good phrase. Doesn't admit anything but isn't confrontational.

Anyway, hope it goes well, please let us know how you get on, and keep your eyes open for other yards just in case.
 
Thank goodness I am not on a yard is my first thought. But if you look on preloved there are some adverts for herts livery vacancies. I dont know where you are exactly in Herts.

Really the YO should just gather everyone and ask everyone to stop bitching and get on with each other. If I was YO would not tolerate any nonsense or squabbles.

Good luck .
 
xxMozlarxx said:
Having read your post in Stable yard I suspect he is justified TBH.
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What the heck about? :o :mad: As you know nothing about this, I suggest you get lost. Idiot thing to say. :mad:


I went back to the yard to speak to him. He says one of the sharers told him I said I was going to ring the council about lessons going on. I was not, because it doesn't affect me and he can do what he likes on his yard. What happened was that the sharer told me we weren't allowed to use the new surface for two days. I said there were several people having lessons so she could use it. This has become ridiculous. :(

The YO does this lots then calms down, but I think it is horrible having to watch every single word that I say, especially when I didn't actually say anything wrong. he usually relents but I'm texting a fellow livery who also wants to move. We will start looking, I think.

I have told the sharer (not mine) that I think she's a horrible cow for causing trouble for no good reason. I did turn her down a while ago when she proposed dropping the horse she currently shares in order to share mine: I didn't think that was very fair on the horse's owner. :confused:
 
In the title you asked for some advice.

I dont suppose you will agree but you need to keep your head down.

This morning you were devastated at the thought of being chucked off.

You haven't, be happy for the time being and look for somewhere else which is suitable.

Texting other liveries talking about moving and telling sharers they are "horrible cows" is quite likely to get back to the yard owner.

You wont like it if he wants to speak to you again tomorrow.

I'm not saying you are wrong in any of this, just keep your head down and make your own arrangement without telling anyone else. Seems like everything said on this yard is twisted and reported back.
 
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