Excuses!

L

Lill

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Don't you just get fed up with people making excuses?

My friend has been riding H for me for the past few months...

She hasn't been down since 29 November now, from 1-5 December she was away, then said she wouldn't be down till the Sun 9 December due to jet lag, come Sun 9 December she doesn't come as she says she is ill.... but that she will be down today and tomorrow, she's just said she won't be down tonight and she won't be down at the weekend.

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Not all that dedicated eh?
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Just annoys me, she has been given H to treat pretty much as her own yet she is never there enough really.
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I agree, I would write your friend off as a bad job and look for someone who actually DOES want to ride and work with H. I would chat to her first, though, to make sure there isn't any genuine reason why she doesn't want to ride H and she's jsut covering it up with excuses.

I am in a very similar situation as your friend, I am lucky enough to ride someone else's horse for them (*glances at sig*), and I absolutely hate it when I can't get up to the yard, mainly due to my husband's working hours. I feel that if someone has been nice enough to give me such a great opportunity, the least i can do is make the most of said opportunity !
 
It does annoy me, just seems one thing after another at the moment.

She could only make it down at weekends and once maybe twice during the week to being with as she works quite a distance away and lives 16 miles from the yard. But lately just seems ridiculous.

Its free for her to treat H as her own, she doesn't have to pay for anything yet she still can't really be bothered it seems!

I have her phone number yes, she was a friend of OH's originally.
 
Oh dear, seems very inconsiderate when many people are crying out for horses to ride. I hope you can get things sorted or get someone who truly wants to spend the time with H (me included!)
 
Oh dear, seems very inconsiderate when many people are crying out for horses to ride. (Me included!) I hope you can get things sorted or get someone who truly wants to spend the time with H
 
you might find she doesnt want horse anymore or cant do him anymore but doesnt want to actually tell you as your a friend ?? just a thought.

talk to her just explain that its nothing personal but the horse needs riding regularly and either she can or cant.
 
Mmm.
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She originally started riding her for me because H is one of thoses horses i just don't get on with very well with and after trying for 3+ years i was at the point of giving up!
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So F started riding her for me and they seemed to get on quite well so i let F ride her and do everything as if H were her own, she's also got the opportunity to take her to dressage/SJ shows and on fun rides or whatever.... but last couple of weeks she's barely been there. H does need riding still once or twice a week at the very least really.
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TBH 16 miles isn't that far unless she has to walk it then I could understand but presume she has transport.
Suppose you need to talk to her first as someone said to see if theres a reason and if not explain that you need some commitment for horse.She's got a deal that most people would love!!!
 
I'd talk to her - maybe something has happened that's knocked her confidence that you don't know or about and she's too scared or proud to say? HOWEVER!!!... maybe it's just because it's been a bit rainy and cold and she doesn't want the bother?
 
I know she did come off B about 2 months back and that may have knocked her confidence a little but she's been back riding H since then and got some great results from H and got her going really nicely so i wouldn't think it was that....

I just want her to state two days that she will definitely be down each week to do H is that so much to ask?!
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my friend had someone like that she never came down if it was windy ,rainy or cold she wqas just an undedicated fair weather rider my friend got rid of her but she then got a pony on loan who she still keeps up the yard and she does exactly the same thing with him does what she has to and goes home or and just gets other people to do him in the morning it makes me so angry!!
 
No of course not but if you want to set days then get some kind of written agreement so that if something goes wrong you won't have all this stress again. Without sounding mean - why have you kept the H if you were going to give up on it? If it was for your friend to ride then she's having a pretty good time of having a horse of her own as such that she doesn't have to look after, pay for or even ride. Surely you would be best to either put the H out on part or full loan to someone who would do all those things, or may be even sell if you can't do that? She seems to be taking you for a bit of a mug?
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Well H isn't 100% mine, its a weird set up but she won't ever be sold (everyone is too attached to her as she has such a lovely temperament!
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) and if no one rides her will just be left in the field to have early retirement and get ridden once in a blue moon which seems a waste when she is only 7yo! We are considering driving her, but have been considering this for the past few years and not got anywhere so far
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I stopped riding H this summer to concentrate more on B but of course have been back riding her past few weeks as F hasn't been down.

Don't really want anyone else on the yard particularly as having enough problems with the two liveries we acquired earlier this year.
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Am just a bit annoyed that F has been given the opportunity to have her as her own at no cost and she doesn't seem very dedicated to it.

(H is chesnut in my avatar
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Why don't you just speak to her, or at least write an email? It sounds like you don't know why things have changed or what may have happened - in her life not just her riding - to be having an effect on her schedule. Maybe, as mentioned, she has something to tell you but can't bring herself to do it, in which case you have to be the bigger person and open the door.

It may be you both think you're doing the other a favour and she is not beholden in any way. Be sure and tell her how you see the situation - that you feel she should be honoured to have the horse and owes you a commitment. People only every know what you tell them! (Horses, too, but that's another discussion.
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If you find it a difficult conversation write down a bit of a "script" with the points you want to cover. Just explain the horse needs riding and ask her her thoughts on the matter. Don't accuse, just find a solution. There is no sense turning it into a big deal if it doesn't need to be - maybe this is just a temporary thing and you both need to make a different short term plan.

Good luck.
 
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