Euthanasia, be there while it happens?

[Spellbound13]

hey guys
sorry for the morbid subject, but my 11 year old new forrest has been a suffer of recurring laminitis for about 5 years now since he was poisoned and went into liver failour, anyway he is a very poorly boy, the bute seems to no longer give him relife and the spark in his eyes have gone he just seems very misserable.
I know its time to let go.
i was just wondering if anyone has been there with their horse at the end when they are euthanised, I think I would like to be but I know it will be very traumatic, any advice or experiences would be appreciated?
thank you

 

[Sanolly]

My YO's old TB was PTS in January following a suspected brain tumour. "D" and I were there for the actual 'deed' then D left me to deal with the collection. The old girl was PTS with the injection, if you wish I can give you a detailed account?

 

[Sanolly]

I'm heading off to bed now so will send you a detailed private message. If you feel it will upset you then feel free to just delete it. Big hugs to you hun, this is by far the worst part of owning any animal

 

[LittleWildOne]

Hi Spellbound13,
I am sorry to hear about the situation you are in and my thoughts are with you.
6 weeks ago, my 5 year old pony suddenly became very ill. I got a phone call at work on the Friday to tell me she had lost her foal and was very ill herself. That on its own was traumatic itself. I rushed home from work to be with her. My vet was with us for nearly 3 hours that night. He wasn't the "on call" vet that night, but gave me his personal mobile number to call him if I needed to. I stayed with her all night, sitting in the stable with her. During the night she improved then deteriorated on and off. At 7.30am the next morning, my vet came back out and was with us again for 2 1/2 hours. He referred her to the equine hospital. Despite being so ill, she loaded easily into a trailer. She had never been in a trailer before. At the equine hospital she underwent lots of tests and stood like an angel while the vets worked with her. She had come wild from the New Forest when I bought her as a 2 year old. She was put in a stable and put on an IV drip, and I left her there while the vets waited for blood test results. A short while later, the vet rang me with bad news. All of the tests pointed to Acute Grass Sickness. I asked the vet, "can I see her before she goes ?". With my sister and her partner, we went back to the equine hospital. She was lying down in a lovely shavings bed, she looked so comfortable. I went in beside her and sat there talking to her, stroking her and giving her a cuddle that she always loved to have. After a few minutes, I asked her to stand up and then led her round to "the box". She walked in there happily and again, I stood with her for a few minutes just talking to her, stroking and cuddling her. Then I looked at the vet and nodded. Due to H&S reasons at the hospital, I wasn't allowed to stand with her while the vet injected her. I stood at the door talking to her the whole time. I told her she was a good girl and that she could go back to her foal now. As she already had a catheter in her neck from the IV drip, she didn't feel anything as the vet injected the drugs into the catheter. The whole time, I carried on talking to her. She went down quickly but quietly, and I was able to go back in beside her once she was lying down. The vet told me to stay away from her legs, and that she might gasp. Any movement then would have been involuntary as her heart had stopped beating. I sat with her for a while, stroking her, talking to her and gave her a kiss on her face. Then my sister, her partner and I all hugged each other and cried, even the vet had tears in his eyes. Before I left her, knowing that I would never see her again, I cut off a lock of her mane.
I'm so glad that I stayed with her. During the whole time, she was calm and relaxed. She was happy and knew that the person she loved and trusted so much was there with her right to her very last breath. We had shared exactly 3 beautiful years together, and the best thing I ever did for her was to be there with her right to the very end. The following day, I took her foal's little body to the Pet Crematorium. It was like a funeral service, for both of them.
The whole time I was with her, from Friday evening to Saturday afternoon, I felt a stange calmness about the whole thing. None of the time I was with her felt traumatic in the slightest. Afterwards however, I cried for days, weeks. I had excellent support though from my friends and family to help in any way they could.
She will always have a place in my heart, my little wild pony, my beautiful Princess, and I miss her like crazy.
To help heal the pain of losing her and her foal, but never to replace her, I decided to look for a new pony straight away. It has only been only 6 weeks.
Tomorrow though, I'm off down to the New Forest for a few days. I have found my new pony. I'm going down there to meet her for the first time, to buy her, and she will be coming home on Thursday. It will be very emotional for me, but I'm doing it for my beautiful Princess who is now running free in heaven with her little colt foal. Forever Free, Forever Together, Forever Young. R.I.P. My Beautiful Angels XXX

 

[jroz]

I have been present for the euthanasia of both horses and smaller animals. I don't think I could NOT be there at the end, when they needed a familiar face the most. You have to do what's right for you though.

