Everything has gone horribly wrong- desperate advice needed!

What a bloody awful situation - I really feel for you, you are obviously a very compassionate person.

Are you worried that if you bought Jack you would feel selfish or are you worried that your parents would think you are being selfish - do you think they really will be asking you or expecting you to help with funeral costs?

Your dear grandfather hasn't died yet and he may have a bit of time left anyway which will give you a chance to put a little aside to help out anyway if the need arises.
 
If you are worried about having a new horse when everyone is so upset, why don't you buy him, so you're not messing the sellers around, but ask them to keep him a little while. Did I read way back in this thread that they weren't going to deliver till the end of this month anyway? Plenty of time for things to settle down. I do feel you're jumping the gun here. Also, you have made a contract (even if not written) with the sellers, so you ought to go ahead.
 
Is your grandmother in receipt of state benefits at all? Income support, council tax benefit or housing benefit or anything like that? If so, she may be entitled to help with the funeral. I know you want to help your mother and do what you can for your grandfather but it isn't really your responsibility to pay for the funeral.

http://www.jobcentreplus.gov.uk/jcp/partners/allowancesandbenefits/dev_009938.xml.html the DWP.

You do need to discuss it with your mum. Can someone get a loan to help with the funeral, and could you contribute to repayments if you want to help out? It's not quite the same as getting into debt to get a horse, but if Jack's your dream horse, I think you should do all you can to get him.
 
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