Falling for the wrong pony

[JackInABox]

(Warning: The following post is just a self-indulgent moan and probably makes me seem like a completely spoiled brat. Sorry about that. )

For the past year I've helped out at my local riding school as a way to be around horses more. I love it there and I love the ponies too. Recently a pony that used to belong to the YO has come back, but only to get back into work and have some regular schooling so that he can be sold. Not only is he on the small side for me (he's 13.2hh and I'm about 5'6" and 8 stone) but I've always known that he would be sold.

Being stupid as per usual, I still asked to ride him.
When I rode him the first time it just felt like something clicked. He was naughty and badly schooled, he rushed and hardly had any brakes and he didn't bend properly or work into a contact. I don't know why, but he felt different to any pony I'd ridden before and I loved him.

Since then I've been pretty much the only person riding him and people have commented on how well we get on together. I've worked really hard on how he's working and he's slowly getting better, although this is probably largely due to being in regular work. I feel like my riding is really improving too. We've jumped a 2'6" course without crashing or rushing too much and we've done a BE90 dressage test (not as part of an event, just in a lesson) with fairly consistent paces and almost everything happening at the right markers. I'd never ridden a dressage test or jumped a whole course that high before him. I feel like I've really bonded with him and I tear up whenever I think about him going. I haven't felt like that with a pony before.

I know he's going to be sold soon and I know he'll be easier to sell now he's not quite so naughty. I just wish I'd fallen for one of the RS ponies that wasn't going to go anywhere. I know it's stupid and selfish of me, and I should just be happy that I have the opportunity to be around ponies at all, but I can't bear the thought of losing him. I'm trying to think that I should be happy that I've had the chance to ride him and learn so much from him, and that he doesn't care who owns him, but then he'll go and do something like nuzzle my shoulder when I turn him out instead of just running off to eat, and I get all soppy and attached again.

Sorry for the moan, but I had to let it out somewhere. Chocolate for anyone who got this far. I'd appreciate it if anyone else could share their stories of the ones who got away.

 

[Ibblebibble]

i don't think it's stupid or selfish!! it's just pony love nothing we can do to stop them worming their way into our hearts, and lets face it,why would we not want to love them.
it is always hard though when you fall in love with one that isn't yours, i was totally in love with the one i broke in and then led treks on when i was 17/18. she was 'mine' while i worked there but when i left i had to leave her behind, i still have a picture of me riding her in a frame on my bookcase and she was in my life over 20 years ago

 

[Star_Chaser]

No chance of you buying him? Or asking if you can have him on loan? Might be worth asking you never know always worth a try. Sadly is the risk of using other peoples horses its wise not to get too attached to them but not an easy thing to do.

 

[wattamus]

aaaah well, my story turned out differently! I started taking care of this horse for a friend as she never came to the yard and was petrified of the thing. I didnt mind as i had the time and my horse is retired so it gave me a chance to ride again (although she was not a patch on ebony). Anyhow after a couple of months, the owner texts me and says that shes going to sell her to a dealer as the dealer thinks she can get £1.5k for the horse, who is not woth half of that. Anyhow she gave me first refusal and i said i couldnt afford that much. but then, left to my own imagination, i thought of the worst case scenario of how this horse who was really starting to trust me and we were starting to click, would end up getting passed from pillar to post as she was a naughty little bugger and ending up, unloved, in a slaughter house (aren't i morbid? ) so I ended up buying her and paid £1100 which was well over the odds for her but i couldn't see her go and not know how/ where she was. So I am now not very well off but at least I know she's safe and loved. I wasn't looking for a horse and I am well aware that i could've got a much "better" horse for the price but she's ideal for me (in a way) and touch wood, every day she's moving in the right direction and I have never regretted buying her for a minute! Maybe i shouldn't tell you all this your next post will be "I've bought him!"
Oh and fyi you're not too big for him im sure! Personally id say go for it if you could! ooooh what a bad influence!
anyhoo here's a picture of the old gal (please excuse the position!)

and my girls together!

