Fashion Tips for the Discerning Horsey Woman

BeingKate

BeingKate

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Turned the team out and popping to Tesco for a cheeky costa and a pot noodle for later. I'm rocking the look of filthy, stinky breeches (Mark Todd, darlings), purple converse trainers, one sock with a grinning dog on it, one sock with a horses bottom on it, a polo shirt from Asda with a hole in the arm pit and a gilet with a big poo mark on it. I am finishing the look by accessorising, a dash of golden p*** soaked straw in my hair no doubt. Because THATS HOW I ROLL

what are you all wearing? Hahaha
 
Oh you're just faaaaabulous! :D
I'm currently sporting 3 layers of thermals as I daren't take them off yet because I've managed to avoid chillblains on my legs this year (thermal wearing started around August time :D), a pair of filthy, stinky jeans that have very suspicious marks on them as well as mud, a grey hoody that has a horse food on it from my lovely youngster, wellies with holes in & an ancient quilted jacket that's ripped round one armpit & has little holes with stuffing coming out! I've also just realised I've got a mud spattered face from the pony jumping in a puddle - no bad thing but I bumped into a neighbour on my way up the village (you know, one of those strange species of woman who is clean & tidy.....)!!! :D
 
BeingKate said:
one sock with a grinning dog on it, one sock with a horses bottom on it,
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If the socks were clean when you put them on, and neither have holes, they are in fact a matching pair, according to my laws of sock matchy matchy. If they only fulfill one criteria of that test, you are on a sticky wicket.
 
Today I opted for old jeggings which have a hole on the inner thigh revealing lily white legs which haven't seen sun shine for many years. Very worn out, smelly, stained Caterpillar work boots. A was white but now yellowy grey and blue striped hoody, a Joules gilet that I have ruined in less than 2 months and as for the hair - well it brings a whole new meaning to bedhead :-)
 
BK !!! you are back with us :):D
don't laugh but i'm painting today and the only thing i could find were some black velvet jogging bottoms! i have no idea where they came from, OH's face was a picture as i came into the kitchen he said' oh my god woman, are you off to the spa to do lunch'. i have teamed them with rigger boots!!! xxxx
 
Shady said:
BK !!! you are back with us :):D
don't laugh but i'm painting today and the only thing i could find were some black velvet jogging bottoms! i have no idea where they came from, OH's face was a picture as i came into the kitchen he said' oh my god woman, are you off to the spa to do lunch'. i have teamed them with rigger boots!!! xxxx
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Do they say BABE in diamante across the back?! Hahaha xx
 
Ha ha brilliant! .... I'm glad it's not just me.

I normally finish off my polished look with a spritz of au haylage 'perfume..'

My top trump though is also having streaks of baby snot down my fleece and the other week in a major supermarket I was even sporting a large circular milk wet patch in my left boob area (yes I'm b feeding!) that I only noticed once I'd come out the store. Lovely!
 
I am wearing long ginger hair, not on my head but everywhere else (chestnut cushings horse has decided to start shedding), on my head I am wearing my usual roundhead hat hair, unfortunately I have a rather small head so from a distance I look as if I've borrowed my head from a much smaller person.
 
Hahahaha LOVE this post! i live in mud covered hunters that have more holes than a colinder, stained jods or stained jeggins and sticky stained dog and horse hair filled hoodies and i ALWAYS have hay in my hair even after its just bin washed. My son has banned me from the school run, apparently 'its embarressing that i smell and cant dress like a girl!'
 
Had to make a visit to my daughter's school office this morning after mucking out and tidying up the dung heap. Nice warm office and the rising aroma of eau de horse p**s, I think they were glad when I left! Edited to say that I did change from stinky wellies to shoes before going though!
 
I am sporting the utmost fashion this morning, new in this season.... So much blonde hair from the bug fella shedding like crazy, very worn denim breeches that have mud all up one but cheek after I slipped with wheelbarrow and poo stains all down front and a suspicious hole below my other but cheek ( wonder which hound did that!). My T-shirt is some kind of pants-left-in-wash grey and my gullet has half the stuffing hanging out where some naughty pony pulled the pocket off after smelling polos in the pocket. It has a lovely snot mark down back just for good measure! My hair has a fair amount of straw in from a vigorous mucking out this morning and my boots are army boots that should be black but are so old and never been washed that they are a funny brown. I am just soooo fashionable!
 
Oooh ladies, wait for it!
Tomorrow I shall be officially 40 weeks pregnant and have still been doing the daily excursion to the stables to muck out and then more often then not to pick up shopping straight after, so just picture this...

Besides the walking whale look, a pair of leggings (maternity that I now refuse to buy anymore of and have been sewn back together 3 times) covered in straw and holes down the crotch and bum area and have also gone see-through. My sole surviving maternity top, with a hole in the armpit. A brown gilet that Ive not been able to do up for three months and that I've been reliably informed has the quilting is coming out the seams. Knee high socks (that match because of my OCD although I admit to having to get my fiancé to put on for me) and a pair of old, hay filled Uggs as my feet have swelled...
Of course complete with horse poop perfume and hay stuck to my bum/hair/any item of clothing.
 
