Feel inadequate having cob?

[palo1]

To be honest OP I think this is actually about status anxiety rather than horses. We live in a very status driven world sadly where even our animals are signalling about perceived values, money, skill etc etc. I think most people are susceptible to this to some degree - we are constantly receiving messages about those things and we are all very sensitive to semiotic material. Some folk choose to reject that stuff consciously, others have to 'buy in' at some level but then decide which values are relevant to them. It is complex! It becomes even more complex if we investigate and try to match what makes us happy with what we might think expectations and status signals are in any particular situation.

I feel lucky enough to have had some really super and 'admirable' horses that 'fit' the bill in some settings and other horses that seem oddballs. The reality is that for most riders almost any horse can be 'right' in every way (in making us happy and fulfilled in our equestrian pursuits and communicating 'other' stuff). The most important thing is to feel happy and connected with the horse that you have or choose to ride. There really isn't anything more important or rewarding than that so the trick is to find a trainer that supports and develops your happiness, connection and sense of fulfillment. Horses neither know what society thinks nor do they care thankfully. I think we should be more like them!!

 

[milliepops]

To be fair, OP hasn't said that anyone else has said / done anything to make her feel this way - just that she feels inadequate / embarrassed. She hasn't had a lesson with this trainer yet.

yeah i read it as though OP thought she felt out of place, not that the trainer or yard had actually told her that.

it's hard to put that feeling to one side but if the trainer is a good one it should melt away as you get started

 

[Sossigpoker]

To be fair, OP hasn't said that anyone else has said / done anything to make her feel this way - just that she feels inadequate / embarrassed. She hasn't had a lesson with this trainer yet.

Oh sorry I must have misread it.
Thats kind of sad, feel a bit sorry for the horse.

 

[paddi22]

I think there's nearly MORE pressure getting a 'good' horse. Because you can be sure people will look at the flashy horse, see it's potential, and then only see the riders faults because they are more glaringly obvious. I hear more negative judgements at shows about people getting a horse that's too good for them. It also puts more pressure on the rider to do the horse justice. It's much easier to ride a good prelim test on a rhythmic calm balanced cob, than an athletic but wobbley sports horse who needs a lot more from its rider.

 

[saddlesore]

There’s a group on Facebook called Dressage Cobs with loads of cobs working brilliantly! I love my cob and wouldn’t trade him for a warmblood if you paid me as I know it wouldn’t work ?

 

[Merrymoles]

I think you may well end up prouder of what you achieve with your cob than you would have done with a flashier type - there is no bigger joy that achieving something special with a horse that doesn't tick all the boxes in terms of looks, breeding, conformation etc.

I sympathise with your feelings as I spent a bit of time hating being looked down on as a "happy hacker", which is a phrase I hate, until I realised that my happy hacker could cope in all sorts of situations that blew the minds of other horses because he had seen so much more on his travels.

 

[AShetlandBitMeOnce]

Cobs are brilliant! I don't think it's a completely out there way to feel though, I think every rider has worries about their steed or their riding etc.

I was the flip of you, I had the big 18+hh very flashy warmblood, but I always had huge insecurities that people were going to point at us and say 'who's that numpty on that nice horse' - when really he was a horse that fell on my lap and was a bit of a pity buy as he was in a rough spot. I loved the bones of him. Truthfully, next time I will be looking for a cob, they are no inferior to any other type of horse!

I usually find however, that as long as you try your best and do the best by your horse, no-one really cares what you're riding and if they do, then you don't want to be in their company anyway. Go to a local dressage show, I was volunteering as a steward at one yesterday and I could count on one hand the amount of people that had warmbloods (not a single one in the first 50 competitors, the closest to that type were 1 ID, 1 TB and 1 Arab - the rest were all cobs or natives and all were congratulated and celebrated the same).

