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lucyt02

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I'm looking for any advice or experience people have had really. I always felt like a confident rider, I was happy to hack out without a problem, was happy in all four gaits and was happy to ride any sort of horse, any size and was happy to jump.

In 2011 I fell off cantering when I lost my stirrup. I got straight back on, but I never rode in that field again. I was scared about cantering again after that, but by early 2012 I was back cantering. I then schooled the pony one day but I did feel nervous still in canter. I went to do a jump where the pony got over excited and took me by surprise, I then lost a stirrup, jumped the jump and tumbled off the side. Again I got straight back on, but ever since have always had a slight worry in my mind.

Last year I fell off a different horse in canter, but I now feel absolutely terrified of any speed. In fact I'm finding it hard to even get on. But I really miss riding and I love the pony I've got. I know that if I get my confidence up I can do so much more, I have ridden this pony out without any problems, but I feel so scared.

I just want to know what other people have done to get their confidence back. I know that in my self I am not a very confident person but I need to do something. Thank you and sorry for long thread.
 
Hi, when I have a Problem with my confidence I usually get in my instructor and have lessons. This usually helps. I am always careful not to over face myself when feeling delicate. Take things slowly. I also belong to a FB page called confident riders which is great fun and helps.
 
I've recently lost my confidence on a particular horse and have found being able to jump on when I feel up to it and just do as much as I am comfortable doing has been really helpful.
Do you have someone who can ride yours for you and you can cool your pony off if you feel up to it.
 
I am trying to get my confidence back, it is coming slowly.
Take it one day at a time. Be gentle with yourself.
only do what you feel comfortable with, do not let others push you.
Try And have some lessons on the pony.
Keep positive.
Just ride at a walk if that is what you are confident with. The rest will come.
Do not force yourself to canter, wait until you want to do it.
It does not matter how short your riding session is. Even if it is just mounting walking a few steps then dismounting.
You are not alone, loss of confidence happens to lots of people.
I have a lovely lady who is in the same situation as me, and we try talk(type) via the internet. We have never met, much too far away. We share our ups and downs and try to help each other.
Focus on your achievements, not the bad bits.
You can do it, in your own time.
 
It doesn't sound like you have the most secure seat and are easily unseated, which is probably what's knocking your confidence. Are you currently riding too much horse? Do you have something a bit smaller/steadier that you could practice on?

I think if you did a lot of no stirrup work in walk and trot to start with, and eventually in canter (maybe on the lunge), you will feel more confident as you get more and more secure in the saddle.

Remember to really keep your heels down!
 
You don't have to canter, keep having lessons but start off with trotting. Trotting over poles, using grids will establish your position.
You then progress to trotting over crossed poles which the pony jumps, so you need to alter your position, it may be that you are not relaxed, or that you are exaggerating your posiiton so you are either not in rhythm or in balance.
Are the stirrups a safe type or the ordinary ones, are you wearing boots with a good grip and which fit the stirrups properly, is the saddle a good fit for you, are the leathers the correct length?
Are you riding enough to get best use of your lessons?
There are sticky bum joddies, which don t stay sticky for long, but might get you back on track, you need to feel you are low in the sadlle, not perched on top of it.
Also can you go to Pilates classes or get a personal trainer to show you how to do it, amazingly this is something that works to improve balance, you are training your natural reactions.
 
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Hi I have had a lesson with a lady who is really happy with my seat and position all over, so I don't feel that is the problem. I feel comfortable once on and I don't think that it is I've become unseated but more my mind thinks I'm gonna fall off so I end up throwing myself off. It's like my body can do it but my mind can't, if that makes any sense. I'm trying to just take it step by step and I have done a lot of groundwork with my pony to make sure we have a lot of trust and good relationship. Thank you for all your replies.
 
I'd do baby steps. What about if you try making yourself ride each day, but only get on to do 5 minutes of walk, no pressure. Then you'll find that one day, you'll want to do longer, or want to trot, because you do enjoy riding and riding in walk is firmly in your comfort zone. But there's no telling when that will be, it might take a week, it might take 6 months - you can do a lot of schooling in walk :). But then you'll probably find you get bored of trot and want a canter, or want to leave the arena and go for a walk up the road. But you can't push it, and that includes making yourself feel guilty for not doing more. I've found the key is to stay within your comfort zone, as long as you make sure you do ride regularly - even if its just a quick sit.
 
