Do you think its wise that she's thinking of this...?

[PinkFairy]

TBH i think my friend is making a mistake. She is paying her own way through college (costing over £3,000) and thats not including the things she buys such as food and drink etc. She (being honest) hasn't really got much idea about horse managemnt she has already asked me what the difference is between geldings and stallions and why theres 3 sexes of horses when theres only male and female horses. I'm not saying she is dumb, but she wants to now buy a horse that is for sale at £2,500 a 16hh TB mare. I've spoken to YO and instructors and they say the horse is NOT a first time horse, she would not be suitable as a 1st horse so I explained to my friend about this and she hit the roof saying she could do what she wants. She then said she is thinking about buying the mare herself and paying for it all by herself as well as paying for college and the horse's upkeep which is £40 a week and her college fee is already £95 a week! she doesnt work outside of college and she doesnt want to involve her parents in paying for the horse. Should i speak to a member of staff??? is she doing the right thing as i feel she really isnt - she has a hard time keeping on top of work as it is!

 

[spaniel]

You can only give your opinion which you have obviously done. And no, I wouldnt interfere and call in tutors, this really is her business and nobody elses no matter how foolish it may seem to you.

Sometimes we need to make out own mistakes to see to learn lessons in life.

 

[Forget_Me_Not]

The more you say she isnt capable the more she'll want this mare to prove you wrong. Have you tried finding and showing her more suitable horses, shares or maybe loans so that when/if she relises it isnt working she can give him back? What level course is she doing at college?

 

[beh]

You have tried talking to her which is all you can do, if she doesnt want to listen then thats her fault and she will have to find out the hard way that she made the wrong choice (though who knows it might work out?)

Well done for trying though
XJX

 

[Skiddaire]

leave her alone and let her make her own mistakes. when she 'gets bucked off' or has a serious accident with the horse, she'll realise you were trying to help her. as for the money issue, again leave her to make her own mistakes.

as bitchy as it sounds, its the best way for people with an attitude like that to learn from their mistakes. in time, she'll realise you were only trying to help her out.

 

[GTs]

I would just leave her - it does amaze me that college/Uni kids spend money on what they do. My roomie shops at Abercrombie, and what not while in College - me I spend my money on tutoring and books!

 

[anniedoherty]

I don't think you can tell anyone what to do or not to do as they will usually do what they want anyway. The only way you can make people listen to your opinion is if they have asked for it in the first place because they respect your expertise on the subject or if you have some power and influence over them e.g. if you are a parent of a child who wants an unsuitable pony.

In your friend's case I assume that she hasn't asked you if she should get the horse? If that is the case then I am pretty sure that she will just go ahead and do whatever she wants. It certainly sounds as if she is about to make a big mistake but, if it does all go wrong for her, maybe she will learn a lesson from her experience?

It is good of you to try to stop her but I don't think that you will be able to and I think she would get very resentful and even more determined to go ahead if you involved her tutors.

One of my friends was talking about getting a horse just because it looked flashy and I thought she would be making a huge mistake due to her level of experience but I bit my tongue and it worked out fine because she came to her senses after she'd been to see it and realised that it wasn't suitable for her!

 

[PinkFairy]

i've introduced her to loans etc and i asked why she wanted to buy the horse and she said "I JUST WANT A HORSE!!" and i asked if there was any reason she said no just want to own it

 

[Forget_Me_Not]

oh well i have it.... God im clever.... A Shetland.. Come on she wont not be able to fall for one!! Easier to keep, cant ruin them that easy, dont cost minging amounts and she can own it... Man im good.

 

[Skiddaire]

^ or possibly a fallabella

 

[PinkFairy]

lmao i just think she should learn to walk before she attempts to run if you get my meaning? she could save herself hurt etc and MONEY if she was a little more sensible. Then again, i too have got carried away and wanted to do the same but i've always reconsidered.

 

[Toby_Zaphod]

What we think is immaterial really. You've pointed out the problems to her & she won't listen...now leave it. As other people have said, just let her hake her own mistakes. She'll end up with a horse that she can't ride because it will take advantage of her. There is a high possibility she will get injured. It will depreciate in value due to lack of schooling & as a student it is unlikely that without a job or parental assistance that she will be able to pay for its keep.

This is a recipe for a disaster but it will be her disaster, you've done as much as you can.