ex owner ! grrr

vixiem

vixiem

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I bought my new pony last weekend, the girl who i bought him off delivered him on saturday which was very good of her.
I had paid a deposit on him the weekend before and inbetween that and him coming me and the girl who was selling him had messaged a few times on facebook, it was the easiest way to find out about feed, rugs he was used to etc.
Now that hes here i didnt really expect to hear off her again, or at least not for a bit anyway. but since saturday shes messaged me 3 times asking how he is.
This is fine i thought shes just worrying about him, i said hes fine etc but then it seems to go to her asking lots of questions and i just feel im being judged on how im looking after him, she critisiced my decision to get him gelded and keeps asking what hes being fed and what rugs hes got on. and im too polite to say its nothing to do with you.

question is shall i just delete her off my facebook? then no more hassle or is this really rude?

ive never had anybody who ive bought a horse from on facebook!! silly technology!
 
My horses old owner, sister & mum are on my Facebook! They like the pictures etc, we message occasionally & they do visit her. I'm glad because they can see she's alright without hassling I guess.
Maybe when it's been a while it she will stop :)
 
If they ate coming through as messages via facebook then she can see when you open them. Might be worth leaving them for a few days. I'm sure she means no harm but if it's driving you mad I would ignore.
 
Maybe slow down your responses to her, like wait a few days. So shes not getting an instant response and encouragement to ask more questions. Also try saying somthing like " Ill get you some pics at the end of the month and give you a little update on how he has settled in then".

Saves you having to be rude, and lets her know you dont mind giving a wee update, just not constantly.
 
I can understand that the previous owner has an interest in their (previous) horse - after all ponies are part of our lives and they want the best for their ned.

I opened a hotmail account and set my lad his own facebook account up - solely to post pics, vids, updates of him etc. His former owner is a 'friend' and his owner before has been 'tagged' on a pic of him over the summer.

Perhaps this is a route to explore to take his previous owner off your facebook account and onto your neds instead?
 
She's obviously missing him and was probably a hard decision for her to make to sell him but your right in that what you do with him now has nothing to do with her.

I would just send a message with a picture of how he's settled in, how your getting on and how happy you both are and end with something like " I'll update you in a few weeks" then don't respond to her for a while.

I wouldn't delete her but you can limit what people can see on you're page, maybe change your settings for her only?
 
She probably doesn't mean to criticise, its easy in the horsey world to feel criticised and to come across critical!

I wouldn't delete her, she'll probably worry and possibly start digging in other ways. I agree with other posters on not reading the messages for a couple of days and saying 'I'll update you in a couple of weeks' in the most polite way possible.

I get on great with my horses previous owner and we have regular updates mostly about her new horse but even with her there's the occasional tension when I talk about what I'm feeding her and she wonders why I don't give her the same as she did, I guess its natural!
 
After the experience I had I would try and distance myself politely like the other posters suggest. I allowed (totally my fault) an ex owner to continuously message me I became quite physically ill after about 12 months and decided selling the horse would be for the best. The ex owner went on an absolute bender on me abusing me via messages emails texts and voicemails. Even after I explained I may have a terminal condition she continued to say she had thought I was a forever home. Sometimes it hard to let go. Hopefully if you just take a bit longer to reply etc she will eventually get the message.
 
You only mention deposit have you paid for the pony in full now?

The option of a pony fb page sounds good. Can't be easy for them to have sold and in some respects its rather nice that someone cares enough to keep in touch.
 
It is a difficult situation, and it is hard to let go, especially something you love like a pet.

You can change your facebook settings so you do not have to let her see so much of your information, and as others say, offer to update her at agreed intervals and ask her to give you time to build your relationship and that if you are unsure about anything you will be in touch.

good luck, hope you can sort it without falling out.
 
Whilst I can understand you being a little annoyed I thinks I'd be very confident in my new purchase. If his old owner is so interested he obviously meant the world to her.
Just take a little longer to reply, it's a nice way to give her the message.
I think deleting her would be very unfair!
 
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