Do horses cause divorces?!

C

CharlotteRS

Active Member
Joined
31 December 2008
Messages
35
Visit site
I'm writing a feature for Horse magazine looking at whether horses really do break up relationships... I know of a lot of disgruntled husbands (mine included) who call themselves horse widowers - but do you know of anyone that chose their horse over their husband?

I'd love to hear your stories - you don't have to be married, just anyone that was in a relationship and decided that their horse was more rewarding!

can you email me directly at charlotte@herdesk.org?

thanks loads
 
Hi,

Could you also include in your feature some tips for keeping the OH happy when you take on a horse? (Also-how to accurately commnunicate just how much time a horse on DIY needs - totally failed with OH when I bought my 1st 3 years ago!)

Best of luck!
 
Tell the husbands to get a boat. Boats cause at least as many divorces as horses. Best case scenario husband has a boat, wife has a horse and they meet in the middle to share exciting anecdotes. :p
 
Moobucket said:
Tell the husbands to get a boat. Boats cause at least as many divorces as horses. Best case scenario husband has a boat, wife has a horse and they meet in the middle to share exciting anecdotes. :p
Click to expand...

You have two great days with a boat, the day you buy it and the day you sell it!

I agree boats or golf are good options as this keeps them out of the way for longest!
 
I don't think that horses cause divorce, I do think they highlight any problems.

As suggested on here, if your husband is mean in spirit or money, then you find out pretty quickly.

Luckily I have a fantastic OH who loves all the horses and insists they are always looked after well ... as long as he doesn't actually have to poo pick or fill haynets they add to the quality of our life.
 
I have a horsey OH, and without the horses we wouldn't be together. Saying that we argue about the horses more than anything else!
 
I am lucky as my partner is a golf fanatic so while I am at the yard he is more than happy to spend hours on the golf course. He also enjoys snow boarding and mountain biking. This works well just now but I do worry that it may cause issues in the future as we hardly ever see eachother!!
 
Check out a page on Facebook called The Fat Pony. It's about the adventures of an incredibly adorable Haffy who's mum did exactly that. Chose her Haffy over husband. I think she may have been featured in H&H before if I remember correctly. But she's a lovely lady :)
 
My ex husband developed a gambling addiction and used to play fruit machines while I was at the yard. I was unawares as he said he was at home. He eventually lost his job (as a cashier in a bank) after he was found to have stolen £15,000. He swore blind the only reason he did it was because he was a horse widow. I sent him the paper shortly after I kicked him out. I chose my horse over him but it was an easy decision as he was a lying barsteward with a gambling addiction and a 'its everyone else's fault apart from my own' attitude.
Not really sure that counts hahaha!

Now have the most amazing other half who is perfectly happy to be a horse widow haha
 
Moobucket said:
Tell the husbands to get a boat. Boats cause at least as many divorces as horses. Best case scenario husband has a boat, wife has a horse and they meet in the middle to share exciting anecdotes. :p
Click to expand...

Haha we've done just that! New horse moves into her new field the day after we get back from honeymoon and the new boat will be bought ready for the next year - win win! :D
 
If a man is disgruntled or controlling enough to make his wife/partner choose between him or the horse or moans to the point it breaks down the marriage it is his personality at fault not the fact that horses are involved. It really isn't about horses at all it's about lack of respect for his partner or insecurity, control or whatever is preventing him from entertaining himself whilst his partner is busy. There must be something else fundamentally wrong with the relationship or the person if they cannot cope with their wife/partner having a hobby of their own. There has to be give and take on both sides but never all or nothing.
I dislike my OH having a motorbike after his two accidents but I would never dream of saying that to him nor would I ask him to stop and I'll happily go along with him shopping for a new one as it makes him happy. That said I won't go on it with him but equally I'd never expect him to get on one of my horses.
 
Unhappy unsuited couples can always find something to argue about , while happy suited ones can bear a lot of ludicrous behaviour from one or both sides.
 
