Dizzy Blonde Attempts To Event - Hair-Raising Skipton 2 Novice Report

Hels_Bells

Well-Known Member
Joined
28 September 2008
Messages
1,720
Location
North Yorkshire
Visit site
WARNING: Prepare for event report of PhD proportions.Sustenance may be required.Report may contain jockey shooting.

So. Having been "attempting to attempt" our second Novice for some time, Supergroom/Sacked Cameraman and I headed off to SK2 for another stab!

It was stupid (4) o'clock when alarm went off as once again my plea for a reasonable start time had failed (perhaps they just don't like my punctuation?) ;)

We were cutting it fine for time and whilst rolling up Remy's plaits I heard sacked cameraman making some rucus outside in the yard... THE PONY had done an escape act!! :mad: Guess who hadn't shut the gate properly at stupid am? SHOOT THE JOCKEY! I confess here to losing my composure... (sorry Supergroom, I'll reinstate you as cameraman if you'll forgive me!). Visions of a missed 3rd event in a row due to chasing 24yo Darty round the dales raced through the red haze in my mind... :mad::mad: Luckily some of Remy's big horse eventer feed, that her lami-ness is not allowed, tempted her back in! Phew:eek:

Back to plaits.. load up, off we go! Made good time and formed cunning plan for Germanic time efficiency on arrival which was quickly shot out of the water when we discovered I'd forgotten Remy's one-and-only-all-purpose-three-phase bit! We were up **** creek without a neue schule team-up bit... or any bit for that matter! SHOOT THE JOCKEY! :eek: Off to shopping stands I fled to find the only open one didn't do bits. Trying not to hyperventilate and with DR start nearing I ran for the bastion of hope that is the secretary's tent. The folk therein didn't seem to empathise with my state :p but pointed me towards the "largest lorry in the park". Legged it there and thankfully was met with a lovely lovely lady who loaned a bit, really nothing like Remy's apart from it had "a lozenge" but it was do or die at this stage so I thanked her and ran. Thank you so so much to her!

After pre-apologising to Remy and praying for him to forgive me for what he was about to recieve, off we set to the DR warm up. Apart from boggy ground, and Rem's sudden fear of white boards at arena entrances ?:confused:? he was a total poppet about the bit situation and test went ok but didn't set the world alight!

Now. UBERsupergroom (of Badders grooming fame) had the previous day hinted that she may come and visit us, so I asked supergroom/reinstated cameraman to give her a call and see if she could pick up our bit on her way through. (Supergroom therefore called her land line and managed to wake her parents at 0745 after a big wedding the night before. D'OH!) But her mum is v forgiving and UBERsupergroom soon called back and told me to delay my SJ if I could and she would be along asap with the bit! L.E.G.-E.N.D!

So, checked about delayed SJ/XC start with sec who, understandably, gave me a "god we've got a right one here" look:eek: Walked SJ, ok apart from going and Christmas tree in the middle of line between 7 and 8.

Then the skies clouded over and torrential rain encompassed us for about 20 mins. I was suddenly grateful for the bit problem, as we would have been SJ-ing at that very time. Almost as soon as the storm passed, UBERsupergroom arrived with bit in mit!!! The storm was over and we were saved!!

So quickly off to SJ we went. Warm up boggy but fairly constructive, there was no queue so went in as soon as we were ready and managed to leave all except one uo which I was pretty pleased with given the conditions, clears being few and far between! At this stage the scoreboard looked fairly in our favour according to UBERsuper + super so I prepared to go for it XC to minimize TPs.

Thinking we were back on track we rushed on to XC. There was about 5 before us and Remy was getting quite excited about it all! Went over to start box... "40 Seconds.... where's your medical card??" Nooo!! I'd forgotten to put it on!! SHOOT THE JOCKEY AND DON'T MISS THIS TIME!!! :eek::eek: Felt like such an idiot and felt even worse for poor Remy who had been such a star so far despite my stupidity!

Supergroom was at this point at the furthest part of the course, with car keys (medical card was in car of course!) and not answering his phone. So we had to sidle back to the lorry park with our tails between our legs. Poor Remy seemed pretty crestfallen. Luckily UBERsuper to the rescue again; paper, pen and duct tape to tape relevant details to IDIOT JOCKEY!

Back to warm up, about 2 to go before I was slotted in and off we set! Having not done Novice XC since Richmond 1 and Remy having just done a BE100 last weekend and also probably being rather confused by all the two-ing and fro-ing of the day, he was rather alarmed by the proportions of fence 1 and took a bit of a double take at it. Not the most glamourous start, but mindful of time I kicked on. Fence two, I seem to remember, was also a bit sticky I think Rem popped an extra stride in. Then fence 3. It was a laurel brush, more of a sparse collection of twigs. Assuming Remy, who has more or less learned the meaning of brush fences, would connect the abundance of daylight with "brush fence" was a mistake on my part. He jumped it like it was the wall at Olympia!! Up up up and down down down, I think we must have been airbourne for 3 seconds at least! Luckily fence four was fairly kind so went ok!