 

[JackInABox]

I'd love to buy him but unfortunately the parental powers say no due to funds. I can afford to pay for his livery and keep out of my own money, but I don't have enough saved up to buy him, he's £2.5k! I could save but by the time I had enough he'd probably already be gone.

The thing is I just can't stop thinking about him and the 'what ifs'. I'm always worried that I'll turn up at the yard one day and he'll be gone. But thanks wattamus, your story gives me some hope of buying him.

 

[wattamus]

Wow from what you've described £2.5k seems a lot, could you not discuss with the YO mentioning that you helped school him up for her making him that value? If it helps, i offered £800 (what I had saved up at the time for a car) and she said no, but i was able to borrow money (from my wonderfull boyfriend!) and paid him back over time. Not saying this is the best soloution but could you not borrow the money and pay it back in installments? prefrably off family as they don't charge interest. Oh and i still havent managed to get a car!

 

[Holly Hocks]

If you can afford to keep the horse yourself that's half the battle - as long as you've budgeted for everything and know you can definitely afford to do it, why not ask the RS if you can have him on loan?

 

[You Wont Forget Me]

I know exactly where your coming from! The same pretty much happened to me although i was forced to loan the pony out as YO (who was a right douche) kept threatening to send her to a dealer or meat market as he hated her and i was the only one riding her but eventually when we went to buy her he asked way too much(5times what she was worth) so ended up having to leave her which was heartbreaking. Here i am today 4 years later still missing her so much and hopefully will get her back one day- i have every intention of doing so, although its also good knowing she's now at a good home and seems to be doing really well

 

[BlizzardBudd]

I know exactly what position you are in apart from for me it was my friends horse. I'd only ridden him a handful of times but we had a connection. They were having to sell him as she was going to uni. I desperately pleaded with my parents and tried everything I had enough money saved and had a friend with some stables who'd let me have one (cheap in return for a few rides for her daughter) and had worked everything out so that I could get him. However if you factored in the possible vets bills I couldn't afford for anything to happen to him and i felt it wouldn't be fair to take him on knowing that.
Sorry to put a down side on things but things happen for a reason and I now share a far writer horse and he has got my confidence up no ends could you look locally for a pony to share?
-C.

 

[Spotsrock]

Ask about him. I fell for a racehorse I was exercising with no hope of affording the tens of thousands I was told he was worth. I made clear how much I wanted him and asked to be notified if he broke down or went lame as I wanted him even as a pet. 7 months and a couple of falls racing and I got a phone call. He became mine for a few quid paid over several months and he's undamaged. Make ur strong attachment known and ask if owner has any ideas.

 

[Clodagh]

No way will they get £2500 I wouldn't have thought. I have just sold a super, well schooled, jump over 3' registered welsh pony for a smidge over £1000. The market is dead. I do hope it works out for you.

And to add my pony was 13.2 and I'm 5'7" and didn't do her any harm!

 

[Warmblood3]

I sometimes believe that when you are told a horse/pony is going to be sold, it can make you love them even more.

I totally feel for you, there are several ponies that I have ridden and/or brought on - who I would have brought had they been 2 hands higher

I agree with Clodagh, your yard owner is going to struggle to get that amount of money for him in a short space of time, maybe you could have a talk with him/her and let her know how much you love the pony.. it might not mean you become the immeditate owner.. but its a start!

 

[JackInABox]

Thank you for all of your kind words and advice, it really does help.

Unfortunately he isn't owned by the YO, she sold him to a relative who has since grown out of him. They hardly ever rode him so he's back for schooling before being sold. However I have talked to the YO about it, and she said she's in no hurry to see him sold so isn't making a big thing of advertising him. Everyone on the yard knows how much I love him, I spend all my free time fussing over him, I ride him at every opportunity and I always have a huge grin when i do.