 

[EQUISCENE]

I have been there for both my oldies, one was injected the other shot. Suprisingly I found the injection method far more traumatic as first the horse was sedated and then injected where as the shooting was far quicker. I was not there for either collection.

 

[appylass]

I've been there for most of mine that have been PTS, and also some belonging to friends who chose to stay away. I do think it helps the animal, especially if the person putting them to sleep is unfamiliar. I consider my self fortunate to have been brought up on a farm seeing large animals euthanased since I was small so there is no fear of the unknown. It isn't the nicest experience but the sense of 'seeing it through to the end' is important to me and somehow I always feel relieved I did stay. I have seen both methods used and personally would choose shooting if possible. I don't feel that people who can't be there are wrong at all, it is a very personal choice and you should do exactly what feels right to you no matter what anyone says.

If you would like me to tell you exactly what happens I'm happy to do that. I think it really helps if you know what to expect.

I hope it goes smoothly and well done for putting your boy's needs before your own, he will thank you for that.

 

[misst]

I have been there twice. Both times heartbreaking as one was 8 and one was 12 and both much much loved.
For me I am very glad that I stayed. Both times PTS at their regular yard in their own field by a vet they knew. Both by injection.

Despite both my daughter and I crying buckets and buckets of tears it was very peaceful. We just sort of "leaked" tears but no loud crying or upset for the horses. I feel they knew we were there right to the end. It was not scary for them or us and we knew what had happened which helped us.

Both times they were heavily sedated and then the lethal injection was given. No struggling or frightening things at all. Just a peaceful collapse to the floor whilst we spoke and stroked them.
We then sat with them until the lorry came to take them away. My OH who was not so emotionally attatched dealt with that along with our lovely vet.

I am sorry that you have to make this hard decision but whilst it may be awful for you, it is wonderful for him to have such a brave owner. I wish you peace whatever you decide.

 

[MissTyc]

We just sort of "leaked" tears but no loud crying or upset for the horses.

I can relate to this. I too leak tears and will hold the horse until the end. When my old beloved was PTS I was asked to step away and I basically growled and dared them to try to make me step away *bit embarrassed in retrospect!* .... I hold them till they're gone and stay with them until they're picked up. I don't know why but I don't want anyone else there, touching and handling my dead horse and it reassures me to meet every person involved. Once the body is gone that's it for me. I don't ask for ashes, I don't think about what happens next, I just allow myself to finally sob.

 

[ruth83]

I have dealt with a number of horses being PTS, by both methods, as part of my job.
I would recommend that, even if you feel able to be present whilst your horse is PTS, you are not their when they are collected. Perhaps leave them as the lorry arrives. The collection CAN be very difficult. It is also easier for the collectors if you are not there.

If you wish to be there whilst the vet euthanases your horse try to make sure you understand what is going to happen - vets are usually happy to talk you through it. It is VERY normal for horses to appear to move and breathe after they have been PTS. These are normal, the horses heart will have stopped and they have no awareness/feeling of what is happening but certain body functions take longer to cease and muscle spasms are not uncommon.

****GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION WHICH MAY UPSET FOLLOWS****
I was present with a horse who was being shot for a combination of reasons. I won't go into the details of what happened when the horse was shot (if anyone really wants to know to help them make a decision on this then PM me) but the horse had been down for 2 or 3 minutes, it was obvious that a clean shot had been made and the horse was clearly dead, the vet had also done all the necessary checks to make sure the horse was gone. The vet and I were chatting and preparing a tarp to cover the horse until he could be collected when the horses body moved, this was a severe muscle spasm which happened in such a way that the body really looked like the horse was trying to get up - the front end came right up and almost 'sat up' whilst the back legs bent under the horse - then it stopped and went back to laying down. If you were not aware that this might happen and did not understand that the horse was completely dead at this point it could have been very disturbing and upsetting.
****GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION OVER*********

Well done for making the right decision for your horse. It will be difficult to make the right decision for you but think it through the best you can and don't feel guilty or bad for whichever decision you make.
If you want any further information just PM me.

 

[Tormenta]

I have always stayed at the end, be it with pets or ponies, I feel I owe it to them. I left before the body was taken away though, although I met the man who was collecting and he kindly waited until I had got in the car and gone home. I personally do not want to see that part of it. Can I also add that they sometimes expel air and have 'bowel movements' after they have gone so be prepared for that. My husband went back up later and cleared up where she had gone to sleep, I had no idea there was anything there until he told me some time later (It must have happened after we left and when they were about to move her).

I'm sorry you are facing this but be comforted in the fact you have given him care and love.