Try a full on jumping lesson with lots of quick fences, changing from trot to canter and also canter bounces, quick changes of direction. Explain to your instructor what your problem is, everyone has different problems!
I know about throwing yourself off, I did this because my horse was young and his leaps out hunting were huge. If you slip both index fingers though a neck strap this might divert your attention. Keep your weight low in your heels and look ahead between his ears. You will get over it.
 
SpringArising said:
It doesn't sound like you have the most secure seat and are easily unseated, which is probably what's knocking your confidence. Are you currently riding too much horse? Do you have something a bit smaller/steadier that you could practice on?

I think if you did a lot of no stirrup work in walk and trot to start with, and eventually in canter (maybe on the lunge), you will feel more confident as you get more and more secure in the saddle.
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Agreeing with SpringArising. Sounds like you need a more secure seat and no stirrup work in the trot especially will be very beneficial. It would help your confidence to not feel dependent on your stirrups for balance (as you shouldn't be). Someone else mentioned doing more core strengthening and balance work out of the saddle too and that will help as well.

The other thing, and this may sound odd to you, but you can actually learn to fall. Years and years ago I took Judo lessons and learned how to fall correctly without hurting myself (beyond bruises) and it helped quite a bit, even though the main aim at the time had nothing to do with horses. When you're afraid to fall you actually tense up in ways that affect your ability to balance, and you will also hurt yourself more when you do fall all tensed up.
 
Hugs to you, confidence is such a fragile thing !
I am currently going through a similar thing after having a fall, didn't get hurt but my confidence has hit rock bottom - I now have a little one to look after and my brain has gone into overdrive, so much so that I have not ridden for a few months. I have someone else ride, which boosts my confidence in my horse - for me I know that the main issue is that I am not half as fit as I should be after having the baby and where I have gotten away with this before suddenly I have been found out, a bit of a bronc and I was out the side door. So I am losing a few lbs (read stones lol) and getting fit again to boost my confidence in myself.
I think it was another thread on here where someone posted about fear being your brains way of keeping you safe, you need to analyse what exactly you are scared of, what you can do to protect yourself from this (getting hurt) and it is almost like bargaining with yourself - I will always wear a body protector so I minimise the risk of getting hurt or I will stay in trot so I do not fall off, then after a little while you can move the goalposts as your confidence builds up again, I will only canter in the school for 3 strides etc.

Also agree with all the above, learning how to fall off so you don't get hurt, looking at why you seem to be loosing your stirrups etc. If you know why it is happening then you can look at changing it so it does not happen again, instant boost !

Good luck OP !
 
Thank you so much for all your replies. It's not a problem with my seat, I'm not losing my seat, I'm becoming worried and so basically throwing myself off. Like when I lost my stirrup it wasn't that then I had no stirrup and had to fall off. I've lost stirrups before, who hasn't, eventers lose them at least once on every cross country ride. I've been out galloping and jumping before. I just think I'm overthinking it more now. As if before I was more ignorant to falling off.
 
Possum said:
I'd do baby steps. What about if you try making yourself ride each day, but only get on to do 5 minutes of walk, no pressure. Then you'll find that one day, you'll want to do longer, or want to trot, because you do enjoy riding and riding in walk is firmly in your comfort zone. But there's no telling when that will be, it might take a week, it might take 6 months - you can do a lot of schooling in walk :). But then you'll probably find you get bored of trot and want a canter, or want to leave the arena and go for a walk up the road. But you can't push it, and that includes making yourself feel guilty for not doing more. I've found the key is to stay within your comfort zone, as long as you make sure you do ride regularly - even if its just a quick sit.
Click to expand...

This above is the key for me. I've had terrible crisis of confidence but have overcome them by little and often. I'm not a brave gung-ho rider now, but I enjoy going for a good burn... Sometimes!
 
lucyt02 said:
In 2011 I fell off cantering when I lost my stirrup.

I went to do a jump where the pony got over excited and took me by surprise, I then lost a stirrup, jumped the jump and tumbled off the side.
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From the way you word it here, it doesn't sound like you're chucking yourself off. That's why I suggested improving your seat; you shouldn't come off just from losing a stirrup. If you are chucking yourself off, fair enough!
 
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