Feel like giving up more than ever

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Kirstd33

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So this is a totally despondent post and apologies for that but after some tremendous highs over the past few week, namely riding a friends pony in my first 32km endurance ride and coming 2nd with a fabulous ride at an average pace of 13kph and then taking the same pony round a fabulous 27km pleasure ride last weekend, its all come crashing down with an awful 2nd viewing on a horse yesterday.
In a nutshell I went to see an Horse last week on my own and had a fabulous first viewing, ticked 90% of the boxes on paper for the mother - teen daughter share we’ve been looking for and the first viewing went well. I took the horse for a short hack with the owner and then into a large field where I W, T and did a short canter up a fence line all without incident. Horse was very nice natured, good to handle, etc SO…. Went back optimistically yesterday this time with my daughter and thr good experienced friend (whose horse I rode at the endurance and who rents us grazing where horse is to be kept. )
Daughter rode horse first, again short hack without incident, big smiles and then took horse in the field, horse was initially a tad nappy but owner advised her to ride more positively (she’s a quiet gentle rider) so off she trotted, she asked for a short canter, whereupon horse proceeded to shoot forward and then dropped a shoulder and deposited her on the grass. To her credit she jumped back on and walked round some more. I then was persuaded to get on and the horse did exactly the same with me, I gently asked for canter, had 6-7 nice strides and then it shot forward towards a stock fence, swerved and I too went over his shoulder and splatted quite badly. Owner was shocked jumped on for a few mins but rather tellingly didn’t attempt canter as felt that the horse was rather overwhelmed (which it may well have been tbh) we untacked him, him took him back to the stable, washed him and said that we would think about it and left.
I must have hit my head quite badly as have had headache and nausea all night and very sore this morning as it’s the first time in a couple of years since I’ve come off, daughter has fared a bit better with youth on her side. Feel embarrassed, more like novices than ever, despite recent achievements and that owning another horse (our coblet is retired) is just not going to happen for us at all. Friend still really likes the horse and thinks we shouldn’t discount it as it’s only 5 and homebred and only been ridden by the owner and a couple of people but I’m not sure.
 
I won't comment on the horse you went to view as I am sure there are plenty more likely to give a useful opinion than I would be.

But please, please get yourself checked out as soon as possible. If you have had headache and nausea it is very possible you have serious concussion. That is far more important than finding a new horse right now IMHO.
 
definitely get yourself checked out and count yourself lucky you didn’t purchase this horse and then find out that it’s quite skilled in depositing riders.
I would definitely not buy it. You’d have to investigate whether it’s something physical causing it to dump people or if it’s a learned behaviour and it’d always be in the back of your mind that it could easily drop a shoulder.

If it makes you feel better I went to view a horse years ago and the sellers were complaining about all the novices coming to try this horse. I don’t consider myself a novice and at the time I was regularly jumping 1.10 courses. I came into an 80cm and totally couldn’t see a stride on this horse. The horse was v honest and went but I felt a numpty. The seller said it would be better to put the Jump up so dummy here agreed. They put it up to 1m and I still couldn’t get the stride. It launched over this jump and I cracked my hand straight into its neck, how I didn’t come off is a miracle and I could see the grimace of the owners out the corner of my eye. I had to meekly say he wasn’t for me and slope away.
 
I feel an awful lot like you, I feel like owning a nice, easy, happy-hacker type horse will never happen for me. At my current point, I’m thinking of returning my loan Cob and looking for a weekend share. It’d probably be a lot easier, but that’s just me. If you ever need a story to persuade your daughter that maybe a nice share (or continuing current arrangement) might be better, then pm me.

I can’t really say much about what I think in terms of suitability, but what I can say is, do you want to deal with an unsettled and scared version of that horse in a new home with unfamiliar people? Presumably, with it being a homebred it may not have lived anywhere else, which could make the experience more difficult.

Other than that, what Mrs J said.
 
HaplessHorse said:
I feel an awful lot like you, I feel like owning a nice, easy, happy-hacker type horse will never happen for me. At my current point, I’m thinking of returning my loan Cob and looking for a weekend share. It’d probably be a lot easier, but that’s just me. If you ever need a story to persuade your daughter that maybe a nice share (or continuing current arrangement) might be better, then pm me.