Now up the hill to fence 5 which I had been most apprehensive about. As Remy had been a little eratic thus far I gave him a bit of a tap to make sure he listened to me. Also, thanks to Gamebird and another friend I'd been well advised to show-jump it given the severe drop not much more than two strides after it, and this we did!! Remy did it really rather well and we made a steady descent to water which was a log-drop requiring an angle to make the offset narrow log at the exit to the water*. Remy did this brilliantly too and off to the MAHOOSIVE hedge at 7 we went.

[*This is the point where the sacking of the cameraman largely occurred. I'd been rather worried about this fence, but after waiting around for ages while we made medical cards, cameraman filmed half of the wrong person then the batteries ran out!! So no evidence of our intrepid bravery :rolleyes: Quite funny now I write it down!! :D Don't ask about the dressage filming unless you have night vision goggles!]

As we approached huge hedge at 7 Remy intimated something along the lines of "you cannot be serious" to me. I intimated back (through the medium of a smack and a "get on" kick) that I was entirely serious. So over we went!!! Woooeee!

At this point the penny seemed to drop for Remy that this was not a walk in the park and needed to be taken rather more seriously. Finally the business-like XC superstar that Remy can be kicked in!! Allelujah!! :D:D

8 and 9 and the step-up-to-log-drop-to-arrowhead-brush to be ridden on an angle at 10 went brilliantly, and 11. Now on to another big question, another ENORMOUS hedge at 12 to a not too bad corner (NUMBER 13) to be ridden on a curve or similar. I had puzzled over this one a lot while walking the course and had decided to jump hedge straight then turn after 3 strides aiming for the sheep trough in the distance as our marker for the corner...

Sadly not everything goes to plan.

Remy jumped huge over the hedge and I managed to turn him in time to aim for the corner but our line was not good and despite it not being big Remy hit it hard. :(:eek::(

At this point, I'm told, supergroom was about to phone up and order a new wifey and the ambulance driver was half way out of his cab.

SOMEHOW, Remy managed not to totally bank the corner and scrambled over, I was halfway out of the saddle heading for the ground, and by some miracle managed to hang on and get back up in the saddle while Remy still gallopping found his feet. He seemed fine but we were heading for fence 14 with no stirrups which now seemed much bigger than it had in the course walk!

Managed to find stirrups with about a stride or two to spare and we got through it. Remy still seemed fine and full of running so we carried on, jumping 15 and 16 (hay feeders and lots of round bales on a curve) like a pro!!

Off to 17 a let-up wall then unusual and largeish skinny in the middle of 2 trees - again Remy pro'd it (probably sensing he was homeward bound). I was very mindful of the random skinny barrel at 18 and the problems it might cause, so I took it very carefully which paid off but probably cost us some (more) time! Then step bounce hedge combo which Remy did v well before the ditch pallisade and off to the final fence and home CLEAR!!!!!

I was chuffed to bits with Remy. About the most eventful XC round I think we have ever had, but we still made it round clear! :D In hindsight I wished I had not worried about time so much as I think that was the route of our problems but despite all the shenannigans we got 12.8 TPs which wasn't bad considering only 1 person in our section got inside the time (and 12.8 TPs was fairly low overall).

With our Dressage of 39, SJ (4 pens) and XC (12.8) we finished 16th, half way down the field and not bad for our second ever Novice run and given all the hoodehaa the day had provided AND ALL BEFORE LUNCHTIME!! If the DR had been better we might have really surprised! A good result really despite the gods (or perhaps jockey is a dumbass) being against us! Hope the photographer took pics of me at the same fence as Gamebird so I can finally purchase some evidence of us eventing over something huge to terrify non-horsey friends!! :D Anyway, v much looking forward to Richmond in 2 weeks time! I hope the DR and SJ are up to scratch in time for it and the XC less eventful!!

Thanks so much to Supergroom and UBERsupergroom and spare bit lady for saving our bacon!! And to Remy for being a ledge and all the helpers who put the event on depsite Sodom and Gomorrah weather conditions over the two days!
 
Last edited:

lucemoose

Well-Known Member
Joined
8 January 2007
Messages
4,495
Location
London..ish
Visit site
i cannot believe that the same Remy I used to see returning from a walk around the block turned inside out with eyes rolling is this mythical Remy I read about hurling himself over hedges!! Am so amazed and in awe!!!! Loved the report!!
 

Rosiefan

Well-Known Member
Joined
11 February 2007
Messages
5,761
Location
Essex
Visit site
Fabulous report (I've not read any PhDs of any proportions but I'm guessing they're not usually this entertaining). What a day! Very well done but do be careful next time out and may I suggest a checklist? ;)
 

Mince Pie

Well-Known Member
Joined
13 June 2011
Messages
9,760
Visit site
Erm... do you find eventing boring and have to make up your own fun?! ;) :D

Sounds like an interesting day but well done on your second run - perhaps buy another bit and leave it in the lorry, along with your medical arm band?