 

[Maesfen]

I'm always there with my animals at the end and for the whole process (shot) until they have left the yard or been buried in the case of dogs (injected). My animals, my responsibility so I must deal with it however unpleasant the thought but it's never stopped me being there for them and TBH, it's never unpleasant because it means their suffering is at an end.
I'm sorry for your boy, it's no age but he'll thank you for your compassion and you must cherish your memories of your time together.

ETA, MissTyc said it so much better than I did, that's exactly how I feel.

 

[NOISYGIRL]

I wasn't there when my pony was put to sleep few years back, I think I'd like to be there for the horse I have now, he is 32, its something you do think about.

I had the unfortunate task of being there when my friends pony was pts, she was a wreck, we'd gone to the field to get them and he wouldn't come, we walked down towards him and I told her not to come any further and to ring the vet, I just knew, his leg was hanging off from below the knee down, I had to support her and stay with him and keep him calm, which I did until the end, her husband had arrived by then and the vet it was horrific to see his leg but the actual pts was very calm and now having seen it I think I would want to stay with mine, he was injected as was my pony, as will my horse. I couldnt' stay if he was being shot, which I wouldn't do

 

[riding_high]

i've been present when other peoples horses have either been shot or injected and i could handle that however i couldn't be there for my own animals. i've been very lucky in that my OH has a hands on roll with all animals during their life and that he will be there for them at the end so they have a familiar face with them. also they think it's great as he is the one that spoils them rotten with treats unlike me who makes them work!
i don't think i could hold it together long enough to be there for my own and i also have to be aware that my kids would be around somewhere so would need to be sure they kept away.

 

[blazen ashe]

I had to have my 33 yr old mare put to sleep in Jan this yr and like you I knew the time had come ...I could see it in her eyes.Both me and my daughter were with her at the end and I am so pleased we were...she fell quite gracefully and with dignity...we stayed with her for a while afterwards,it was incredibly sad,we cried buckets and I still shed tears for her but it was not as bad as I was anticipating as I had heard so many bad thing about injections especially with old horses.
I did find having a shot of brandy helped me get thru the day.
I really feel for you having to go thru this but it's the last act of love you can do for your pony.

 

[joeanne]

Horses for courses....some people can do it, others can't.
I always have, I think its calming for them to have someone they know and trust with them at the end.

 

[BBH]

I haven't been present for my horses death as he dropped like a stone when I was away the weekend.

However for one of my dogs I did see him PTS and it was the most tranquil thing and I'm really glad I could hold it together for him at that time. The vet told me to talk to him as he slipped away and his heart just stopped. It all made it seem ' real' and I was able to deal with it a little easier ( I don't deal with death very well ).

Its such a personal choice though.

 

[StrawberryFish]

When my old boy was PTS the vet was very keen to emphasise to me that sometimes they fight it and they can rear up and get very stressed as the drug begins to work and she had to move me back to hold the end of the lead line too as my instinct was to hug his head as she injected him. I was very scared that he would be one of those that panicked but thank fully he didn't. I had to be there and found it very difficult to leave his body. However had he freaked out and his last moments been awful and stressful I think I would feel very differently and it would have upset me massively and for a very long time. I am so glad I was there and couldn't have left him for those final moments. I am very sentimental and he was buried with his girlfriends headcollar on and as many rossettes as I could fit on the headcollar.
(am crying now - it was 7 years ago now and it is still quite upsetting to think about, had his end not been as peaceful as it was I dread to think how I would be feeling right now)
Sorry if that was a bit garbled

 

[dibbin]

I wish I had been there for Dylan. I was in an exam when the decision was made and it would have been cruel to keep him alive until I got home. I took a lot of comfort from the fact that my YM was there for him until the end, when I couldn't be.

 

[hayinamanger]

I am always there with mine. I could never walk away from them and let someone else hold them.

I want the last voice they hear to be mine, talking quietly and giving them a carrot. I prefer to have them shot, it's instant, they're gone before they hit the ground.

 

[lily1]

I was there with both of my horses one was 24 and had terrible arthritis the other 17 months old and sinus cancer its heartbreaking but a personal decision. the older horse was put down at home and I held him till the end then went indoors while he was put on the lorry .....that bit is horrible to see but I did come out when he was on the lorry and kissed him goodbye. The young horse was at the vets and hadnt been home for 3 months so we said our goodbyes and he was pts in one of the paddocks.

 

[Spellbound13]

Hiya Everyone

thanks for sharing your stories with me.
I think I do want to be there at the end with him, he is a nerviouse horse as it is, esp with other strangers.
I think this subject should be spoken about more often afterall we arnt all lucky enough to prepare for it.


