Dissapointed in myself :(

LaurenBay

LaurenBay

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Just a pointless moan, from me today! I am so disspointed in myself. As some of you may be aware, I suffer with confidence issues (due to a horrible bolting accident, not with Ruby though) I really thought I was starting to move on from this. But then yesterday disaster struck!

Ruby has been back in ridden work for about a month now. Mostly hacking alone and in company.

So yesterday I tacked up and went on a hack. I picked a route that Ruby has done around 5 times in company and about 4 times in hand (with me) alone. She just has never been ridden around it alone. She has never found this particular route scary. She was a bit nappy to start with, but I wouldn't let her stand, gave her a growl and a kick and kept her forwards. She then start zig zagging on the road, due to her wanting to turn around and me saying no. So she got a tap on the bum with my whip. She then moved forwards (straight) and was praised. We walked passed another yard and there was a Horse being lunged in the school. Ruby started calling for it and then jogging sidewides and throwing her head around. I kept her forwards and trotted on. Then 2 cyclists came whizzing down the hill torwards her, followed by a boy racer in his car. I asked the cyclists to slow down, which they didn't. She spooked in to the road and I was frightend the boy racer would zoom past, not leaving me enough room. Luckily he saw what happened and bless him, turned his engine off and waited for me. After I had kicked her on and thanked the driver. Ruby was very wound up. I kept calm and kept her thinking forwards. She spooked loads but it didn't worry me too much. Then I headed back for home. We had to go down a long hill and she was trying to trot sideways down it the whole time. I kept relaxed and sung to calm myself down. Once I had reached the bottom of the hill, Ruby started throwing her head around and hopping. A car overtook us (slow and wide) and Ruby kicked out at it :eek: I decided that enough was enough and got off (Ruby is fantastic in hand) I led her for a few minutes and she calmed right down. I got back on and she started pratting around again. I completly lost my nerve and got off and walked the whole way back to the yard.

I know I shouldn't have gotten off as I could teach her bad habits. But I just couldn't face up to getting on a third time. I put her out in the field and she had a mad 15 minutes. So I'm thinking she just had a lot of energy this day.

I was on such a high from Saturday (first canter in 4 months and a hack alone in wind, in which she was perfectly fine!) and now I am so dissapointed in myself. I feel like I have taken so many steps backwards :(

I can't ride now until Saturday, so my plan is to ride in the school, see how she is and perhaps go around the route that we usually do alone. Then on Sunday ask someone from the yard to go around the route I attempted yesterday with me.

So gutted :(
 
Aww it's horrible isn't it when you feel you have taken steps back again. My mare is just like that when hacking alone, particularly in new places. It really is disheartening when you think they are going well for a few weeks and then you get a day like that and everything seems to fall to pieces again.

Try not to beat yourself up about getting off and going home - we all do it at some point and better that than you carry on and get hurt or lose even more confidence. Maybe go back to hacking out with someone for now or even get someone to walk on foot with you for a bit?
 
I'm reading alot of positives in this post!

You didn't put up with any nonsense on the way out of the yard. (IME this is the most dangerous part of the hack).

You sent her forwards continously and she never once got away with the bad behaviour she was testing you with.

She was jumpy down a hill and you got off when you felt threatend. Next time you know to (excuse the phrase... but) 'man up' and get on with the head tossing on the way home. on the way home you have more licence to control your direction.

When she does this turn her around and walk her away from home until she does walk sensibly then turn and walk towards home again. Keep repeating until she gets the message!

Good job so far! head up and keep at it!!
 
Actually I think you coped really well, I completely understand how awful all the head tossing and jogging sideways feels. Can you do circular routes in future? She sounds like she probably needs this to help stop the napping. Try not to be too disheartened and keep persevering!
 
I think you did the right thing by getting off if you were nervous. Getting off and leading doesn't cause bad habits but makes a slightly overpowering situation safe for both of you.

Horses are so sensitive to our emotions that sensing you are worried can make them quite worried. When you got off you immediately felt safer and more in charge and so Ruby also felt relaxed and happy for you to take charge.

Keep within your comfort zone and just do whatever you feel is right for you and although you may have the odd step back, you will find that gradually you will get bolder.

This time, next year - Badminton!
 
Thank you for your kind words!

I do think the route was the problem, as it is not circular! There is a small triangular patch of grass that we walk around though, so atleast make them turn around and not spin. She done this route 2 weeks ago with another Horse. Ruby led the whole way with no issues.

The normal route we take is circular and one Ruby and I know very well. In fact I took her around it on Saturday in high winds and she didn't nap at all and hardly spooked.

I just hope and pray that this doesn't become a regular thing!

PS. TT don't worry, I said I needed to "Man up" to my YO when she asked how my ride went :p
 
There are worse things than getting off, you dealt with her well for a lot of the hack, and she calmed down when you got off, so that's a positive too. I've gotten off on hacks before now, when there has been no reasoning and i felt i would be safer on the ground. If she calmed down when you got off, then she trusts you and that's important too.

Next time she will probably be fine and show you just how good she can be, but don't stress about it either way, or she may pick up on your tension. Let us know :)
 
Don't take this the wrong way, but this may not be the ideal time to start hacking alone. I'm in Essex too and the last couple of days mine have gone a bit loopy - I think it's the first flush of grass coming through - very early! - as I can see a massive difference in my field from the last couple of days :eek: Fergie was being a total pig y'day - I was trying to school bareback and he spent most of his time quivering and trying to leap around because of horse-eating plastic cup lids :rolleyes: totally out of character for him, and meaning I turned into a total wuss too.

