Discussion for Lead Rein Mums/Dads or pushy parents:)

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showpony

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Ok so this was our first year out with our little lead rein pony & we learnt ALOT.
BUT what I learnt most is the fact that there is a severe amount of Bitchiness & politics involved.
I have learnt that @ local level the cute factor is the most important thing as is the child looking like they are having fun... that at the top end of things it is cut throat - we were in the RDS this year for the EXPERIENCE - daughter is only 5 but tbh I saw some awful behaviour on behalf of alot of parents... Plus it seems to be the bigger the hair bows the higher the placing:)

I am a naturally friendly person & smiled @ many in the warm up ring & was just looked up & down or ignored, one father was cursing at his young daughter as she didnt want to go in - Seriously where did the fun go out of competing when kids are UNDER 7 ! Have NO time for it at all , if the child doesnt enjoy what they are doing why force them into it

During line up there were many children who were agitatad & distressed but put in to place by either their Mum or Dad , surely THAT should be judged as unaccceptable?? Obviously not!

Also should ponies who canter off & trot on the spot be considered " Lead Rein" ?

So reckon this sounds like a rant but WHY would any parent FORCE their children into the sport if they DONT enjoy it?

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You look lovely!!!! That is a great picture and I can only say that they were horrid as they were jealous!!!

Showing is like that full stop! :D Everyone is bitchy. It's like part of the uniform. Actually no, not everyone, I am dead smiley too so maybe we can show together and smile everyone out of the ring lol :D I do it for fun but for lots of people its a living/professional purposes so I forgive them for being miserable at that level and feel sorry for their children. Who are spoilt rotten I'm sure :D
 
Al has done a bit of everything, and enjoyed it all apart from showing. She did a county RoR class, beat a few big 'names' (local pros) and suddenly she overheard someone talking about how terrible it was that she was buting up her horse and riding it lame... This is a total lie and beyond horrific that they'd say that and stems from her having a good first time out. In the warm up was someone she knew- they totally blanked her and continued to do so, despite Al smiling and saying hello a few times. In the ring, she was glared at by those on either side, loudly discussed and looked up (total newcomer, wearing eventing gear on an unknown horse...) and generally blanked.

We have never experienced anything like it before, and despite having a good time she's taking some convincing to go again! Eventing/ PC is a much easier game, lol!
 
This is what I consider a happy pony & rider ... am sure many of whom are reading this dont agree but @ such a young age shouldnt very young riders just be having fun & Ponys not just " Kept " to perform in the show ring??? Our little rescue pony does everything from Pony Camp to clear round jumping ! Oh & they were in the back line after initial placings in the RDS but pulled up to the first like by head judge after individual show & they placed 10th out of 25 & got a highly commended award... plus my daughter recieved VERY positive comments from the head judge about her hands & seat..... TBH I felt as if they had come first... great achievement for pony & rider!

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( couldnt shut my daughter up about how much she loves her pony... plus she threw in " My mummy doesn't let me ride if I dont muck out & groom first :eek: )

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You can tell we are SOOO disappointed! :rolleyes:
 
Lovely photos - lovely pony (and daughter of course :) ).

I thnk if handled correctly there is an important life lesson about the fun of taking part, and how being over competitive just turns you into a miserable screwed up little prune of a person. :eek:

Paula
 
Well said:) Just couldnt believe the parents on the day ... appart from one! & even saw 3 out of the top 6 being disappointed with placings & giving out to the tiny riders when exiting the ring... one even said well if " you had bothered sitting up straight you would have been placed much higher" :mad:

Paulag said:
Lovely photos - lovely pony (and daughter of course :) ).

I thnk if handled correctly there is an important life lesson about the fun of taking part, and how being over competitive just turns you into a miserable screwed up little prune of a person. :eek:

Paula
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Tbh, I don't really show & never have. Wh for the jumps is the only thing I like, & even then if its a short hack away. And I have done the local ones with daughter since she was 2, now 7. She did do a few bigger ones the season she was 5 on a friends very experienced show pony, however as she only rode the pony a few times before each show, & subsequently did v well I didn't feel it taught her a great deal. And she's the type of girl who needs bribing to keep clean before a class. She does enjoy the local ones with hers though. But even at that level its not my cup of tea. Too many fat horses & bitching with some. Last year when daughter was 6, her pony was a newly backed, by her, 4yr old, the first class pony did was lr equitation, which they won. According to two parents, that made me a pothunter, because daughter obviously too old! (leggy, but blatently not too old) and pony clearly an expensive top show pony (v pretty, but not a county show pony imo). Same for other lr classes. Same with first ridden, pony is a second pony, but goes nicely enough for first ridden. However cos pony fine & moves well, I've been accused of having some headcase pony when she wins that a kid can't possibly do normal stuff with. Probably doesn't help that at local shows till she finished with lr classes, I never turned out as handler correctly. And getting beaten by someone dressed incorrectly really gets the bitching going. She has been offered the ride on a 12.2 in 2yrs, & no doubt she'll do more showing then, but tbh I am secretly glad she's an adrenaline junkie like me & prefers jumping, xc, hunting etc.
 
Too many fat horses & bitching with some" love this quote!



littlelegs said:
Tbh, I don't really show & never have. Wh for the jumps is the only thing I like, & even then if its a short hack away. And I have done the local ones with daughter since she was 2, now 7. She did do a few bigger ones the season she was 5 on a friends very experienced show pony, however as she only rode the pony a few times before each show, & subsequently did v well I didn't feel it taught her a great deal. And she's the type of girl who needs bribing to keep clean before a class. She does enjoy the local ones with hers though. But even at that level its not my cup of tea. Too many fat horses & bitching with some. Last year when daughter was 6, her pony was a newly backed, by her, 4yr old, the first class pony did was lr equitation, which they won. According to two parents, that made me a pothunter, because daughter obviously too old! (leggy, but blatently not too old) and pony clearly an expensive top show pony (v pretty, but not a county show pony imo). Same for other lr classes. Same with first ridden, pony is a second pony, but goes nicely enough for first ridden. However cos pony fine & moves well, I've been accused of having some headcase pony when she wins that a kid can't possibly do normal stuff with. Probably doesn't help that at local shows till she finished with lr classes, I never turned out as handler correctly. And getting beaten by someone dressed incorrectly really gets the bitching going. She has been offered the ride on a 12.2 in 2yrs, & no doubt she'll do more showing then, but tbh I am secretly glad she's an adrenaline junkie like me & prefers jumping, xc, hunting etc.
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I quite frequently do lead rein with my Shetlands and just adopt riders on the day. I have done this at Royal Show, HOYS Qualfiers to great effect :D

As much as I whinge about the Granny Suit I do rather quite like it! And the shoes are THEE confiest shoes I have ever owned!

But yes, it's the parents more than anything that get my goat!

At a show I Lead Reined at last year and a lovely Welsh A pony went out to do it's show. As they trotted across the diagonal the rider dropped one of her reins, the clever pony slowed down until he could feel a contact on it again and then picked back up to a normal trot. Now if I could hear what the mother said to the child going round there then sure as hell the judge did!

She said: If you dare drop your bloody rein at the Royal Highland Show you will never, ever be allowed to sit on a pony again, do I make myself clear? DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR???

Said pairing finished their show and went back into the lineup where upon the mother spent the next 10mins having a go at the poor kid. The kid insisting it was an accident and she didn't mean to do it but mother dearest, still shouting loud enough for the tannoys to be drowned out, declaring that she did it deliberately. The poor kid was in floods of tears by the end of the class. The pairing were duly put last, the mother rammed the rosette onto the child, threw the packet of sweets at her that the steward had just handed over then literally dragged said pairing from the ring still effing and blinding before the class had officailly been dismissed. They got to the ring rope, the mother socked the pony in the nose with her lead rein to get it to stand while she opened up the ring and the pony shot through at the speed of light for fear of getting walloped. Kid dropped sweets and reins which set off another round of shouting.

The kid did nothing wrong, the pony was an absolute gem in that he steadied up, still trotting just much slower, until the rider had regained her reins and really looked after her. That mother deserves neither pony nor child.

As I left in the opposite direction the steward had come out of the ring to give the kid back her sweets and her rosette that had been dropped and I do believe she gave the mother a very stern talking too as she was there for 5 mins with mother going redder and redder in the face and not getting a word in edgeways! I love those sort of stewards! So if the same thing happens in a few weeks time then she is going to get the sharp side of my tongue and I am no great fan of kids - hence why I borrow them then hand them back again.