 

[SEL]

The coloured cob on our yard is the most useful horse there! He does dressage, fun rides and can pop up to 1m without issue. Fabulous in traffic, not neurotic about much (apart from his dinner bowl) and can be ridden by his 75yo owner one day and a child the next. The warmbloods on the other hand seem to spend more time entertaining the vet than their owners.

I took on a 13h cob a year ago due to the old owner's personal circumstances and bobbling out hacking on her is a LOT less stressful than when I used to have my old warmblood. She's forward going, fun and - most importantly - sane

Enjoy your horse OP and crack on with those lessons. Any decent instructor will teach the combination in front of them whether they look like they've fallen out of a thelwell book or something Charlotte should be riding.

 

[splashgirl45]

have a look at omar rabia, ive got his book called . cobs can . i just googled him on u tube to see if he had any training videos and got sidetracked by a short interview with carl hester, he said he loves cobs and used to ride a skewbald cob himself. my friend had a cob type 16 hands horse and got to GP, milliepops has done wonders with her cob. you need to be happy you have a safe horse who you can train without spooks etc. i had a warmblood cross and she scared the life out of me and i should have bought a sensible cob and had much more fun...

 

[Not_so_brave_anymore]

I think you've done the exact right thing. Any of those calm "easy" warm bloods you work with now could well become difficult at home with fewer facilities and less help on hand.

 

[Cortez]

I love cobs, and I used to ride big, fancy warmbloods as the day job. I've competed a heavyweight cob at PSG, and used to regularly beat some pretty smart horses. Your best revenge would be to ride well and show them all what a great little horse you've got.

 

[j1ffy]

As others have said, most trainers will work with you to improve your horse no matter if it's the next Valegro or something that wouldn't look out of place in a Thelwell book! My trainer (based at the same place as MP) often prefers working with 'different' horses. You should definitely go for a lesson and see where it takes you

A friend of mine has a cob, a connie and a young cob x connie. The two ridden horses have both made it to PSG with her and she's another great inspiration. Her FB page is here and worth a look: https://www.facebook.com/acobandaconnie

 

[deb_l222]

Well, I had a cart horse!! Other people called him that not me I hasten to add

What that cart horse could do however was turn his hoof to anything that was asked of him; jumping, dressage, cross country etc. He was ultimately a rock steady chap and that's what I wanted - you could take him anywhere.

My friend bought herself a warmblood because she wanted to challenge herself and wanted to look (and I quote) "posh". She was scared to death of her and still doesn't ride her to this day, despite having multiple lessons.

I know which one I would choose

 

[Surbie]

I adore mine. He has the sweetest temperament, is trainable, loves to please his rider and can up his game wonderfully if he has a good rider. (I am not one of those) My friends have flashy warmbloods, Connies and PREs, and they also look fab, just different. I have never, ever felt any snobbishness from them.

I have heard my horse described as 'a common cob' on a few occasions. I couldn't give a flying fart, they obviously don't know what they are missing. I mostly feel safe on him, but he is definitely enough of a challenge.

Mine may not get far in dressage as he's a bit conformationally challenged, but to be fair so am I. My GP dressage instructor still loves us.

Your cob sounds lovely. Do definitely ask for lessons. And post pics of him.

 

[blitznbobs]

I had a Full fat hairy at adv medium .... never prouder when he trounced the fancy warmbloods ... couldnt go
Much further cos his extended trot and canter werent up to it which was a pity cos his passage and piaffe were really good... there is nothing like the feeling of riding a normal horse that beats the fancy pants one because of your training and team work

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

I feel sorry for your cob. He needs you to feel confident riding him and proud of his achievements. Have a look at millipops' posts to see just what can be achieved on a welsh cob. Then find yourself a good dressage trainer and see what you can do together. You never know the trainer on the yard might, indeed probably would, be horrified if she knew how you feel about her attitude to different horses.

