Feeling guilty

[Dancing_Diva]

Yesterday we unexpectedly lost our 11 year old King Charles whilst under an GA at the vets.

He had a grade 3 heart mummer but otherwise he was a healthy happy chap. He went in to have his teeth out. We was explained the risks and knew it was a massive risk to him and that the chances of him dying under GA was high. I also had a gut feeling that he'd pass away whilst there (I always have a sixth sense when it comes to whether an animal, whether it be mine or someone else's if it'll pass before it does or not!)

Me and my mum are both regretting having had it done, if we hadn't put him under GA he'd still be here with us and happy. Now his gone 😞

I'm practical and have a lot of veterinary knowledge so I know that if he had of come through the op , or even never had it, then there would have still been the chance that his heart would have stopped on him at any given time at home it was just a matter of when due to the heart. The vets did all they could to bring him back but he would have been brain dead so they made the choice to let him go. I agree with the choice they made but with my mum thinking that it's her fault and she shouldn't have put him through the op I'm starting to feel the same way!

We have four other dogs at home, the house has never been so quiet. He was my mums valentines present 11 years ago and our first dog.

We're traveling down to collect his ashes from Cherry Tree Pet Crem later today which then makes it real. I then have to take my other dog for her social visit to the same vets tomorrow and collect his lead/collar and don't know if I can go and keep a strong face and not show any emotion! It's all part of their job, they deal with upset clients a lot so not like their not used to it. I just don't like showing I'm upset to people and find it hard not to show it in my voice when I talk about it right now!

Sorry this post was long, cookies to everyone who took the time to read this x

 

[dorito]

So sorry about your dog.

Don't have regrets, if you didn't have his teeth seen to that would have caused other problems, you made your decision with his best interests at heart.

 

[Emilieu]

So sorry about your loss. At least he knew no pain. Massive hugs and don't be afraid to bubble all over people- I think most people understand or can imagine how it is to lose these little friends xx

Ps. Guilt is part of the process. If you hadn't taken him and he had died at home you would find something else to feel guilty over xx

 

[SadKen]

Oh no, I'm so sorry, but please don't be cruel to yourself. You made a decision based on the facts you had, which is that the op would be in his best interests. Perhaps think about the fact that you dropped him off at the vets in good shape and he went in a happy, loved chap. Also I think these things happen for a reason and I genuinely think that animals and people sometimes choose their time to go.

My GSD has a heart murmur and we also know he could go at any time (he's currently very healthy though). I have taken comfort in the fact that if he does, it'll be very quick and pretty painless. This is really the best any of us can hope for; a full life with love and care, and a swift and painless end.

I have a real soft spot for CKCs - they're the biggest little dogs I know. As Emilieu says above, guilt is part of the process. Sending you a computer hug.