Don't know what to do for the best

[Hippophilia]

My OH and I are seriously considering re-homing one of our dogs and we are feeling very torn about it. She is a lab x staffy we have adopted from the local SPCA when she was 6 months, she is now 3. We also have a male lurcher who is 8 years old, and a 14 month old daughter. Spotty (the lab x) has always been a submissive and somewhat nervous dog, and she simply cannot get used to our daughter. We use baby gates to keep them separate as much as possible, both dogs are walked for over an hour a day and get lots of time in our large garden. We train them regularly and they are fed a very high quality diet. Unfortunately Spotty remains fearful and spends most of her time running away from our daughter and/or hiding under the kitchen table. In the past few days things seem to have been brought to a head and our lurcher is now attacking her when they are both placed away from where our daughter is (he is very dominant and took a while to accept her). The lurcher has no issues with the baby and as he doesn't move way from her constantly she has no desire to chase him like she does Spotty (we don't allow this but it is hard as the baby is so young)
This evening Spots snapped at our daughter. There was no harm done and the baby did'nt even notice but I know that a cornered and fearful dog is a bite waiting to happen. My head is telling me that the best thing to do is to find her a good home with no kids but emotionally it is so hard and I really feel like I have failed her. I never wanted to be one of those people who dump their dog when a baby comes along. I will never see her back in a shelter, and am even considering PTS if we cannot find a good forever home.
Am I doing the right thing? Should I try harder or is it just her temperament? I want to make the choice that is best for Spots, not my own feelings but I just don't know.

 

[vieshot]

I would also rehome as hard as it may be. It is not worth the risk and the dog sounds very stressed and unhappy in her current situation. I know how heartbroken I would be in that situation but your circumstances are genuine. Nobody can look down on you for having to make this decision.

 

[Sandstone1]

If you had her from a rescue centre its not up tp you to rehome her, you have to return her to the rescue centrte as you have only adopted her. its normalyy in the rehoming agreement that you must return the dog if you can no longer keep it.

 

[CorvusCorax]

I think it is your obligation to return her to the centre where you got her from.
I understand why you are considering rehoming her as she sounds unhappy and so do you.
Please do not feel like you have caused any of this, you have no idea of her history or what happened in the first six months of her life and you have no idea of her genetics, her fear or inability to deal with stress may come from dogs behind her as is often the case.

You may consider keeping her, in which case you will have to be very careful and diligent with doors, stair gates, crates, exercise, feeding regimes etc and keep both dogs and child under very strict control.

In the meantime you might consider a crate for Spotty in a quiet place so that she can escape there, not under the kitchen table, so your daughter cannot access her and your lurcher cannot attack her when she is stressed.

 

[Hippophilia]

Thanks all for your replies. We have made the decision to find her a new home, and we are firm that we will not take her back to the SPCA. In our city it basically operates as the local pound and is pretty dire. When we adopted her from them we felt very pressured to take her (''You have an hour to decide if you want her'' kind of pressure), they don't do home checks prior to adoption, there is no trial period and they have an endemic kennel cough problem. They also could tell us nothing about her history other than they thought she might have been picked up as a stray, no idea where in the city she was found even. I would not trust them to find the right home for her. As a last resort we may take her to the SPCA in a town nearby which is very diligent and well-run (we tried to find a dog to adopt from them but our lurcher did'nt get on with any of them...).
So thank you again for your kind and thoughtful replies, keep your fingers crossed for us and for Spots.

 

[Alec Swan]

With our world seemingly filled with unwanted dogs, and many that don't have such issues with life, I wonder at the chances of a successful rehoming. Doubtless you would explain to whoever took your dog on, about her problems, but my honest, if seemingly brutal answer is, that for the dog to be put through what will probably be, the torment of home change, and her future risk, would be both cruel and irresponsible. I'd suggest that the most humane course for the dog, would be that you send her off to heaven.

Dogs which are 3 years old, which have psychological or deeply placed behavioural issues, rarely if ever manage to put their problems completely behind them, and passing the problem on to a.n.other, and so keeping them alive, is only making us feel better about ourselves, and the responsible and caring path is often the hardest to follow.

I'm not being intentionally harsh with you, because you seem to have already faced the problem and its possible resolve, and now would seem to look for that option to be confirmed. Were you to put the poor creature down, I'd say that you were being responsible and realistic. It's your dog, and it's your choice.

Alec.