I can’t really say much about what I think in terms of suitability, but what I can say is, do you want to deal with an unsettled and scared version of that horse in a new home with unfamiliar people? Presumably, with it being a homebred it may not have lived anywhere else, which could make the experience more difficult.

Other than that, what Mrs J said.
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Thanks everyone, regarding the head both hubby and I coach football and have done lots of first aid courses to identify concussion so at this point no major red flags, eg dizziness, vision disturbance etc and I defo didn’t lose consciousness so I’m just resting and taking it easy but I promise if I get worse I’ll be straight up to A and E. Just feel so disappointed as after the first viewing I thought this one could be the one for us, but it looks like the hunt continues? We were at the stage of talking vetting but I’ve just text the owner asking for a few more days to think about it. Trouble is the horse is over 3 hour drive away if it was closer I’d pop back in a few more days and see it again?
We have shared over the past year and loved it but we’re always looking for our own again, and having done these 2 endurance rides I’d love to do some more on something of our own. And daughter would love to ride out with her friends. How can it be so hard to find something safe, sane and still fun.
 
Five year old horses *can* do this simply because they are immature - we had one that did just this and my OH & daughter were taught (by instructor) how to deal with it and get him out of it.
(I will freely admit that, being the wimpy rider I am, I refused to ride said horse while he was behaving like this!)
He did get out of it - but it was not a great situation and there were some falls in the meantime. I'm sorry to hear that you had what sounds like a nasty fall and would echo that getting checked out is essential. You certainly don't want to put yourself in that situation again.

Another explanation is that there is a physical issue causing pain. It might be simple, it might be more complicated - but who wants to take on a horse under these circumstances? You could end up spending a lot of time and money and even then there's no guarantee that it would all come right in the end.

I'm afraid that, in spite of what your friend said, I would indeed be ruling out this horse. If I'd have had your experience, I'm not sure I'd be quick to trust the horse and would always be worried that it could take off and dump me.

I know exactly how you feel and in a way it's worse because you had such great success with the recent endurance rides. I remember going out for the best day ever with the bloodhounds and then having a total epic the following week, after which I went on Facebook and told everyone I wanted to give up.

As others have said, the right horse for you is out there.
 
I'm sorry you've had a hard time, it's tough and I can't understand how anyone can enjoy looking for a horse.

I'd definitely swerve this one, maybe he'd be fine maybe he wouldn't, no reason to chance it imo. If you really wanted I'd insist on a trial or walk away.

Dont give up though, this is the tone they start coming on the market.
 
I think we've all had a bad viewing where things went wrong. I was bucked off at one viewing. It happens.

Finding the right horse isn't easy, especially when it has to suit two people. Hang in there! You have to kiss a lot of frogs but it'll all be worth it when you find the right one.

Also, i once had a right telling off from a nurse when I turned up at A&E the day after a fall. She said that if you come off a horse at speed and bang your head, you should ALWAYS get checked out straight away even if you feel ok.
 
It's quite conceivable that the horse hasn't done it before, if a youngster has only ever had experience of a single rider then different riders can throw them off, especially a few new ones across a couple days, that being said I think it's not the horse for you regardless as it will likely worsen once its away from home for the first time. I would perhaps look older if you're happy to, 12yrs+.

Hope you're feeling better soon!
 
Personally I wouldn't go back to this horse, I bought a youngster that did exactly this in the arena, would suddenly take off, get to the fence & drop the shoulder. I had him for 3 years in the end I sold him to a hacking home. It was a bit of a mystery why he did it as I'm not someone who does a lot in the arena but I lost trust in him.
 
I was dumped off a horse within seconds of mounting, hadn't even walked a step when it went berserk. It took down the dealers staff member who was holding the head also.

This one has got both you and your daughter off. If you proceed, the behaviour will be more likely to get worse rather than better once you move the horse to another, unfamiliar yard, walk away.
 
As you said yourself, it was telling the owner didn’t canter him herself. If this were my horse and two people trying him had come off, and it was genuinely the ‘first time he’d ever done it’, I’d be hopping straight on and taking him for a good old canter round the field myself. Overwhelmed my xrsx.
 