Great thread - just to add though - am I the only person who begins to realise, at this time of year when yard visits are actually in daylight, how totally filthy yard jackets are??!! And that these are the jackets in which I have been stopping off to buy food from the local OneStop in? And that this is why other customers have surreptitiously edged away from me all this time?
 
Relatively clean breeches, but only because I realised I'd wiped pig oil hands all over yesterdays and everything had stuck to them so these have only done last night and this morning. Relatively new polo shirt - ie not the one I wore to SW on Wednesday night which I then realised had more holes than fabric. Black fleece which has a strange white smear all the way down the front - dunno if it's horse dribble, dog dribble or I spilt my tea, and 32 year old gilet which definitely has stuffing coming out of the seams but has great pockets!

I am rocking this look with two pairs of socks (otherwise my wellies slop about), both of which are highly visible!
 
jojo5, it's not just you....

This season, I have been sporting a combination of denim, jersey, neoprene and corduroy, with red, brown and white embellishments and a fetching abstract mud and poo applique design.

For those special occasions, I have been accessorizing with hi-viz, in orange, yellow, pink and green, enhanced with silver striping for an ultra-modern look. :D
 
Yes, jojo5, have noticed my aged Puffa jacket (must be coming up to 10 years old) is desperately in need of a wash, but I think the mud, slobber and general grime may be the only thing holding it together. My beloved gillet is also emanating a dodgy smell when worn!��
 
I'm feeling quite posh. Matching socks, jods with not a lot of dirt and a Rydale long sleeved shirt that has hair on it but no mud! I'm practising for when I go back to work with Muggles in May. I've been writing my PhD thesis at home, so having to stay clean or change at the yard is going to be a shocker! Most days I don't even brush my hair any more!
 
Usually leggings, fleecey Toggi or joules socks pulled right up and a pair of crocs. Then my lovely bright blue yard cost with some very suspect green and brown stains. Hay is usually just everywhere lol
 
bahaha I'm so glad this isn't just me! OP's description is what I wear!

I have taken to tucking my jods into my socks. This not only keeps them up inside my wellies, but looks fetching with an ancient pair of trainers when shopping after visiting Miss. My socks NEVER match. They are always different, and I prefer it if they are totally different so different colours/textures/style/length and also one should be inside out.

I was so filthy on my trip to the tack shop last Saturday that the nice lady put my new white breeches into the bag with my new fancy jacket 'to be sure they don't get any marks'. Clearly, she knows my type.
 
filthy muddy yard mucker boots. black trousers with more white dog hair on them than anything else a grubby knitted sweater and half the field in my hair from brushing the hrses this morning mud off them and onto me. several layers of multicoloured horse hair and hay down my vest. on face am wearing some foundation then got distracted so forgot ther rest of the make up including the lipstick. no earings. forgot and went shopping. just go back from supermarket. hope no one say me who knows me.
 
The standard reply on the Breeding Forum, where I am a habitual resident, is "Where are the pics?".

Who has tested these new hair care products designed for 'English Hair', my life is one endless bad hair day.
 
My worst crime is that I wear socks with crocs. I pretend to other people it's only when I take off my riding boots or wellies to keep the car clean :) but I have no problem with them - especially worn with breeches (covered in hair as my mare is moulting terribly) and a muddy coat. Wish I looked like one of those Pikeur models :)
 
A friend and I once had a conversation about how often horsey gear should be washed. Given that within seconds of putting on clean clothes they will be filthy again we decided that the best thing was to wait until the smell becomes overpowering.
 
This thread makes me feel part of a community. OK, it's a filthy smelly community with very low standards of hygiene, but still, it's nice to belong :D
 
a friend of mine nipped to the supermarket with her young daughter after doing the horses to pick up a forgotten item when met a school chum of her daughter in there .The friend asked her daughter 'does your mum not have ANY nice clothes!!!'
 
As I started work at 6am today so haven't been to the horses I am *relatively* presentable. I say realtively because anything other than pulling some clothes on at 5.30 am is way too much effort(I had a bath last night, I'm not totally scummy!) However, all my colleagues give me their rotting fruit for the horses and because I had my hands full when I left last night I put a banana, two apples and a tangerine (I didn't have the heart to say no) in my handbag and promptly forgot about them. I now have a strange sickly sweet slightly rotten smell going on instead of the usual horse p*ss.
 
I get to the yard by bus and train so give all those London commuters a chance to see this years equestrian trend and appreciate the eau de TB which always matures nicely in a steamy bus.

Yesterday I added to the look with the reverse panda dust mask after grooming a muddy horse and all the mud settling on my face. Obviously I didn't check myself in the mirror till I got home and thought the man in the corner shop who smiled was just being friendly.
 
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