do you think my horse maybe grieving??

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horsedreams

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ok maybe quite long so apologies to begin with and it will probably not read in some parts sensible as trying to keep breif but to a point of what i'm trying to ask -- (oh god i'm rambling already!)

owned horses all my life ,different breeds and sizes but know there is always something new to learn about them

my question is as in title and need some advice if anyone as ever found this with their horses or similar

the last eighteen months have been a rollercoaster with one thing or another
if you have read some of my previous posts

i lost a very sick horse to colic feb 2010

my 15hh intermediate had been on lease and came back with all sorts of problems (still going on) from oct 2010

then to cap it all i lost my 19yr old connie to a strangulation colic in April this year

the horse i'm having the problem with now is a TB ex racehorse had her 2 years and she as been a dream up until a few weeks ago (she was the connies feild companion )

as never refused to walk on wagon up until at a show the other week she would not go on point blank --eventually got her on after 2 hours of messing --once on she does not panic just stands and eats her net --never had a travel issue

started to nap if asked to go away from yard on her own for a hack she will spin, buck and rear anything to get back to the others again never done this before

went to show last sunday --again would not load striaght away to set off
30 mins this time once on fine --arrived calm no sweat very relaxed
perfect manners in class of over 30 all going round together --no hassle at all

got back to wagon --would not go on if fact she was so wound up about going on she reared and tipped herself over--ouch

moved wagon to road where there was less going on around after another 30 mins walked on with long lines and pressure halter

again good to travel home no panic--vet straight out to see her just in case

she has been very lucky to have not done some damage to herself no lameness just a small swelling on wither area --(will be xrayed when swelling comes down for peace of mind)

now she is on box rest with my intermediate but they are not next to each other though they can see each other--when other horses go out in feild she creates and winds herself up to the point of sweating up and barging the door so now put intermediate next to her while others are out and she is all calm again as though nothing is wrong

bloods have been done for almost everything i could think of --all clear

how do i go about rebuilding her confidence again that all is ok to go out alone and to leave the others before her fall last sunday i started ground work with her --taking little walks away from yard though she was not happy one little bit but i thought the more i can get her away again on her own the better she'll become or do i leave her to her own timings??

is this greif or anxiety ??

all suggestions very welcome or related stories you yourselves have been through and how you coped with as i don't want to give up on her
thankyou
 
Aw, sounds like you and yours have been having an awful time. Luv & hugs.

I do believe that horses grieve; my old boy had to be PTS six years ago. In the January of that year he lost his long-time pair bond. He'd had laminities/Cushings for a while before that, but had coped OK'ish, but after his pair-bond had to be PTS, he just moped around the place, it was so awful to see him.

We had two Arab horses as liveries at the time, and turned them all out together. In my ignorance I thought that any horse(s) were better than nothing, but it was in hindsight probably the worst thing to have done coz these two Arab's were unbroken youngsters and my old boy was 21, and it was the classic situation of two young tearaways and an old man who wanted a quieter life. It just didn't work really, and all it did I think was to make him miss his friend all the more.

We had my boy PTS in the June of the same year; bless him. But it certainly made me much more aware of how horses do grieve for their pair-bond and how careful one has to be in putting another horse in with them again. It really is a very delicate balance.

I think with your situation, your horse is definately grieving - their world turns upside down when they lose a companion and they go through a profound grief process. Dogs too.

So yes, I think this is the problem with yours. All you can do, I would suggest, for now, is to reaffirm the bond between you and the horse. Personally I'd concentrate on groundwork and re-establish the herd order on a one-to-one basis without introducing too many challenges like outings, shows or whatever, just for now, and see how things go for a while.
 
I personally would get a reiki practitioner out to your horse. They are often very in tune with the horse and will pick up emotions and reiki is a very gentle energy therapy enjoyed by many horses, which can be very therapeutic. My mare loves it and relaxes so well. It may help with anxiety and emotions and wouldn't be terribly expensive.
I use aromatherapy oils for my horses and Rose is good for grief and lavender for relaxation and calm. You can offer the bottle in a cupped hand to the horse's nostrils to smell or drop some onto a cloth and offer it.
Just ideas which may help.
 
YasandCrystal said:
I personally would get a reiki practitioner out to your horse. They are often very in tune with the horse and will pick up emotions and reiki is a very gentle energy therapy enjoyed by many horses, which can be very therapeutic. My mare loves it and relaxes so well. It may help with anxiety and emotions and wouldn't be terribly expensive.
I use aromatherapy oils for my horses and Rose is good for grief and lavender for relaxation and calm. You can offer the bottle in a cupped hand to the horse's nostrils to smell or drop some onto a cloth and offer it.
Just ideas which may help.
Click to expand...