No child nor pony deserves that. They didn't win, so what? The judge may well have placed them higher for the pony being genuine if the mother hadn't started mouthing off.

Although I hate to imagine what goes on at home if that going on at shows!

On the flip side, at a show at the other end of the season the judge lined us all up in the middle ready for our inidi's and then practically shouted at us - 'I don't want to see any kids crying! I don't want them being made to do things they either can't, aren't comfortable with or don't want to do. Do I make myself clear? No crying kids! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?!?' I felt like saying back to him - no chance of the kids crying, your nearly making all of us adults cry by having such a go! Lol! At least he had the kids best interests at heart.
 
There are good and bad in showing, just like everything else. At a recent show, riding horse class, the third in line was very unhappy with her placing, told the judge that her horse had not behaved well because he had had to hang around a long time, etc etc. surprisingly enough, all the others had to hang around for just as long :) I do wonder sometimes about the way people present their horses in the show ring, covered in eyeblack (I'm sure it has a proper name, but it's the stuff that makes greys look like pandas :eek:) The girl who won the class was lovely, quiet and according to her parents had been so nervous that they didn't think they were going to get there on the day! I always thought that we do this for a hobby, so we should enjoy it!
 
;p

And as you go up the ranks its worse!
We had issues as Bubs is tall for her age. At one show a complaint was lodged against us for Bubs being too old to be in the class. Sitting down??? The complainant had picked up Bub's showing jacket and noticed it was for 8-9!
I was being a tight arsed Mum and got one she would grow into.
People even complained when she entered a show ring with no jacket on....her arm was in plaster! The committee and the judges had already said that it was no problem and that they were just glad she had the nerve to get back on!
 
Mad isnt it? The horsey world seems to attract mums that like to live their dreams through their children despite the kid being either terrifed or completly not intrested.

At a local show their was a little show pony type that had a very very small child on (legs no where near off saddle) and said pony went up and over backwards on said child who was then left on the floor in the middle of a prancing pony until my dad grabbed her, not her mother or the one handling the pony thought to get her out the way. They then shoved the terrified kid back on and took them in the ring :eek:. Then theres the very expensive pony that we beat which caused an uproar as the pony was very expensive but couldnt canter on the correct leg but still deserved to win over my green but correct pony of similar quality.
 
Colleen_Miss_Tom said:
What a smashing pony :D
Doesn't she look familiar ;)

Col x
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Yup :D

When you are putting a lot of time and money into something I suspect it's very easy for the lines to get blurred between what the parents want and what the children want.

My youngest had a pony, did PC etc, absolutely hated it, so now he does football (a lot cheaper and less effort for me :D). My eldest loves riding, adores PC, is quite happy to groom, muck out and do flatwork (! not bad for a boy!) and I will admit that I do push him sometimes, but then I know how lucky he is to have the horses/facilities/willing mother behind him and when I have driven a round trip of 4 hours, spent £80 in diesel plus horrendous entry fees, I would quite like him to pay attention and learn the course and not ride like a wally when I know he's quite good :D

Can't really comment on lead rein classes though as I refused point blank to dress up and do the matchy matchy thing.

From a showing point of view though it's really about who you are, who you know, and who is sat on what, so if you are going showing and are not One of Those, it's best as Col says to keep smiling and just enjoy it for the experience ;)
 
It was just like this in lead-rein classes 18yrs ago when My daughter used to do them :) We went to have fun, I always told her that if we got a rossette it was a bonus but was all about getting her and her pony out enjoying themselves.
 
I must say I am glad we didn't do the 'lead rein' thing when my daughter - I am sure that is one of the reasons why she is so keen on riding now, when so many who started competing very early have given up.

I do think it is silly to force children into riding if they don't enjoy it, but sometimes what you see at a show is not the whole story! I remember when my daughter was much younger and at that time a very nervous jumper and was doing her first cross country competition on her new pony. We walked the course and it was bigger than we expected and I asked if she wanted to withdraw at that stage and she was adamant that she wanted to do it.

She then got on the pony who was bouncing around like a mad thing and started crying and saying she didn't want to do it. OH, who is made of sterner stuff than me, insisted that she did it, and grabbed hold of the bridle and led the bouncing pony around with crying kid on board waiting to the signal to start. I could see lots of other parents looking at us thinking we were horrible pushy parents. However, once the pony was out on the course it settled down and went they came back over the finish line, daughter was grinning from ear to ear! So in those circumstances it was the right thing to do as we knew that underneath the nerves she really did want to do it!
 
