Do I give him up? Please HELP!

[chelsearoper91]

I have had my loan horse now for 4 years and I'm considering giving him up. I absolutely love him to pieces and thought of not having him makes me cry but is it maybe for the best?
He has trailer issues and is not consistent with loading, it's something we've worked on for a number of years and have never managed to get him consistent with it. It's not a matter of being scared, he is just stubborn and has always had a problem with, even before I had him.
We also have trouble at shows, we have only competed at local level but he just doesn't settle gets very stressed about the situation if it's busy. It's so frustrating because he will do whatever I ask of him at home but just doesn't perform once I take him out, and then there's always the worry of him not loading to come home.
He is a bit 'riggy' and doesn't like horses coming close to him, I have had problems with him kicking, and has attacked horses before I got him.

I don't really know what else to do now, after 4 years and all this effort I'm not getting much return and at 12 years old now, is he ever going to change? It's so hard for me because I love him so much. but I'm trying to look at sensibly. I would love to be able to go and compete and not have to worry about him kicking/not loading etc.
It's even harder now as this week a horse in his field was kicked; there's no way of telling who did it for sure, but it was more than likely my horse and it's resulted in the horse having to be put down after finding it had a fractured stifle.
Please help, what shall I do? x

 

[appylass]

If it was me I would probably give him back to his owners. There are things you could try to make him less riggy but it sounds like that is not the only problem! Horses cost a fortune to keep and most of us make huge sacrifices to keep them. If he isn't making you happy and his behaviour is stopping you doing what you want to do I'd say you'd be best sending him back and looking for another, more suitable, horse

 

[LaurenM]

Only you can answer that question.

What would you do alternatively? Loan another horse that will box and not be stressy?

Whatever you decide, I think its fair to say you've given it your best shot so shouldn't feel guilty. I was in the same situation a few months ago except I'm the owner. My horse had become dangerous (napping on roads and had little/no breaks). I bought a new horse and she's given me my confidence back. Still have the gelding and put him on global herbs calmer - he's a completely different horse as a result.

I knew when I'd had enough and that I needed to accept him as naturally being a nervy horse (no doubt as a result of human error). It's a very hard decision but at least you won't have the added stress of having to advertise him for sale.

Give yourself a few weeks and maybe speak to his owner.