I wouldn't be looking at this horse again. He could be a five year old who hasn't done a lot, or a five year old who was started too early. Knowing how to drop a shoulder and deposit the rider would be a red flag for me. And please remember that not all owners are honest when it comes to selling a horse. Sad but true.
 
thanks all for the advice so generously given, today thankfully my head is better but my body resembles a patchwork quilt that hopefully will abate but annoying as I can’t run and it’s genuinely knocked my confidence. I’ve asked to ride a share horse tomorrow for a gently amble to restore my faith in lovely horses as he is an angel (they do exist)
Regarding this one the owner messaged yesterday to ask how daughter and I were and I replied saying black and blue and somewhat surprised with how the viewing went and genuinely weren’t expected that after the first viewing. She’s replied saying that we should think carefully about whether he’s the horse for us, possibly implying that we are too novice for him? I’m not offended as such as we are hobby riders who ride for relaxation and pleasure and this has defo confirmed that I DO NOT bounce anymore like I used to. She has also said she wants to do a bit more with him herself over the next few weeks which also suggests she realises there may be a few things that need attention? She’s genuinely nice and I get the feeling the horsey scene we maybe entering into (endurance) is a small one with strong jungle vibes
 
I tried out a horse for a share many moons ago. Got dumped pretty quickly and that made me question my abilities so much that I gave up looking. But I came back to horses in the end. I would say steer away from this one and look for more of a schoolmaster or plodding type. Glad you’re not seriously injured.
 
Kirstineridesagain said:
I tried out a horse for a share many moons ago. Got dumped pretty quickly and that made me question my abilities so much that I gave up looking. But I came back to horses in the end. I would say steer away from this one and look for more of a schoolmaster or plodding type. Glad you’re not seriously injured.
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Thanks we’ll keep looking, unfortunately with having got the bug for endurance I need more than a plod as the graded rides do have minimum paces eg KPH that are allowed so I need something forward going but sensible and straightforward and with good brakes!
 
Kirstd33 said:
Thanks we’ll keep looking, unfortunately with having got the bug for endurance I need more than a plod as the graded rides do have minimum paces eg KPH that are allowed so I need something forward going but sensible and straightforward and with good brakes!
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You’re looking for the magical unicorn that we all want - they are out there, but hard to find. I hope one turns up soon!
 
Kirstd33 said:
Thanks we’ll keep looking, unfortunately with having got the bug for endurance I need more than a plod as the graded rides do have minimum paces eg KPH that are allowed so I need something forward going but sensible and straightforward and with good brakes!
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5yo can go through some really challenging stages (2 helmet replacements in 2 weeks is a record I don't want to repeat) so perhaps just not that young. I had to work very, very hard to get mine settled on group rides and endurance as a 5yo would have blown his mind. He would have exhausted himself in 2 hours jogging and bucking.

Older horses who have been on group rides, hunt rides, fun rides etc will hopefully have had someone else get the sillies out of them so you can crack on with what you want to do.
 
Maybe look for the sort who’s a bit out of practice but has done it before? My “ploddy” cob has done endurance before and (should I decide to keep her) can do it again.

Any horse can do endurance once they’re fit and ready. So definitely don’t discount the ploddy, safe cob. They’re usually not as ploddy as they might initially appear once they’ve lost weight, but they usually keep a degree of sanity. Just be aware that it might take a bit of time and effort to get there, but at least you’ll get there in one piece.
 
Doesnt need to be a cob to be safe. I have shared 2 ultra safe Irish horses who have been very very similar. I think it is due to one's riding. One shapes the hrse by the way one rides it. I sometimes even call my current share by the name of my previous share.
 
I paid
Kirstd33 said:
Thanks we’ll keep looking, unfortunately with having got the bug for endurance I need more than a plod as the graded rides do have minimum paces eg KPH that are allowed so I need something forward going but sensible and straightforward and with good brakes!
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My cob can be a steady plod for me albeit nicely off the leg,not sharp.I like that.My trainer likes her more forward and she achieves that quite easily.
 
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