I seconnd this, Reiki helped me understand my horses on a whole new level. FWIW I am not shy of giving a horse or pony a good hiding if it warrants it, but in my experience there a very very few who do, and most are just stressed, worried or scared. There is another thing that my reiki lady used to do but I can't remember what she called it (but I will find out for you!).
I haven't tried aromatherapy but I do have a TB who is very sensitive to smells and he loves sniffing me.
 
When one of the liveries left with their horse, Miska (about 22 at the time) went downhill health wise. Until that point she was happy and healthy, shortly after she started having breathing problems. I think she just kinda gave up. She then palled up with another horse and she was happy again, but after he left she started getting lame and arthritus showed. She has never been particularly close to another horse since...she distances herself from the herd. Though she is happy.

Then I lost my youngster, Ettie last year and my mums horse, Ella, saw as we loaded her into the horsebox and she never came back. Since then Ella has been a different horse, she worries all the time and became really bad at loading. I am sure she was depressed.

Both horses are sensitive horses to begin with - tbs tend to be sensitive, so it sounds like it could be that your horse is grieving. It's a difficult one...

I am sorry I can't really suggest anything but I am sorry for your losses - I too lost two horses last year, it is such an awful think to go through and all that you try sometimes you can't keep your own feelings from your horse.

I hope things look up. x
 
horses do sense loss.
when an elderly horse at my yard was put to sleep in her stable her companion who was in the field never saw her body she whinnied and screamed until my mums old horse was put with her both horses settled together well.
when the other horse had to be pts they were both moved to a quiet paddock away from everyone else and after the vet had pts the elderly horse my mums horse was allowed to sniff her friends body after 10 Min's she'd understood and wandered off to eat grass they had been very clingy when together and we expected trouble with mums horse she looked for her friend for a few days but stayed calm.


I know you cant do this to help your horse but maybe a similar aged companion for her to graze with would be a good idea if poss stabled next door and turned out first then your horse would want to be with the companion.
 
thankyou all for your replies they are very helpful and i will be looking into the reiki --i am open minded on this and will try anything that will help

your replies have made me realise i'm not going mad thinking she is grieving
thinking back now my little connie was loaded on the horsebox to take to horsepital and never returned

when i tried to explain why i thought her behaviour had changed all of a sudden to people they looked at me as though i was trying to make excuses for her --(deep down i now realise i had answered my own question if that makes sense)

anyone got suggestions on a reiki healer in south cumbria who as a good reputation

thankyou all again
 
i dont know about your horses particular behaviour but i lost my pony mare aged 26 who i had owned for 21 years in september to a sudden and terrible colic (she was pts within 3 hours of symptoms starting as it was that horrific) and she had been my other mares companion for 16 years since my other mare was a yearling so the pony mare was very much an aunty figure in my other mares life. When my pony died my mare was very distressed for about a day and then very depressed for a couple of months only thing which kept her going really was her foal at foot then tragically in march the foal broke his back and had to be pts. This hit my mare very hard especially as the foal was not yet weaned. My mare was terribly upset for a couple of days then she settled then back to the depression. It is only really the last few weeks she has been a bit better with the depression but i have noticed she is quite flighty and spooky. I have been spending a bit of extra time with her fussing over her but she has just turned 18 and this is the first time in her life she has not had a close buddy to depend on and i think this is the cause of her being that bit on edge. It must be upsetting for them to lose a companion.
 
kickandshout said:
horses do sense loss.
... after the vet had pts the elderly horse my mums horse was allowed to sniff her friends body after 10 Min's she'd understood and wandered off to eat grass they had been very clingy when together and we expected trouble with mums horse she looked for her friend for a few days but stayed calm.
.
Click to expand...

We did this when I had my tb pts ... our young lad would call and become frantic when I turned him out every morning cause he went out first, I would walk back and get the tb (20 yrds! and about 20 other horses turned out around him!) he was sooo attached. He saw Cassi's body and tried to get him up (very upsetting at the time) he even bit him and pulled his ears! but afterwards not a peep from him and he never mourned as such. I know this doesn't help you on this occasion but it proved to me how much we (I) underestimate how much they take in from their surroundings.

Also one particular horse can mean the world to them, he hasn't bonded to my new horse in the same way...I don't know what this means, but I do believe that they have close friends and acquaintances the same as we do...
 
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