Ever made to feel like you're a bad owner?

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starry94

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As title really. Being the youngest at my yard (even though im 19) and being a firt time horse owner, after loaning for years, often things are said that make me feel like a bad owner :(
 
I know what you mean, I used to feel like that on other yards - not being a first time owner or young but having returned to horses after a very long break! Dont let people get to you, I try to just get on with it my way, I ask questions/do research if I have things I am unsure of but most of all just enjoy your horse that I am sure you care for really well :)
 
lol, try taking the shoes off on a comp yard - wow you will be made to feel like a worse owner than james grey!!

It is easier said than done but just try to ignore it. Worth thinking back over helpful comments to see if they might have something. Narky stuff just let it bounce off you and enjoy your horse. Given time they will see that you know what you are doing and will leave off.
 
More often than not it's lack of confidence on there side, or trying to bump up their status on the yard or even sometimes to take the attention away from and issue about them. I really wouldn't worry about it, just be pleasant and do your own thing!
 
To look at it from the other side of course you should not let people make you feel so bad that you don't enjoy your horse.
But you can learn a lot by listening to others so don't automatically ignore advice just like in everything in life learn to chose who you listen to.
 
yes, unfortunalty on sat this happened to me. I went up to the yard, mucked out, groomed etc but decided that I just didnt want to ride (everyone has off days?!). Normally I would ride as soon as I have finished yard duties. I called in to see yo to tell her I would come up later and lunge or turnout in the school for an hour in the evening when everyone else was done. We dont have any field turnout at the min due to the very wet weather. Got told that was fine. Anyway got home and after having food I realised I had left my phone at the yard so nipped up to get it. Was very cross to find my horse loose in the school with no rugs on and 2 people riding around her. Turns out yo son and his friend thought it would be funny to see how she would react. Yo had given her approval and when I questioned her I got a lecture of how I wasnt going to do anything with her and she needed out at some point and how it was my fault for being a bad owner in the first place.

I can see there point of getting her out of the stable but she is MY horse and I had already stated my plans. More annoyed that she was covered from head to tow in wet sludge from the arena and had been out with no rug when she is fully clipped and it was frosty out.
 
jmb said:
yes, unfortunalty on sat this happened to me. I went up to the yard, mucked out, groomed etc but decided that I just didnt want to ride (everyone has off days?!). Normally I would ride as soon as I have finished yard duties. I called in to see yo to tell her I would come up later and lunge or turnout in the school for an hour in the evening when everyone else was done. We dont have any field turnout at the min due to the very wet weather. Got told that was fine. Anyway got home and after having food I realised I had left my phone at the yard so nipped up to get it. Was very cross to find my horse loose in the school with no rugs on and 2 people riding around her. Turns out yo son and his friend thought it would be funny to see how she would react. Yo had given her approval and when I questioned her I got a lecture of how I wasnt going to do anything with her and she needed out at some point and how it was my fault for being a bad owner in the first place.

I can see there point of getting her out of the stable but she is MY horse and I had already stated my plans. More annoyed that she was covered from head to tow in wet sludge from the arena and had been out with no rug when she is fully clipped and it was frosty out.
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Good god, I would have absolutly flipped!! Don't see that you planning to ride or not has the slightest thing to do with the yo! I'm sat here seething on your behalf lol!
 
Jmb I would have flipped if that was me and I would be leaving the yard! I presume your on DIY so don't see what it has to do with YO what your doing with your horse! Imagine if anyone had been hurt during that idoicity, who's fault would it be!?!? Or if your horse had been injured?? I am absolutely fuming for you!
 
Everyone feels like a 'bad' horse owner at some stage, because no one is perfect, we're not all vets, or farriers etc. IMO it is very important to be aware of our failings and shortcomings. The danger is in feeling you're infallible because THAT is when massive cockups and errors of judgement are made.
 
Horses are kept at home but have horses all around. Two tbs kept out one naked and the other in a m/w standard neck rug! I've had more than a few comments about how cold they must be...they have been invited to feel the ponies, and shock horror tb in rug had it taken off today as so sunny and he looks amazing and seeing him rolling and playing in the snow made me so happy! Can't wait to see their faces when they turn up later to see poor freezing pony rugless!! Said neighbour has two welsh D's that each have two rug strapped on in the sunshine :-(
 
Yes I was made to feel like a terrible owner on a daily basis at a livery/competition yard, people butting in all the time telling me what to do, making comments, pointing out every little mistake I made, saying I wasn't riding enough etc - I am a first-time horse owner too. It just got ridiculous, I hated going up and used to come home in tears, so I moved my horse to a couple of stables that I rent with a friend off a local farmer. 2 years on and - shock horror - my horse is still alive and well, has had no major illnesses or injuries, looks great and goes really well for me, much better than he did at the livery yard, and we have lots of FUN!!!!!

