loopeepee
Well-Known Member
Right, I've had my horse a month now. But reality is beginning to dawn on me, and I no longer know what to do. I am a student, on my gap year, and Im going to Argentina in February for 10 weeks. I am having to finace a large portion of this - the other part a sponsor is kindly paying.
Now please dont think of me as someone who has taken on a horse without thinking of the consequences. I have had horses in the past, and managed to pay for them by myself - this was the only condition that I was allowed to keep them. I do not get an allowance - I have always worked hard and managed.
However, my conscience (and mother!) is beginning to kick in.
I have 2 major jobs at the moment, plus hostessing work for Toyota (like I'm doing tomorrow), grooming work and also babysitting. Therefore I do bring in the money, but as we all know . . horses are bottomless pitts.
I have also just been accepted at University, and therefore need to earn as much as possible because my living expenses etc will be financed my myself. I know I will be able to work when I get back from Argentina - however, every little helps.
At the moment, my mum - thank you so much mum - is paying the £20 p/w DIY livery, plus one bale of shavings, but everything is else is paid for by myself. Luckily, his owner is an instructor in our local PC, and therefore gives me lesson. About once a week tops. Im very greatful of this, as it means I dont have to pay someone else, and she likes watching someone else ride her horse.
But there's the thing, I CANT ride him. He is the heaviest horse I have ever ridden. And I've ridden him wrong - something of which I am totally ashamed about and have felt like crawling into a hole over - and have split his mouth. He ahs pulled, and I have pulled - something I will never, ever do again. Luckily that is healing fine, and he seems fine in himself. But it is still something I am heartbroken about as I would never mean to hurt a horse ever - they mean too much to me, and having him of loan I thought would be the best thing ever. I have had such a long break, and the prospect of 'playing' means the world to me. I adore going up, seeing him in the morning, mucking out etc. I have waited so long and cherish every minute - I know how corney that sounds, but is really is the truth.
He is so heavy, and so set in his ways (he's 13). The word ignorant describes him perfectly. If he doesnt want to do something, he will damn well make sure he wont do it. And that is one thing I cant abide in a horse. He is not a small horse, and at 16.1 / 16.2 he carries a lot of weight and muscle bulk. I really am not wanting to have that 'mess' with me. Now, again, please dont get the impression I am bulshy or nasty with my horses, Im not at all - but they have to have manners, otherwise things could easily get dangerous.
He has done plenty of schooling in the past, and whilst under instruction, have had him go nicely. But still that heavy on the left rein. I've tried dropping the rein and letting him find his balance - he falls out and couldnt care less if his balance was topot! I've tried softening the rein and riding from leg leg to outside hand. This should work in theory, but leg = speed, and hand = stop. He hunted all last season, and owner feels he wants to rely on the martingale (which isnt there now!), and just wants to hunt again.
I have been doing lots of transitions whilst riding. Lots of walk to halt every session, then trot to walk to halt again. He was very good for 5 mins, and the rest of the time is just not fun at all. Now I know when I took him on, I was not in for an easy ride - this would be the same for all horses. But everytime I am riding him, I get the feeling that what Im doing is wrong, and we are going nowhere. Yes, 4 weeks is a short time to see any changes, but I have got an idea of what everything is going to progress too. Because of this issue with the heavyness - which I believe has a large part based in balance issues - he is going to be bloody strong hunting, which is what I got him for.
I just really want to have fun, which is what I do have when I am on the ground 'messing' around, but riding is a different ball game. A man hunted him . . in a pelham, and still found him strong. This is making me think: 'What hope have I got!?'
This has progressed on to me telling you what he is like to ride - but I have had to say this in order for you to get an idea of my predicament. I was told in the beginning that if it wasnt to work out, then he can go to his owner (that is where he would be going back too in Feb - not where I got him from (the guy that hunted him!) )
I just don't know what to do. I am beginning to feel like my efforts are not going to be rewarded. I adore having a horse again, I really do, but I just dont know whether to keep him. I dont want to give up, and I dont want to let anyone down - especially Frankie, but I'm beginning to wonder whether he would get more out of someone else riding him, rather than me. And maybe I would get more out of staying on the ground grooming, which although I love, is bitter sweet because I want to be able to ride as well.