This was just going to say I feel sorry for your horse and mention millipops on here who does top level dressage on her Welsh D, I have Arabs they are a bit marmite a lot of people dislike them deem them useless but I couldn't give a toss what anyone thinks, I have shown them both and done well and I love them and always will I don't care what horses other people have.

 

[blitznbobs]

Ps my cob had training sessions with Gareth Hughes ... and hes an olympic medal winner and he loved him (laughed a lot at his flippy feathers too)

 

[Millie-Rose]

Seeing that you are in Lincs I wonder if you are talking about my instructor. She has a large dressage yard and is a renowned trainer. I don't have a cob but do have a TB/ Shire cross who is not a fan of dressage! I spent ages thinking that we weren't good enough to go there for lessons amid the fancy WB's but am so glad I took the plunge. We have made huge progress and instructor seems to enjoy teaching us. I looked at it another way and thought we must be fairly rewarding to teach as small changes are seeing us make considerable improvements. Also my mare is a sweetheart and we always turn up ready to work and learn my mare concentrates and gets on with it regardless of the weather or whatever else is going on so we get something out of every session. You won't know unless you try. I had one in the end and thought if I feel out of place or get nothing from it I won't go back there is nothing to loose.

 

[Emilieu]

I am actually the opposite. I am absolutely smug about my wonderful cob. We’ve had lessons with a few different instructors and every one has been full of compliments for her; the fancy dressage instructor said she had a fabulous attitude and a nice natural carriage. I just beam and agree with every compliment she gets. My TB was stunning beyond belief but riding him was... challenging.

 

[hollyandivy123]

the best thing about competing a cob is when you out score those who shall I say on paper technically have a better "pedigree"...............just watching the riders and owners faces, worth every penny

dressage is about training and communication, have fun enjoy yourself trust me the grass is not always greener on the other side!

 

[Carmen6]

To be honest OP I think this is actually about status anxiety rather than horses. We live in a very status driven world sadly where even our animals are signalling about perceived values, money, skill etc etc. I think most people are susceptible to this to some degree - we are constantly receiving messages about those things and we are all very sensitive to semiotic material. Some folk choose to reject that stuff consciously, others have to 'buy in' at some level but then decide which values are relevant to them. It is complex! It becomes even more complex if we investigate and try to match what makes us happy with what we might think expectations and status signals are in any particular situation.

^^ This with bells on.

It's not a judgement, just an observation that you can use to your advantage.

Making decisions that are motivated in this way, at best, wont make you feel better (at least long term), and, at worst, invites a new set of problems.

That probably wont make you feel any better or give you a course of action. Sometimes we just have to "get amongst it" and learn the hard way before we see the light.

I'm not discounting the fact that human beings can't help playing social hiararchy games based on wealth or possessions. Avoid these people; they have isssues.

 

[milliepops]

Boston Deluxe is another one to check out for some inspiration - a clydesdale who got to GP and is a huge character. although the pages of H&H are normally full of WBs, there are lots of people flying the flag for the "alternative" dressage horse.

 

[Nasicus]

My old cob was the one people turned to when their big fancy warmbloods broke down

 

[twobearsarthur]

Please don’t feel embarrassed by your cob or his lack of flashiness!
I had a neurotic warmblood mare last (I’m not saying they’re all neurotic but she was) and now I’ve gone back to Irish Draughts. I missed a sensible no nonsense head. The yard I’m on imports dressage and showjumping youngstock from Germany so he’s one of only three (out of 40) that don’t speak German and have ballerina legs.
He sticks out like a sore thumb like a rhinoceros amongst swans but he’s also a firm favourite with everyone because he just gets on with life and is just a lovely person.
No he won’t ever be able to extend like a Hanoverian but he makes me smile every time I see him and that’s all that matters to me.
Don’t worry about what other people may or may not think. I always tell myself other people’s opinions of me are none of my business. And to be honest they probably haven’t given you or your cob a second thought.
Would you rather be happy with your cob or unhappy with a flashy warmblood?
My mum rode for 40+ years and would only have cobs that she could throw in the back of her box and take eventing, showing, dressage or to a farm ride. Cobs aren’t just for novices they can be absolute sods when the mood takes them.
We ride to enjoy so put the flashy thoughts out of your head and enjoy him.