I just wonder if your life might be easier if you left it a couple of weeks so there's time for her to adjust to the change in grass, particularly if she can be temperamental anyway? I'm not normally one for pandering to horses, but where confidence is an issue, it's easier to give yourself every chance of success.

However, there's lots of positives in there - you got back in one piece, she was a numpty at times, you rode through most of it, she behaved when you got off and led her - it could be a lot worse! Look on the bright side :)
 
Thank you. Yes I am much more confident on the ground then on board! I forgot to add that the lovely boy racer driver, passed me when I was on route back (on foot) he again turned of his engine and wound down his window to ask if I was ok. Bless him. I thanked him again and apologised for her spooking and throwing a tantrum in the middle of the road and he just laughed and said it was fine. I wish more drivers were like him!
 
I'm reading a lot of postives too. Not only did you take charge and deal with a lot of challenges (napping, bikes etc) but you made a sensible decision when it all got a bit too much and you have a realistic, achievable plan for taking the next step. Well done and good luck for next weekend.
 
I agree with JFTD, I'm in Sussex and despite having had some really cold weather lately the grass is still coming through, and it's really green. My youngster has been well and truly on her toes lately, even in hand! I think you did brilliantly. I've had and still suffer with confidence issues and I know at one time I would never have made it out of the yard with a horse behanving that way! You did great!. Like others have said, stay in your comfort zones and gradually it will all get better. Good luck for next weekend. :)
 
Awww don't worry about it at all I rode my 17hh IDx gelding both days on the weekend, both days on his own and for some reason he was a lunatic:D The first day might of been the strong wind but the second day was a lovely calm day. Don't know about your horse but mine just felt in very good spirits:D calling to horses in the field (he never does this) I had to get off and lead him past one field of horses because they were going mental(and I never ever get off if I can help it) then I couldn't get back on managed to get him to stand by this gate put my foot in the stirrup and he moved and I did the splits:D Also we had to bring a few in from the field to have their teeth done today and the 20 yr old was rearing the whole way!!!! the others were trying to tank off it was carnage:eek: There is a lot of strange behaviour going on at the mo, don't feel bad about dismounting there are some situations that it is safer I have always been taught that the safest place is on board!! but if you have a horse that calms down when you get off then that's the safest thing for you not a sign of weakness just sensible:)
 
chuck her in the field, let her have 15mins of a hooley, you muck out her box do her hay etc, bring her in and ride her and be confident in everything you do. Lift your head high and look straight ahead, stop thinking what if.
 
Thought I would post a quick update to let you all know how we are getting on with hacking. We have done this route 3 times since we attempted it solo, all 3 times we have been with another Horse and she was fine. She took turns in leading and going behind and was great. I have hacked out pretty much everyday by myself around the housing estate, Ruby is fine around that (no matter which way I go round it) and has stopped rushing to get home and not as spooky or silly. She did try to nap the other day, because she thought she had finished :p (I wanted to go round again, she wanted to go home) but with a firm leg and voice, I got her to walk on and had no more problems.

She is much more chilled in herself, despite the spring grass coming through. She is living out now as the weather has been great and she is being worked 5-6 times a week (yay for lighter evenings)

I have roped a friend into coming on foot with me, so I think I will be attempting the solo hack next weekend, It will be a huge relief for me to have someone on the ground and I daresay it will be good for Ruby too.

Wish us luck.
 
Definitely no need to be disappointed in yourself - so many positives there that you should be proud of yourself. This time of year with the new grass can be a nightmare when half of them turn into Tigger on speed!
 
Thank you, now I look back at it, I do see a lot of positive things. But at the time I felt so gutted that I couldn't see past the bad things. I felt I shouldv'e made more of an effort to stay on and ride her through it rather then just getting off. But now I look back at it, I believe getting off was the right thing to do. If this had been a year ago, I wouldv'e given up after about 5 minutes as I was a mess then.
 
I see alot of really good positives, currently suffering some confidence issues myself I feel that I would of gotten off a while before you did.

Just a few suggestions...

The obvious one would be to maybe lunge her for 10 minutes before, lets her have a blast and gives you chance to gauge whether she might be having a 'fizzy' day before you choose your route.

Or... if you have a some good hacking friends you could have them set off a few minutes before you on the route you are struggling with with a pre-arrangement to rendezvous at a point you feel you could require some support, then do the rest of your hack together. The next time your horse may have more confidence expecting a friend to be around the corner. I know that some may disagree with this suggestion as could possibly cause some further problems but it's a thought??
 
LaurenBay said:
Thank you. Yes I am much more confident on the ground then on board! I forgot to add that the lovely boy racer driver, passed me when I was on route back (on foot) he again turned of his engine and wound down his window to ask if I was ok. Bless him. I thanked him again and apologised for her spooking and throwing a tantrum in the middle of the road and he just laughed and said it was fine. I wish more drivers were like him!
Click to expand...

I think you have pulled!:D

Also bear in mind that recent research has found that a horse's hormones go a bit haywire during coat change. One factor of this hormonal change is that adrenaline levels rise. This in turn has been found to have an effect on insulin management,hence the risk of laminitis in spring and autumn. It also means,from a hacking point of view that most horses have high adrenaline right now,so more easily spooked and wound up.
I have noticed trouble with my horse in previous years. Once the cow parsley is out he seems to be OK. Now I am aware of the coat change being a hormonal roller coaster for them,I won't beat myself up if I have to get off and lead him for a bit.

Well done and you are not alone.
 
Nothing wrong with getting off!!
Better to get off one min early than one second too late!
Shows you know your horse and how to best support them.
It's a shame you feel disappointed! I've had a couple of accidents where getting off as soon as I thought I should would have saved me weeks of pain and time off.
Well done and don't ever feel its a failure to know when to get off.
 
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