Do you ever stop missing them?

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Shay

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I find myself in floods again tonight (after watching Rolf's Animal Clinic) over my little Welsh Sec A I lost nearly 10 weeks ago to Colic. I have 2 other horses. I have to say I really miss being the owner of 3.

The only other horse I have lost was my first pony who was shot on the hunting field 3 weeks after I was sent to boarding school having fallen badly at a stile. The horse - not me. (You don't want to know how many years ago that was!) But I was in boarding school and there were a whole load of other things bound up with his loss. Anything else was sold on rather than dying in my care.

I miss every horse I have ever owned in a sort of quiet way. But Dash's loss is still rawly a part of me. But if he had to die it was a good death. The vet was great, he died quiet and pain free with his head in my daughter's lap.

I know it must ease at some point. And I love my two remaining boys to bits.

But I do wonder how long before I stop dissolving into a soggy heap at the least thing.

Sorry - self indulgent, if soggy, post.
 
Sorry to hear you lost your pony recently :( I lost my TB mare years ago and still get upset when thinking about the day she was PTS. It does get easier though and I have lovely memories of our time together. :)
 
I am so very sorry to read this. It is so very hard when you loose such a special friend and such a big part of your life. My last chap I had for 27 years and it will be 12 years Jan next year. It does get easier, but they are always there and sometimes I will read something or see something, or even look at his pictures and I will burst into floods of tears. It is still very early days for you and everything is still so very raw, but one day your tears of sorrow will turn to tears of laughter as you remember all the fun times you had. It does not seem like it know but trust me it will come, just give it time. My heart goes out to you at this very hard time. Take care x
 
so sorry to hear about your loss. I know what you're giving through as lost my 27 year old boy suddenly to colic last summer. I still cry over him now occasionally, sometimes sat at my desk at work!! but it's good to get it out a
 
I lost my boy just over a year ago. It does get easier and eventually you will be able to talk about them without crying but I still have moments, generally when I'm on my own when I really miss him. It will get easier but it's not long since you lost him - give yourself time. x
 
Simply no... Not a day goes by I don't think of my lovely boy. Tomorrow is the day he came home exactly 2 years ago, one of the best days of my life. He's left a big hole when he left but he was loved dearly and he knew it.

Sorry for your loss, I understand your pain and send you big hugs xxx
 
No, of course you don't. You may well get another but you will never forget the one you lost. The others help you to get on with life but they never fill the gap left.
Sis and I lost our first horse over 30 yrs ago and we still talk about him, even though we have had a dozen others since then.
 
The other day I was mooching about in a daydream, and thought how well my mare was looking in the field. Then it dawned on me that it was her fieldmate I was looking at (identical from a distance). The realisation that she was gone was awful - she was PTS in April. Her fieldmate misses her too, I know she does. M
 
No, but you do learn to cope. I lost a special mare last year after 18 years. Fortunately I have her 3 year old son but he is the last of my breeding line now going back 26 years. I still mourn the loss of a very special colt foal who was my mare's brother, and I lost him in 1994.

At least, as you said, it was quiet and peaceful, and that is all you can wish for in these awful circumstances. X
 
No, of course you don't. You may well get another but you will never forget the one you lost. The others help you to get on with life but they never fill the gap left.

Exactly this

Sorry to hear about ur pony

It get less "raw" but never less painful. I can't let myself think about my mare too much so I don't feel I'm truly over it, don't think I ever will be and not a day goes by when I don't think about her. Time will help heal ur broken heart..x
 
I too lost my boy to colic nearly 5 weeks ago, the day after I thought my heart would break. I still have 3 and love them to bits but I dearly miss my little chap. Each day has got easier and I had so many kind words from this forum and that helped. I dont think we ever get over missing them ( I still think about my first pony that was struck by lightening over 30 years ago). As time passes the pain lessens but I dont think I will ever stop missing him.
 
I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your boy, I think it is far more traumatic when it is an unplanned passing, you tend to dwell on the 'what ifs'. I have lost several horses, in planned and unplanned circumstances and I think of them all.

As everyone else said you don't stop missing them but it does become less raw, and that hole in the gut feeling lessens.

If you miss having three perhaps consider getting another, there is nothing wrong with that, maybe one that really needs a home, s/he would never be a replacement but it would maybe help you move on.
 
No you never stop. You just learn to move on and cope, but the loss is always there. My mare had to be PTS a year and nearly 9 months ago and it broke me. Now I am a lot happier than I was, I have had my new boy for a year now and I no longer feel that crushing weight of grief all the time, just occassionally. I still get set off by things and it makes me sad how long its been since I've seen her, but it does get easier.
Having said that whenever Stop Crying Your Heart Out comes on I have to leave the room, it sends me into a hysterical crying fit :o
 
Yes you do stop missing them, or I do anyway. My horse of a lifetime died many years ago and although it was so hard for the first 10 years or so to stop myself getting upset when I thought of her as I missed her so much, but as the years rolled on I started finding that I no longer did miss her anymore. I think of her with great fondness nowadays, she WAS the love of my life, but I do not miss her anymore because I know life ran its course and she was a very big part of my life but she's not really gone, something, somewhere and some part of her is still very much with me ... just no longer in a sad way.
 
I'm so sorry you are having to feel so sad. I too lost the best horse I have ever owned on July 4th this year. I am in floods of tears now, feeling your pain and mine, having watched Rolf Harris tonight. I was only saying to myself the other day that I had gone a couple of weeks without crying about her. The best thing I found to do was to drag out all the photos of her and look through them with my 18 year old daughter (whose pony she really was!). We laughed and cried and I realised I was in danger of turning Spice into Saint Spice and that, really, although she was my comfort blanket go-anywhere do-anything pony, she could also be a bit of a pickle at times, so we had another giggle about that and that helped put things into perspective a bit!

I never want to replace her and will always compare other horses to her paragon ways, but I knew I needed to have a new focus and so on the rebound I bought a foal version of her, and he is helping me to smile again.

Aren't we lucky that we had wonderful horses to share a bit of our lives with? And that we never had to see them grow old and lame and see them suffer? Never worry about the crying - it is a healthy way of expressing grief and you will find that in time you will cry less often and still care as much. Big hugs to you.
 
No you dont,even going on 30 years, they are always with you and sometimes something happens and it bring happy memories back, like a new horse doing the same as your old one. Sometimes I'm in tears of laughter, sometimes in pain, and the I always dream of my old horses not the ones I have now.
 
No I don't think you ever do......

I lost my first horse well over 25 years ago and to this day I still cannot walk past the barn where we waited patiently for our lift home after his last days hunting without getting tearful - he was PTS 2 days later.
 
My horse was PTS 2 years ago. I still have a quiet cry over the photos of us. I'm at uni and don' have any horsey friends who'll get it either.

I miss him pretty much every single day. It's not getting any less, but it's manageable now.
 
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