 

[Flame_]

On one occasion, after another of my sports horses went wrong, I decided I was a bit sick of it and fancied an arab. Most people I told were bemused, some were disapproving. Anyway, I couldn't find one easily, allowed myself to be discouraged and bought another sports horse. She was a bit of a pita, so I sold her, committed to a wider search and bought an arab. Best decision ever. If you know what you want, you've gone and got it, get on and enjoy it, and take no bleeding notice of what anybody else might think.

ETA Also, I don't enjoy riding cobs myself, but whenever I'm out and about, what I enjoy seeing and spending time around is people enjoying well-suited partnerships with the right horse for them, not with people consumed by angst or frustration because they are trying to ride a particular horse that isn't a good match for them. If you and your cob work well together, I bet 99% of people who see you will either be impressed or envious, not condescending at all.

 

[palo1]

I just wanted to add that I think most people have had moments of embarrassment in relation to their horses - all across the spectrum of achievement and abilities. I am sure even CDJ had moments when she first acquired several of her horses where she wondered if she would look 'daft' in some way that others would judge... I have a friend with a hugely flashy, smart 'proper' horse and she has struggled massively to put up with other people's judgements and expectations and that hasn't made her feel happier with the horse or herself. In that particular case the judgements are all about the rider's lack of 'achievement' or 'ability' (both mean and unneccessary judgements in my view ) with such an apparantly 'good' horse. I do know of lots of people too who are somewhat shamefaced about buying a 'small'/'easy'/'common' horse for various reasons - all status and judgement related, only to have a fab time with those horses who suit them perfectly; they are then able to sing their praises to everyone and feel good about that. We are all conscious of the judgements other people make but in my experience if you have a horse that you feel good about it is easier to say 'stuff you' to those judging!! Basically I think if you feel sensitive about others judgements in equestrian terms you will find it hard to 'win' at feeling good. The trick is to really work out what is important to you and judge your own setting against that.

 

[cauda equina]

https://www.eurodressage.com/2012/04/25/walter-and-giddy-shire-crossbreds-career-dressage

 

[paddi22]

and at the end of the day no-one can make you feel inadequate apart from yourself. that's a deeper issue happening than just thinking people dislike cobs, and it won't be solved by changing horse, the inadequacy will just move onto not being hard on yourself for not being able to do X,Y or Z instead.

 

[Pink Gorilla]

Wow what an overwhelming number of responses! Thank you ever so much everyone for taking the time to reply. I think palo is right in that it is maybe a status thing. Probably because I have been riding a long time and a lot the people I grew up riding with, and even other people who are 15-20yrs younger than me have these big powerhouse sports horses. It’s true though that my lovely cob does help me feel safe and I feel when he’s a bit older and less green he will be the sort of horse I can go out and do anything with. He is forward, light and rhythmical, so does have potential. I just need to stop worrying about what all the sports horse owners may think. Not that anyone has said anything negative to me. It is certainly my own insecurity. The dressage lady is absolutely lovely and has never said anything degrading about him or me. I’m just a little self conscious to go for a lesson, as I’ve seen how talented her clients and their horses are. Would love to go for lessons though so I can one day reach elementary with my boy. I think he’s capable of that.

 

[Pink Gorilla]

and at the end of the day no-one can make you feel inadequate apart from yourself. that's a deeper issue happening than just thinking people dislike cobs, and it won't be solved by changing horse, the inadequacy will just move onto not being hard on yourself for not being able to do X,Y or Z instead.

Yes this is a good point actually. I did still feel inadequate when I struggled to get my flashy moving, flashy looking young warmblood to behave and if anything felt under more pressure to be achieving great things with him because of his breeding and movement.