It's hard to be 'thick-skinned' - sometimes I could ignore it but in the end it wore me down. I say vote with your feet, find a nice quiet yard to keep your horse. It really helped me get to know my horse well. You could always go back to a livery yard if you wanted to in future. I feel after having my horse 4 years I really know him inside out, and I would be confident to move back to a bigger yard now, because I could justify my methods. Only if I REALLY REALLY had to though!!!
 
starry94 said:
As title really. Being the youngest at my yard (even though im 19) and being a firt time horse owner, after loaning for years, often things are said that make me feel like a bad owner :(
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Are they meaning to demean you or just trying to be helpful? If it's people being bitchy, I'd look for another yard.

However if you think they mean well:

I'd smile a lot, ask lots of questions and show how keen to learn you are, but get on with what you're doing and try not to let other people make you feel like this.

Other peoples' advice and suggestions can be extremely useful if you're not very experienced (and sometimes even if you are!) but remember the final decision always rests with you. You don't have to take the advice given, or give reasons why you haven't. That's the joy of having your own horse. :D

Time and your increasing knowledge will give you confidence, and it won't be long before you find you're no longer the youngest and least experienced, but are becoming an "old hand" at horse owning yourself!
 
I'd second maybe other people are trying to guide you?? perhaps they aren't doing a good job in putting it across but as a first time horse owner regardless of your age it is a good thing if people are giving you advise!

I've owned my horse for 8 years yet I still ask for advise/help and still accept help. However I must admit I do pick and choose what I listen to! There are so many different ways of doing things but I know my horse.

For instance today.... my horse is stabled :D because of the snow!!!:eek: he is happier in his stable, I'll lunge him twice daily but I will get comments from the other liveries. But I know if he was turned out after 10 mins he'd be kicking the gate to come back in or gallop up and down the field until someone comes to the gate.
 
jmb said:
yes, unfortunalty on sat this happened to me. I went up to the yard, mucked out, groomed etc but decided that I just didnt want to ride (everyone has off days?!). Normally I would ride as soon as I have finished yard duties. I called in to see yo to tell her I would come up later and lunge or turnout in the school for an hour in the evening when everyone else was done. We dont have any field turnout at the min due to the very wet weather. Got told that was fine. Anyway got home and after having food I realised I had left my phone at the yard so nipped up to get it. Was very cross to find my horse loose in the school with no rugs on and 2 people riding around her. Turns out yo son and his friend thought it would be funny to see how she would react. Yo had given her approval and when I questioned her I got a lecture of how I wasnt going to do anything with her and she needed out at some point and how it was my fault for being a bad owner in the first place.

I can see there point of getting her out of the stable but she is MY horse and I had already stated my plans. More annoyed that she was covered from head to tow in wet sludge from the arena and had been out with no rug when she is fully clipped and it was frosty out.
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They did what!?!?!

Jeeze, I'm sorry but feeling like a bad owner would have been the least of the problems if this had been my horse. I'm suprised you didnt slap her silly!
 
JMB,

Holy crap, time to find a new yard. And who the hell rides around a loose horse. Unless it's your own, still I have nothing to prove with my horses on that topic. That is just out of control. I don't baby my horses but wow! Wrong on so many levels. How did they plan on you not finding out? Hose her from head to toe with a cold hose. Sorry I'm ranting here, I just can't believe that.

To the OP, like another poster said, just listen and smile. Sometimes you might glean some pearls of wisdom. Other times the phrase, "why bless your heart" works.

Terri
 
And to all those blanketless, I'd rather see that then a horse out in 2 heavyweight TO's and it's 9 degrees. That's what it's like here. I must be a bad HO as I have mine in med's. You only get a liner when clipped. No one died or shook a little with the cold even last year when out winter was very cold. Overheated horses can be much worse, but hey whatever.

Terri
 
ConnieLove said:
More often than not it's lack of confidence on there side, or trying to bump up their status on the yard or even sometimes to take the attention away from and issue about them. I really wouldn't worry about it, just be pleasant and do your own thing!
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OP, laminate a copy of this and stick it on your yard notice board:D
 
It's tricky because everyone has their own way of doing things, and there will always be someone (or several) who is more experienced & knowledgeable etc etc than you that makes you feel inadequate, or who believes that you need 'help' and that you might benefit from doing things their way ... I really do think that horsey people tend to be very strong in their views and in the way that they like things to be done, which on a yard does cause niggling problems now and again. There will always be people you think aren't doing things properly (especially when it comes to turnout/rugging ;)) but we all just have to keep our chin up, nod & smile, and then carry on exactly as before ... :D Our horses have been achieved through hard work and cost a lot of time, money and physical & mental effort - the last thing anyone needs is some know-it-all who seeks to put you down and undermine everything that you are doing. There is just no excuse for that kind of behaviour.