I'll ask if there's any hope of getting him cheaper, knocking £1000 off his price does make it seem so much more possible to be able to afford him. I suppose there's no harm in asking questions, the worst I'll get told is no. I think I'll regret losing him more if I haven't tried as hard as I can to keep him first.

 

[natalia]

No harm in asking, I bet yard owner would help you out and put a good word in ESP. If she's going to gt livery out of it! Could they not let you pay in installments seeing as its yard owners family?

 

[BBP]

I was the only one at my riding school who ended up riding a little 13hh palomino mare who came in as a step up from the little ponies. She was super sharp and bucked everyone else off, but for some reason, despite being a cowardly child I loved her. When they decided to sell her as she wasn't earning her keep I sobbed for days. Off she went to market. I was heartbroken.

She came back as only the meat man bid for her. They said she had a week to be sold or she'd have to go for meat. My parents saw how distraught I was and decided to have her vetted. She failed the flexion test in grand style, going up in the air when the vet tried to flex her knees. They also diagnosed tendons issues. Not only that, she was much older than the 8yr old the school thought she was.

She came home anyway. For £50 over meat money. Turns out she was at least 23yrs old, too small, too unsound, blind in one eye...but the best little pony ever! I had her for 16 yrs and she died 3 years ago at the grand age of 39. I learned so much from her and we had so many adventures.

I doubt that helps much!

 

[TrasaM]

(Warning: The following post is just a self-indulgent moan and probably makes me seem like a completely spoiled brat. Sorry about that. )


Being stupid as per usual, I still asked to ride him.
When I rode him the first time it just felt like something clicked. He was naughty and badly schooled, he rushed and hardly had any brakes and he didn't bend properly or work into a contact. I don't know why, but he felt different to any pony I'd ridden before and I loved him.

Since then I've been pretty much the only person riding him and people have commented on how well we get on together. I've worked really hard on how he's working and he's slowly getting better, although this is probably largely due to being in regular work. I feel like my riding is really improving too. We've jumped a 2'6" course without crashing or rushing too much and we've done a BE90 dressage test (not as part of an event, just in a lesson) with fairly consistent paces and almost everything happening at the right markers. I'd never ridden a dressage test or jumped a whole course that high before him. I feel like I've really bonded with him and I tear up whenever I think about him going. I haven't felt like that with a pony before.

.

I'm in a very similar position as you. I've totally fallen for my RS horse and he is not for sale. My RI says he's a one man horse and can see that I have a special connection to him and I just love him. I worry about how he's being treated by other riders and it upsets me if i think he's unhappy. Sometimes I think that I should just go and have lessons elsewhere and forget about him but I can't do it. Oddly he seems to have the same type of personality as yours too.
I hope you have the chance to keep hold of him. At least with me I know that I can continue riding mine in lessons as he won't be sold.

 

[lainy]

Its incredible how one will touch you in ways you dont expect. I was looking and looking for an irish draught filly who ticked all my boxes, breeding, beauty,grey....etc....saw some.....then went to see a black filly.....breeding lovely....colour wrong but ok....worse, she kind of hit the ugly branch on the way down.........plain jane....she loved me on sight and I bought her for a lot less than I expected to pay. So....if the pony is for you, dont give up hope! Good luck!

 

[TrasaM]

Its incredible how one will touch you in ways you dont expect. I was looking and looking for an irish draught filly who ticked all my boxes, breeding, beauty,grey....etc....saw some.....then went to see a black filly.....breeding lovely....colour wrong but ok....worse, she kind of hit the ugly branch on the way down.........plain jane....she loved me on sight and I bought her for a lot less than I expected to pay. So....if the pony is for you, dont give up hope! Good luck!

No! What is it that catches our hearts? When I first saw Theo my first though was " well you'll never win any beauty prizes! Half hour later and I was totally smitten.

 

[Sugar_and_Spice]

Are you sure you haven't been told he's 2.5k because they know you're attached and are hoping you'll pay that for him?

I can't help getting attached either. I find the only way to avoid the heartbreak is to buy your own.