Definitely happens in all disciplines. We took our new pony and SD along to a local show the other week, emphasis on the lead rein jumping classes which started at 9", we entered for the fun and to get her out to her first show. Well i have never seen such competitive pushy parents. They were turned out disgracefully on ponies that hadn't even been groomed. But that didn't matter, the parents ran that fast with the ponies that you could tell the kids couldn't even ride they just hung for grim death! In fact one dad ran that fast his child fell off the back of the pony in the middle of a jump and he had carried on before he realised said child was on the floor crying! Then the child whsoe pony was way to strong and out of control, whose mum shoved him in the ring for the pony to take off and him fall off, she shouted at child, child shouted back even louder and then screamed. He went in next class, was led by mum came 3rd and burst in to tears as his grandma and mum had said they didn't have losers in their house and only 1st places would do! It was truly an awful experence, i had thought i had seen it all at the BS shows but this was truly terrible at the lowest level and still the parents wanted blood! Puts me right off. I have emphasised on looking smart and above all having fun and telling your pony what a good boy he is and how lucky you are to have him!
 
I did lead rein with my daughter for a few years and really enjoyed it, as did she. I loved getting the pony ready and turned out really well and we travelled all over the place with picnics and granny there too. We were pretty successful but it was also great fun. Twenty five years later daughter is still riding, loves her eventing and still likes to turn out really smart. Lead rein is not necessarily a negative experience, even if you are competitive about it.
 
As a Mother of two girls (one baby and one 5 year old) I have obviously done the odd show. We have had very bad experiences at local level showing. At my daughters first show (aged just 2 1/2) she entered "The cutest Pair" for ponies and riders in their most "natural state". She went very smart in her little tweed jacket, canary jodphurs and boots and pony (a 27 shetland) was pretty clean but hairy. During this class a man entered the ring with a little girl no older than 5. During their little show it was napping (only for 3 strides) back to the line up. When the little girl was back in the line up, and the judge/steward were looking at the next child to go, the Father used the most foul language to tell the child that it had "totally f'd up the whole thing and disgraced itself". The little girls eyes were brimming with tears. They had every expensive showing accessory going and a very smart pony, the smartest of them all. The judge, nor steward, heard the man chastise the child and she therefore won the class. We were second from last. Many parents approached the steward, the class had 26 in it, and told of her of what had just happened but they let him walk away.

In April we were at a large local show and my daughter was in the LR class. She was immaculate and her dartommor pony looked cracking. She was put down the order because the had a GP saddle on. This really upset my little girl who very calmy told me as we walked back to the lorry "why should mummy and daddy buy me a new saddle just to come to this little show"? I couldn't answer her.

Showing is a mugs game, at local level its like watching jennifer saunders and dawn french in their ponies sketch. If you organise a local show please make sure that it is the local people who come back year on year not the people in the huge lorries who have 3 adult grooms warming up 12hh ponies.

The PC has taught my daughter everything as has hunting. They don't need showing to make horses fun.
 
Much as I'm the first to agree there are negative aspects, tbf as other posters have said, things aren't always what they seem, & it isn't all bad. Due to years of working my backside off in badly paid horse jobs, I'm able to get results & do stuff without spending much. I teach my daughter myself, & as she's very keen, this means it equates to having had one on one training almost daily from an early age. Previous loan pony & rides have been obtained in return for favours from me. Her current pony cost £10, I did/supervised its breaking & schooling, she backed & rode it (nobody else even sat on it yet) last year when she was 6. We hack to stuff cos no transport. Daughter puts in a lot of work & effort & I'm very proud. And pony is slightly more flashy than the average aged hairy most under 8s ride at low level local shows. And daughter has a distinct advantage over a kid with vaguely horsey parents & a few years of weekly lessons. As a result aged 7 she does do quite well, so I have been on the receiving end of 'ok for some' comments. People prefer to see nice pony, competent child & assume you have just spent a fortune. Because at a low key show they wouldn't see my child mucking out at 7am on a freezing winter morning, or hear her requesting to ride my schoolmistress to perfect her aids for leg yield so she can teach her pony. So it does work both ways.
 
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