Do you ever doubt yourself?

[RubysGold]

I really really want to be a behaviourist. I've started booking seminars and short courses. And will find other things to go to as well.

I know I've got quite a lot to learn and I'm willing to put the effort in

Sometimes I just doubt myself, doubt whether I'll ever know enough or have the confidence to go ahead with it. I just need a kick up the bum sometimes.
But wondered if any of you are like that?

 

[Pix]

Yup!

I lost interest in a levels etc. and took myself off to study sound engineering at college and then later, uni. Everybody told me a was foolish, that I was very academic and should stick with academic study, that it was just a rebellious phase I was going through. I thought they were short sighted and didn't understand how much I loved what I was doing. I flew through 2 years of music tech at college (possibly the best two years I've had), went on to study audio engineering and systems design at a decent uni..... And then dropped out in my first year due to illness. I never went back and I realised that the odd bit of freelance work I didn't want to do anymore..... like a lot of creative things, great hobby, horrible work. Turns out all those damn old people were right.

I then doubted I would ever get a decent job, or if I would be better off going back to uni and doing a different subject.

Then I got a decent job and after a few years came to the conclusion I'd rather be a mad bag lady than carry on with the work that I was doing.

So I went back to uni and am now in my second year, and wonder every day if I am doing the right thing. I have days where I can't get motivated by the work, days when I can't see what career I want to carve from what I'm doing. Then the endless sitting out on conversations with my peers cause I just don't have that much in common with a 19 year old. Not to mention the horror of having to market yourself for volunteering etc. And the lack of a regular salary!

Having been terribly wrong before, I'm pretty convinced I can't possibly achieve anything now, and am doomed for failure in all that I attempt. And don't get me started on the number of times I've looked at Loki and thought 'I don't remember the other pups we had growing up doing that.... OH GOD I'M FAILING YOU! I AM NOT EQUIPPED FOR THE RESPONSIBILITY OF DOG OWNERSHIP!'

So no, not just you And if you want to be a behaviourist then you damn well be a behaviourist. And if in 5 years time it isn't working out and you want to be a trapeze artist, then you damn well be a trapeze artist! It's your god given right as a human being to change your mind and get things wrong. Just as it's your god given right to do what you really want to do.