Feeling guilty

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PC Steele

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Lately I have been schooling my horse and every time I finish the session I feel guilty that I have ridden badly and have done my lovely horse an injustice :-( eg. If I'm cantering and he does a change to the outside and I haven't asked for it instead of just riding counter canter for a few strides and do a nice change back I get annoyed and change back immediately and he gets in a fluster :-( my poor poor horse. I need a bit more patience sometimes feeling very annoyed :-(
 
I sometimes find myself forgetting my lad is only 6 and expecting him to act like a much older more experienced horse. I always feel guilty if I've jumped in too quickly thinking he is playing up when actually it's just babyness
 
You know your post struck a cord with me because I always felt guilty riding my new horse. I never thought I was good enough and I genuinley thought I was letting him down.

I've started having lessons and even after the first lesson I am amazed at the change in us both. I've gone from hating school work and growling at him (which upsets him big time) for not 'getting' what I've asked to just really enjoying our schooling.

I have another lesson on Friday and I cant wait, its like a revelation to be honest :)
 
Yeah have regular lessons and in my lesson I ride well, however when I'm left on my own I get frustrated if things aren't going ok. Got to a point now where I'm a bit scared to school on my own in case I ride like an arse!!!!
 
PC Steele said:
Yeah have regular lessons and in my lesson I ride well, however when I'm left on my own I get frustrated if things aren't going ok. Got to a point now where I'm a bit scared to school on my own in case I ride like an arse!!!!
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I think you need to remember that it is most likely that the horse is doing what you ask but you are not asking for what you think you are asking for. When in your lessons your RI will be reminding you how to ask correctly for exactly what you want.
 
Also dont put so much pressure on yourself. Take it back a step and if you go in thinking you will school doing xyz but its not working for you that day change it round and school something different and end on a good note rather than force it.

A couple of weeks ago I had it in my head we would do a warm up and then run through a dressage test ..... Well it all ended very badly with us both upset with each other and said dressage test a misserable distant memory .... If it was now and I wanted to practice a dressage test and we weren't feeling it I would stop and do something he was going to get ... if that makes sense? rather than get annoyed with him and make us misserable!

I also dont school for very long either. If I plan to practice some transitions and he is bang on it then our session lasts ten minutes and we go for a nice stroll up the lane to finish off ... Happy horse and happy rider :)
 
PC Steele said:
Yeah have regular lessons and in my lesson I ride well, however when I'm left on my own I get frustrated if things aren't going ok. Got to a point now where I'm a bit scared to school on my own in case I ride like an arse!!!!
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This is me, exactly.

I get very frustrated riding sometimes, especially when practicing things we had done in our lesson the day before and they don't go as well as they did before.

My RI always says to me that there's nothing wrong with taking it a step back if you feel like it's not going well. There's no use getting frustrated and angry - and she's right. It won't do you or your horse any good.

If things aren't going well in the trot, I take it back down to walk, or go back to an exercise which I know he can do fairly well and work on that instead. Sometimes it's the best way as you will both get more out of it
 
Now I feel guilty....my ex racer can counter canter in her sleep. I don't do much dressage it stresses me out and i'm a bit naughty because when she is counter cantering I very rarely change it (mainly because this is what she has been trained to do and she hasn't been out of racing that long), I just wait until she changes it herself.....this is provided i've even noticed!
 
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Ok back away from the school. get out hacking relax and school whilst hacking. just ease of your self . its meant to be fun so go hacking do some leg yield a turn on fore opening gates etc work on your position and aids whilst relaxing. stop beating self up lessons hacking and chilling hun :)
 
I always feel the same, don't worry! I try not to get annoyed at him, but I do occasionally ask for things too suddenly which flusters him too, and feel like I flap about a bit asking for transitions and he gets p*ssed off.
 
I feel a bit guilty for getting annoyed with my boy today :/ he decided to spook at everything in the school despite having seen it everyday and when he spooks he doesn't just step sideways it's like an almighty explosion and then not listening lol so we only did a walk schooling session because I didn't want to have to fight him! He's just moved fields into one with lots of grass and it was windy so he was probably just being full of himself but it was like arghhhh!!!
 
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