I dont really know how to use this thing yet ool, but if anyone could send me details that have said they would, then my email add is spelbound13@yahoo.co.uk

thank you Amy

 

[Spellbound13]

thank you for sharing your story.
i know it will have been difficult for you.
i think im lucky that i have had time to prepare xx

 

[Spellbound13]

aww bless, im in no doubts i will cry and cry and cry, but at the same time, it will be a liberating experience i think, as i cant stand seeing him in pain like he is now xx

 

[oscarwild]

I had my horse PTS in December after he deteriorated with pelvic problems.

I took him in that morning and he wouldnt eat his breakfast and really wasnt himself at all. The vet came out and we went off and discussed exactly what was going to happen and how long I was going to stay with him. We sedated him as he wasnt good with needles at the best of time. Once sedated a catheter was put in so it was better if he was a pain to get the anesthetic into him. But the poor boy stood like a lamb for the first time in his life. I then knew he was happy to go. Once the catheter was in I spend 5 mins with him saying my final good bye. When I was ready I walked him to where he was PTS but I went into YO house before he was injected. ( I wanted to be there but when the time came I couldnt be there) Once it was done I checked him out the window and the vet came in to see him. There was lots of tears and my OH was working away so my YO and liveries gave me the support I needed until my OH got home a few weeks later.
I wasnt there when he was taken away as I felt that was going to be the hardest thing.

But all I can say to you, is that you will know exactly whats right to do for you and your horse and nothing else matters. What ever you decide will be the right thing and dont let anyone tell you otherwise. But I do recommend that you arn't there when the body is taken away. Take care

 

[YasandCrystal]

My daughter's horse broke his hind leg above the hock at home. She was riding him and he started napping - something he had never done. Luckily a friend was teaching her and told her to dismount as my daughter looked scared (she was 13 and he was 16.2hh TB).
My friend literally sent him forward on the lunge and after 2 paces of walk and he collapsed like he had a heart attack and was heaving on his side and wouldn't get up.

I came up and prayed he wouldn't die there and then, thinking he had had a heart attack of course not realising he had broken his leg. He got up and the next hour and a half were the longest in my life. I was hysterical with the horror of his broken leg swinging (just above the hock)- it was surreal and he wouldn't stand still and careered around the paddock; the vet took forever to come. My poor daughter was distraught.
Sadly I couldn't stay for his euthanasing. It was just too much, too shocking and sad and his old farrier (my hubby is one but was miles away at the time) very kindly was there with him at the end.
I think I would definately bethere for a planned end; if I could be, but everyone is different and copes with grief in different ways.

 

[topclass]

5 years ago 6th July I had to have my 36 year old TB PTS he had a brain tumour and epilepsy I stayed in the field with him with my vet who had been my vets for almost 22 years the poor man was in tears as I said my final good bye as he lay down and fell asleep my old vet leaned down and have his eye lids a kisss and said good night old man we'll meet again. That in my opinion is the most precious thing anyone has ever done for my animals and I will never forget that. He personally sent me some flowers and called in on his day off to see me and we went and collected his ashes together and that although it was heart breaking and still is to an extent my vet was my best friend and the only person who could help me get throught it. For that Robin my old vet I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Unfortunatley Robin died a few years later so I always like to think that my old TB is with Robin so he is being well looked after.

God bless you both boys xx

 

[YasandCrystal]

5 years ago 6th July I had to have my 36 year old TB PTS he had a brain tumour and epilepsy I stayed in the field with him with my vet who had been my vets for almost 22 years the poor man was in tears as I said my final good bye as he lay down and fell asleep my old vet leaned down and have his eye lids a kisss and said good night old man we'll meet again. That in my opinion is the most precious thing anyone has ever done for my animals and I will never forget that. He personally sent me some flowers and called in on his day off to see me and we went and collected his ashes together and that although it was heart breaking and still is to an extent my vet was my best friend and the only person who could help me get throught it. For that Robin my old vet I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Unfortunatley Robin died a few years later so I always like to think that my old TB is with Robin so he is being well looked after.

God bless you both boys xx

That is so lovely. Vets really do care as do doctors.

 

[Spellbound13]

Im so glad to hear all these stories about peoples vets who really do go the extra mile. its very encouraging and humbling and reminds you that at the end of the day they are human xx

 

[buddylove]

I was with my old boy when he was PTS with colic caused by a strangulating lymphoma. He had the injection and went down calmly in his paddock. I stayed with him until all the movements stopped, talking to him, as I only felt he had really gone when he was still. Thankfully my darling dad dealt with the undignified bits, I went into the house and fell asleep, and when I woke up it was all over.
I always feel I should be there for my animals when they go, I feel I owe it to them.