Dont know what to do...

[moodymare1987]

As most will know i sold my 14.2 and got a 16.2, well i dont feel like i have bonded with him at all, i dont really enjoy riding him either, well i mean hacking out as he is quite on the go if you get me and sometimes i just want to be able to ride out with out him blowing his brains, he is fine being schooled, i havent taken him to any competitions as he isnt ready,

But i dont feel like im getting anything out of him, to be honest i think im loosing my confidence, i think he is too good for me to be honest, and i feel like im holding him back, but maybe its a phase?? not sure but i keep thinking about selling him and giving up horses alltogether as he makes me feel like this or just selling him on, well owners always said they would have him back,

But do you think i should wait, i dont know what to do, any thoughts will be appreciated xxx

also im not a novice rider i am capable of quite a lot of things but i had high hopes with new horse to go xc, sj etc but i dont think i would have the guts to do it, xx

 

[spider]

How long have you had him? It can take a long time to get used to a new horse and for them to get used to you. Even my ploddy cobby pony gets quite lively hacking in winter so if he's not used to the surroundings....... Do you have lessons? Maybe you should give yourself a time limit, for example if you still don't feel you're getting on with him in six months.............

 

[moodymare1987]

I havent had him that long, since september, i have regular lessons on him, hes fab being schooled its when i try doing anything else with him, he also doesnt like being in the school when there are lots of horses in their, i dont mind that as they get in way, but i dont feel like i can have any fun on him, i just think i dont really know him yet, i can deal with the liveliness but he is quite sharp so a little bit different to your horse i might think.

My mare used to get quite lively in winter but i loved it, maybe its because im not used to him but i dont want to get to the point where i have no confidence left at all. I was never bothered about what my mare used to do, even if she was 16.2 i wouldnt care as i knew she wouldnt hurt me but i dont know him that well xx

 

[RunToEarth]

You are making decisions far too quickly. I bought Oshka in May 05, loved him for two monthes and then went though a phase where I hated him, I picked out all his bad points. I think we kind of grew together after a lot of hunting and me outweighing his bad points with all the many good ones he has. You have to spend a lot of time with your new one, I think my bond is still growing, im not quite there with him, but you arnt giving him time, took me about three monthes to realise the bond I have with Bertha took the 16 years of my life to get...

 

[moodymare1987]

Yes i agree thats what im thinking, but i dont enjoy doing anything on him, i hate having to ride, and i feel really guilty feeling like that, i do ride him though but i still dont feel any different, i have tried to bond with him, i know it takes a lot of time but i dont feel like i like him at all. im just bein nasty now x

 

[pottamus]

I think it is sad that you feel this way and yes, it does take some time to bond with your horse...I agree. When I got my boy it took months for him to settle enough for me to do much with him other than have hair raising rides all the time. The difference for me was that I always wanted my horse even when he was really difficult and caused me a lot of problems control wise. I never doubted I would keep him and work through these issues...even if I did line up the cat food tins on his stable door from time to time!
I believe that you probably need to give things more time, however, horses are too expensive and time consuming to not enjoy. Just bear that in mind...it is supposed to be fun! Even if you can't do everything straight away you have to feel that one day you will...or it is pointless. Please don't wait until you have lost your confidence altogether though.

 

[pottamus]

I mean't to add...what is it that your horse is doing out on hacks that is causing you to feel this way???

 

[moodymare1987]

Well if he sees a horse in front of him in the far distance he starts to bronc go mad jog trot to catch up, he doesnt like it if a horse canters behind him or next to him or trot even when he is in the same gait as them, if he sees dogs or people he has a paddy, i would work with him but its the point that im not sure hes the right horse for me in the first place,

In my opinion and a few friends have said they think i rushed into buying one as it left a hole in my life not having a horse, im just confused at the moment to be honest xx

 

[Jemayni]

I think Rosiie is right, you are still getting used to him. I have one extremely naughty pony who Ive had for 7 years, he would take every opportunity to deck me, particularly when I first brought him. Now I would never be parted from him, even though he can still be a swine.

I also own a somewhat push button (not because of any training he has recieved it is just his nature) 15.2, he does everything I could ever ask, I have owned him for three years; but I still feel I have a closer bond with the little pony, just because we know each other so well.

The other thing is you took quite a big leap in going from 14.2-16.2, it took me ages to adjust between my two, even though they are the same breed; you need to give the time to learn how to push his buttons, then you might get along better.

 

[moodymare1987]

Yes i know its a big leap from a 14,2 to a 16,2 but im way too tall for anything smaller, its not the height that bothers me, i jus in general dont like him, my pony was naughty and i cracked it with her and loved her to bits, but with him i dont want to so anything with him, i dont like to, and its not me being stubborn or selfish i just genuinely dont like anything, i have to ride on my own all the time as hes silly in company even if we walk all the way out hes silly, dont mind silliness but i dont like riding on my own all the time, its boring, xx

 

[amzy]

I had a horse that I didn't particularly enjoy riding as he scared me when hacking alone and I kept thinking that things would improve with time so I kept going for two years with him until he turned and bolted down the road one day and then I sold him. Best thing I ever did as me being nervous was doing him no favours and vice versa. I then bought an older quiet pony and we trusted each other from the first week! Riding is supposed to be fun and I wish I hadn't wasted those two years hoping things would improve and found it a chore to go riding.

 

[moodymare1987]

thats exactly how i feel, i know myself what im capable of, and i should be having fun, i dont expect to take him out anywhere yet, but i do not think i ever would as i dont trust him in slightest, i think i need to speak to a friend and get her advise she knows me well, and she has noticed i dont seem to be enjoying him so wel see xx