Look forward to pics.
 

Hels_Bells

Well-Known Member
Joined
28 September 2008
Messages
1,720
Location
North Yorkshire
Visit site
i cannot believe that the same Remy I used to see returning from a walk around the block turned inside out with eyes rolling is this mythical Remy I read about hurling himself over hedges!!

I know - I do have to remind myself of what/how he used to be!! We always knew he was a nice boy though!! :D
 

Hels_Bells

Well-Known Member
Joined
28 September 2008
Messages
1,720
Location
North Yorkshire
Visit site
What a day! Very well done but do be careful next time out and may I suggest a checklist? ;)

I know RF - my checklist failed!! I am usually meticulous but bit is always attached to bridle... except of course when it's not!!! :rolleyes::eek:

BBH - that made me laugh out loud!! Eventing Boring!!!!?? Ha ha.

Thanks for the kind words T_E even for a numpty like me!!! :D
 

AnShanDan

Well-Known Member
Joined
2 May 2007
Messages
1,692
Visit site
Really brilliant report!!!
What a day you had. It can only be simpler next time......
I think I'd have heart failure if I'd forgotten the bit ;) makes me feel sick thinking about it.
Your description of the near one at the corner is priceless too!!
Well done.
 

SpottedCat

Well-Known Member
Joined
18 May 2007
Messages
11,668
Visit site
Brilliant report! Well done! I am completely bewildered as to why your bit wouldn't be attached to your bridle in the first place though.... ;)
 

Hels_Bells

Well-Known Member
Joined
28 September 2008
Messages
1,720
Location
North Yorkshire
Visit site
Aww thanks for the lovely messages, glad our comedy effort has amused some of you on a Monday afternoon!!!

I am completely bewildered as to why your bit wouldn't be attached to your bridle in the first place though.... ;)

Well, SC, as always I have an excuse!!! ;) :D I have 3 bridles but only one bit.. One bridle for stressage (because my bargain stressage saddle was black I had to get a black bridle to match!!), one for SJ/XC which is brown, I also have another bridle which I think I have only used twice (it came with Rem). I decided to get ahead of the game this time by cleaning both Competition bridles well in advance and using the spare one for my last session before the comp. I then packed car etc (again well in advance), checked my checklist... 2 bridles... check! But completely forgot about my bit which was still hanging up on the spare bridle which never gets used!! Still hideously stupid, but not as stupid as the person who forgot both dressage and jumping saddle that I've just heard about from a friend!! Makes me feel a slight bit better! :p
 

MissSBird

Well-Known Member
Joined
26 May 2008
Messages
2,063
Visit site
I am glad to know that I am not the only one who can have some pretty forgetful days.

I have to say, the image of you chasing a dartmoor around the dales brought tears to my eyes :D

Well done on a sucessful day, despite the minor problems...
 

sprite1978

Well-Known Member
Joined
30 November 2009
Messages
606
Location
North West
Visit site
Very good report. My heart was racing just reading it.

It really is refreshing to read reports like this when there is so much debate about the Dumbing down and bitchyness on the forum.....Fab.

Keep up the good work.
 

NicoleS_007

Well-Known Member
Joined
5 February 2010
Messages
2,084
Visit site
Fab report, what an exciting day you had :eek: I usually dont read reports unless there are pictures :eek: But I was hooked from line one!! Well done and good luck for your next event, I look forward to the report ;)
 

photo_jo

Well-Known Member
Joined
15 June 2010
Messages
1,810
Visit site
No bit, no medical card-pah a friend of mine (and I kid you not) forgot the horse!!:eek::eek:
Sounds like an entertaining and ultimately fab day out though-very well done:cool:
 
Last edited:

DarkHorseB

Well-Known Member
Joined
27 September 2009
Messages
4,262
Location
Border Reiver
Visit site
No bit, no medical card-pah a friend of mine (and I kid you not) forgot the horse!!:eek::eek:
Sounds like an entertaining and ultimately fab day out though-very well done:cool:

I have also heard this story - wonder iof it is the same one. Two people and both thought the other had loaded the horse :confused::eek::eek:

Fab report Hels_Bells - yes the secretary's tent must have been thinking OMG what do we have here? :D:p:rolleyes: Just think how well you will do when brain is actually engaged ;):p:D
 

photo_jo

Well-Known Member
Joined
15 June 2010
Messages
1,810
Visit site
I have also heard this story - wonder iof it is the same one. Two people and both thought the other had loaded the horse :confused::eek::eek:

No they just forgot to load one of a lorry load-someone else arrived at yard to find Jake plaited and booted and tied up. Gamebird will know person, begins with N and ends in X:rolleyes::rolleyes:
 
Top