Dilemma - I think my youngster is too much for me

badgerdog

badgerdog

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I've had my 3 year old youngster since she was 7 months old. I've handled her loads and was relatively easy to back a few months ago. I've a great bond with her but I've come to the conclusion that she's a bit too much for me. It's a terrible admission to make - hence writing this at 4 am!
She's the first youngster I've had and I've loved the process but her behaviour is starting to make me anxious. She occasionally broncs when ridden on grass, I had a bad fall from her a few months ago and I escaped with little injury but I feel I was very lucky. I've been riding for 35 years and I've never had confidence issues in the past. I just feel I'm getting too old for this and that I would be better off with something a bit more mature.

Do I:-

1. Sell her on to someone more confident and experienced.

2. Send her away for someone to work with (can't afford to send her away for too long) and keep her.

She is a lovely little coloured horse, good conformation and lovely paces. Done a few in-hand shows where she behaved impeccably and picked up a first and two seconds.

Is there a market for such a horse?
 
Maybe I am reading this wrong, but she is 3 and you have had her backed for several months???

If it were me, I would turn her back in the field and let her grow up and mature for a year before trying again.......
 
Echo Maisy, it does sound as though she's being asked to do too much too soon. I would stick with the in-hand stuff for now and then quietly re-back her next year when she's matured a bit more.
 
I would also turn away and re-back. If she is then too much of a handful I would think of selling but it will be heartbreaking after having her since a weanling.
 
I disagree, with the above, just because you turn the mare away its not suddenly going to come in a different animal.

To me it sounds like your not to confident, which your mare will pick up instantly wther she is 3 or 13!

She looks a lovely saleable sort, so i would sell her and get yrself something more up your street!
 
I agree with Maisy and the others.
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Hi
I think 3 is too young too be asking so much of her, I would now turn her away till next year, this would also give you time to save up and be able to send her away or get some to come to you to start again with her.

I've had 3 youngsters that i have back and they all have been lightly backed at 3 or 4 then turned away for a year and started agian at 3 i personal think they are too young and this may be why she is acting the way she is.
 
There are quite a few issues that would need answering first IMO. If you decide that you don't want to sell her and will turn her away then what will you want to do if she is still the same when re-backed again? If you bought something older and more experienced would you miss the thrills and spills of a younger horse? Would this affect you buying other youngstock in the future? etc etc etc
If you really do not want to sell her then I would turn her away for a bit, try save as much money as possible in this time then when she comes back into work invest it in sending her away for a few weeks then regular lessons with her.
Hope it all works out for you, keep us posted.
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This is a horrible situation but I personally think the horse was started too young and hasn't matured sufficiently to cope with the work. I would turn her away and see if time helps.

Th only other thing I would say from personal experience is be true to yourself and don't force yourself to overcome fear just to ride her. Horses should be fun not something you have to psyche yourself up for. If you are not suited move her on to someone who is. I waited and waited with mine hoping things would come good and it was always next year next year he'll grow up / turn a corner etc and he never did.

I should have bitten the bullet and moved him on but i'd had him from the age of two as a rescue and always felt duty bound to provide some stability for him.

Good luck.
 
I totally agree that turning her away and giving her a chance to mature might make all the difference.

..although that might not help YOUR confidence... but I think she should be turned away anyway!

It would be a shame to sell her now. I've had my boy since he was 7 months old, he was backed a few months ago (as a 4 year old) and had a couple of months off after. I had a fall when he bronched a few weeks ago and it shook me a little - hadn't fallen off for about 16 years. Luckily my confidence is still intact, but I can imagine how easy it would be to lose it - you don't bounce when you get older do you!!! lol I just couldn't bare the thought of ever getting rid of my boy, I would try EVERYTHING first before I ever did that.

I think you should give her some time off, see if you can ride a nice safe horse in the meantime to help you feel better. Carry on with lots of ground work to keep your hand in with your youngster until you re-back her. She's very young.
 
Thanks for all your opinions, I do appreciate your points of view.

I backed her at 3 because she was physically mature, even the saddle fitter thought she was at least 4 but I hear what you say, maybe she isn't mentally mature. I know she's just a baby so all I ever do is go for light hacks for about 30 minutes. She's no bother if I go up the little country lanes, it's just when she gets on the grass.

Turning her away is probably the best option but I'm obviously worried that I'll be presented with the same problem in a years time. At least this option would give me time to think about what I want to do.

If I did this and decided to sell her would she be sellable as a 4 year old next year as a 'backed and turned away' horse.

AmyMay she is 14.3 - 15hh.
 
I would turn her away for a month or 2 (or even over winter) as lots of babies can start to misbehave when they are tired.

i have known many, many horses who have come back little angels from a few months in the field.

perhaps ride some other horses while she is off work to get you back into the swing of things?
 
i would say that while she is still young there are lots of horses whihc are started this young and are fine. you need to keep them experiencding new things. my youngster is the same age and yes we have had issues and she has dumped me but i have persevered and she was really good today. you may end up with the same issue when yuou bring her back. dont forget lots of horses so young horse classes such as british dressage yuong horse classes, burghley young event horse whihc means horses have to walk, trot and canter and jump by four. I know all horses are different but i had a bad fall last week and yes ikt is hard but i have got back on and it was a struggle confidence wise but i have a very kind friend who helps me with her.
 
[ QUOTE ]
I backed her at 3 because she was physically mature, even the saddle fitter thought she was at least 4 but I hear what you say, maybe she isn't mentally mature. I know she's just a baby so all I ever do is go for light hacks for about 30 minutes.

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She definately wont be mentally mature at 3, no way. I bought a Welsh Cob as a 3yo several years ago - he'd been backed and hacked for about 4 months before I got him. Even just light hacking had ruined him! When I got him home, he was dreadful! He napped like hell, basically he'd thrown in the towel! I had to basically re-back him very gently and really I had to take my time with him going up the levels jumping etc. until he was 7 and he started to mature!!

IMO, I think you should sell. Turning the horse away won't help much, you'll likely still have the same problem and it sounds like you're confidence has been rattled which IMO means disaster with a youngster.
 
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