Agree with GoldenStar. Mine loves the fact I have mine, he goes running & gives him chance to have peace & quiet :). He comes up a lot more in the summer than winter tho! Can't really blame him!
 
No, I think the horse may get the blame but it is just a symptom of a relationship which was in difficulty anyway. My ex resented me spending money on my horse. He didn't however resent me spending money to keep him in a style he had become accustomed to. Happy for me to pay for everything and him contribute nothing, and still didn't think I should have a horse (goodbye :D)
 
I get constant comments to how much horses cost . . . . it gets very boring .

At the end of the day I tell him horses were there before he was and he married me knowing they would always be part of my life.

I only keep 1 horse and a pony for company and we recently brought 2 acres but to be honest i don't think we save loads on livery as it takes quite a bit of maintenance .

To be fair I do sympathise with him and times are tough in the current climet but horses cost what they cost which always seems to be a fortune:eek:.

As for time hes a keen golfer so I try to be fair and let him go when he wants but it is hard when you have young kids and a young horse that seem to take up all the spare time.

I sound like a right bitch rereading this I should mention I do love him even though it sounds like I dont:D
 
Not quite the same thing... but I have a gorgeous non-horsy OH (for 8 years) and used to be desperate to marry him.... then I bought a foal and thought 'oo - good job we aren't married or he could have told me I couldnt have one'.. I havent mentioned the M word since!! (We are still happily unmarried) :)
 
Me and the hub both have hobbies, horses, music and football, and are happy for each other to go off and play horses or footy for hours, we support each other if it matters like shows, we chat about our time afterwards and discuss what we did, i pretend to be excited about football and he pretends to think all my anecdotes are adorable but really we are just happy we are happy and love spending time together. I think it works if you both are interested in things outside your relationship, whether that's the same thing or different, i notice people without interests don't tend to last.
 
My most amazing OH has just gone out to feed and bring in my boys for me, yesterday evening he poo picked the field because he thought it looked like it needed it, he doesn't ride and when I met him he was living in a flat in London!

A good relationship will weather anything, a poor one will have the cracks highlighed by the smallest thing.
 
i don't think horses cause divorces/relationship breakdowns but i think they get used as an excuse because it's an "easy option" rather than the man/woman admittiing they don't want to stay in that relationship. the partner blaming the horse knows that the horse person won't let the horse go over them (if they are genuine with horses) so say that knowing the other person will say fine if that's how you feel then go. easy ending for them. if that makes sense!
 
LynH said:
If a man is disgruntled or controlling enough to make his wife/partner choose between him or the horse or moans to the point it breaks down the marriage it is his personality at fault not the fact that horses are involved. It really isn't about horses at all it's about lack of respect for his partner or insecurity, control or whatever is preventing him from entertaining himself whilst his partner is busy. There must be something else fundamentally wrong with the relationship or the person if they cannot cope with their wife/partner having a hobby of their own. There has to be give and take on both sides but never all or nothing.
I dislike my OH having a motorbike after his two accidents but I would never dream of saying that to him nor would I ask him to stop and I'll happily go along with him shopping for a new one as it makes him happy. That said I won't go on it with him but equally I'd never expect him to get on one of my horses.
Click to expand...
This My OH knows the horses are an essential part of my life and would never ask me to chose He supports me them does most of the housework and was great with the kids too I couldnt and wouldnt have had anything to do with any man who would try and control my life. We are a partnership we respect each others hobbies and thoughts. Compromise doesnt need to mean both parties are miserable just that each has to think and care about what matters to the other. OH is a car fan I hate cars but follow his dreams with them He helps with the horses and now actually seems to love them as much as I do We have survived 37 years of marriage in spite of being like chalk and cheese
He is the only wage earner now and he pays for everything I do try very hard to make sure they cost the least possible without compromising their welfare though, it can take ingenuity sometimes
 
Last edited:
Absolutely my oh has resented horses the whole marriage in marriage counselling it was main topic and now divorcing I will email you - but some men just accept their oh interests.

My oh in particular resents paying the mortgage on the horse property at $60 k a year.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top