I might just make a t-shirt that states "NOONE KNOWS EVERYTHING!" that I could waft in people's faces if need be ;)
 
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My GOD jmb I would be finding a new yard asap. How bloody rude! It's your horse, your responsibility, your choice what you wish to do with your horse. I feel for you with a yo like that.
 
No mainly because theres a livery whose horse regulary hasnt been seen to by 3 in the afternoon so any one looks good in comparison :p.
 
jmb said:
yes, unfortunalty on sat this happened to me. I went up to the yard, mucked out, groomed etc but decided that I just didnt want to ride (everyone has off days?!). Normally I would ride as soon as I have finished yard duties. I called in to see yo to tell her I would come up later and lunge or turnout in the school for an hour in the evening when everyone else was done. We dont have any field turnout at the min due to the very wet weather. Got told that was fine. Anyway got home and after having food I realised I had left my phone at the yard so nipped up to get it. Was very cross to find my horse loose in the school with no rugs on and 2 people riding around her. Turns out yo son and his friend thought it would be funny to see how she would react. Yo had given her approval and when I questioned her I got a lecture of how I wasnt going to do anything with her and she needed out at some point and how it was my fault for being a bad owner in the first place.

I can see there point of getting her out of the stable but she is MY horse and I had already stated my plans. More annoyed that she was covered from head to tow in wet sludge from the arena and had been out with no rug when she is fully clipped and it was frosty out.
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Good grief. If that had been me, I would have exploded with rage upon finding that. I'm sorry but your YO and their son sound like absolute morons. How dare they use a clients horse for their own amusement, while putting it in danger of injury. I think you need to turn up unexpededly more often, and start looking for alternative yards in case you decide you want to get out at short notice. x
 
FionaM12 said:
:eek: Is it kept in or out?
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Well suposedly in at night and out in the day but more like in untill she can be bothered to go down and sort it and then out while she takes some of the filth out of its stable then back in again untill she remembers she has a horse :(. It does make me really annoyed but if you do any thing for her once you end up doing the horse for her until you say no then its your fault for saying no :confused: so now shes used up everyones generosity it gets left for her to deal with.
 
dafthoss said:
Well suposedly in at night and out in the day but more like in untill she can be bothered to go down and sort it and then out while she takes some of the filth out of its stable then back in again untill she remembers she has a horse :(. It does make me really annoyed but if you do any thing for her once you end up doing the horse for her until you say no then its your fault for saying no :confused: so now shes used up everyones generosity it gets left for her to deal with.
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Poor horse. I guess that means it has nothing to eat until 3pm sometimes? How cruel.
 
I get told I'm a bad horse owner! I have a bad shoulder...some days it is less painful than others. So on days when it is bad I throw ponio outside (he's rising 3), and just skip out the stable, leave the wet in. I hate it, but if I'm in pain I don't want to irritate it. Whats more is that ponio is a right box walker and makes a complete mess, it takes AGES!

I muck out properly when my arm feels strong enough...this causes a lot of whispering because my stable isn't perfect. If I was brave I would tell them all where to go!

Chin up, they're all out there, I'm sure they'll hush down soon enough!! :) xxx
 
I'm waiting for this to happen since I'm giving serious thought to joining the Barefoot Taliban on a yard that's very pro shoeing! Not quite sure how I'll habdle it. Have 20years worth of horse experience, about 16 as an owner, but I'm usually the last person to offer a firm opinion or disagree with 'experts' out loud. The most I do is question very carefully so who knows what'll happen when I put my big girl hat on and actually stand firm about a decision I've made that the majority won't agree with!
 
Just over 18 months ago at my old yard my horse came down with very sudden but painful spasmodic colic one evening. I had the vet out that night the next morning and when I went up the following evening he had gone even more down hill so had vet out again. We decided to tube him and get some electrolytes in to him so while we where trying to do this the lady who kind of " ran " the yard came over and advised the reason he had colic was because I was feeding him hay instead of haylage,btw there was nothing wrong with the hay I was feeding him.

At the time I was more worried about my horse than what she was saying as I knew it wasn't true anyway. A couple of days later I was at the yard and horse was getting better. I was talking to someone else about my insurance claim for the colic and she piped in by saying that if I had paid out the money for haylage in the first place he wouldn't have got colic!

It was the final straw for me, I have had horses for over 20 yrs and also know how to tell good hay from bad. Even if she was trying to be helpful there are for more tactful ways of doing it !
 
ConnieLove said:
More often than not it's lack of confidence on there side, or trying to bump up their status on the yard
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Agree with this. Its annoying the "looks" you get if you use a certain bit (yet funnily enough the same person is now using the same bit i do :confused: )

Or the rug combination you use or what you do.

Feel like saying its MY horse, not yours, is it affecting you, NO!
 
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