One confused and muddled Illus of the South, in need of some advice. Please tell me what you think - but please be gentle. I'm a soppy cow, and dont like it when people thing wrong of me.
Now please dont think of me as someone who has taken on a horse without thinking of the consequences. I have had horses in the past, and managed to pay for them by myself - this was the only condition that I was allowed to keep them. I do not get an allowance - I have always worked hard and managed.
However, my conscience (and mother!) is beginning to kick in.
I have 2 major jobs at the moment, plus hostessing work for Toyota (like I'm doing tomorrow), grooming work and also babysitting. Therefore I do bring in the money, but as we all know . . horses are bottomless pitts.
I have also just been accepted at University, and therefore need to earn as much as possible because my living expenses etc will be financed my myself. I know I will be able to work when I get back from Argentina - however, every little helps.
At the moment, my mum - thank you so much mum - is paying the £20 p/w DIY livery, plus one bale of shavings, but everything is else is paid for by myself. Luckily, his owner is an instructor in our local PC, and therefore gives me lesson. About once a week tops. Im very greatful of this, as it means I dont have to pay someone else, and she likes watching someone else ride her horse.
But there's the thing, I CANT ride him. He is the heaviest horse I have ever ridden. And I've ridden him wrong - something of which I am totally ashamed about and have felt like crawling into a hole over - and have split his mouth. He ahs pulled, and I have pulled - something I will never, ever do again. Luckily that is healing fine, and he seems fine in himself. But it is still something I am heartbroken about as I would never mean to hurt a horse ever - they mean too much to me, and having him of loan I thought would be the best thing ever. I have had such a long break, and the prospect of 'playing' means the world to me. I adore going up, seeing him in the morning, mucking out etc. I have waited so long and cherish every minute - I know how corney that sounds, but is really is the truth.
He is so heavy, and so set in his ways (he's 13). The word ignorant describes him perfectly. If he doesnt want to do something, he will damn well make sure he wont do it. And that is one thing I cant abide in a horse. He is not a small horse, and at 16.1 / 16.2 he carries a lot of weight and muscle bulk. I really am not wanting to have that 'mess' with me. Now, again, please dont get the impression I am bulshy or nasty with my horses, Im not at all - but they have to have manners, otherwise things could easily get dangerous.
He has done plenty of schooling in the past, and whilst under instruction, have had him go nicely. But still that heavy on the left rein. I've tried dropping the rein and letting him find his balance - he falls out and couldnt care less if his balance was topot! I've tried softening the rein and riding from leg leg to outside hand. This should work in theory, but leg = speed, and hand = stop. He hunted all last season, and owner feels he wants to rely on the martingale (which isnt there now!), and just wants to hunt again.
I have been doing lots of transitions whilst riding. Lots of walk to halt every session, then trot to walk to halt again. He was very good for 5 mins, and the rest of the time is just not fun at all. Now I know when I took him on, I was not in for an easy ride - this would be the same for all horses. But everytime I am riding him, I get the feeling that what Im doing is wrong, and we are going nowhere. Yes, 4 weeks is a short time to see any changes, but I have got an idea of what everything is going to progress too. Because of this issue with the heavyness - which I believe has a large part based in balance issues - he is going to be bloody strong hunting, which is what I got him for.
I just really want to have fun, which is what I do have when I am on the ground 'messing' around, but riding is a different ball game. A man hunted him . . in a pelham, and still found him strong. This is making me think: 'What hope have I got!?'
This has progressed on to me telling you what he is like to ride - but I have had to say this in order for you to get an idea of my predicament. I was told in the beginning that if it wasnt to work out, then he can go to his owner (that is where he would be going back too in Feb - not where I got him from (the guy that hunted him!) )
I just don't know what to do. I am beginning to feel like my efforts are not going to be rewarded. I adore having a horse again, I really do, but I just dont know whether to keep him. I dont want to give up, and I dont want to let anyone down - especially Frankie, but I'm beginning to wonder whether he would get more out of someone else riding him, rather than me. And maybe I would get more out of staying on the ground grooming, which although I love, is bitter sweet because I want to be able to ride as well.
One confused and muddled Illus of the South, in need of some advice. Please tell me what you think - but please be gentle. I'm a soppy cow, and dont like it when people thing wrong of me.
