Feeling guilty

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Kirstd33

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Yes this is a bit of a pity post, and I'm not sure what I'm looking for.....maybe just some solidarity? But I just feel guilty for not spending enough quality time with my ponies currently, everything is so rushed and I feel like I'm even struggling to do the bare minimum with them.

Basically they live out 24/7 and up until yesterday I had 3 (retired coblet, new standies and friends endurance pony) but my friend came and took her endurance pony home back to hers a week or so early than planned due to the sudden downturn in weather after he'd had a 3 month holiday with mine at the field, So that should help with the day to day care, but also cause an issue as my retired coblet doesn't like being left alone and also the 3 yearlings in the field next door have finally gone in for the winter so I've just realised that I can't take my new standie to my booked lesson tomorrow as coblet will turn himself inside out on his own for the hour that I'm away.

I've had standieboy a month now and in some respects have done quite a bit, eg shoes off, fitted for boots, had the saddler out to fit a saddle a couple of times etc but actually haven't ridden him as much as I would have liked by this point. Working 32 hours a week in a school, the lack of light, and the amount of rain we've had has curtailed going out on quite a few occasions. I dash to the field on the way to work, like this morning, have 30 mins to bucket feed, check rugs, fill water, poo pick a couple of barrows as they're now on the hardstanding area with a round bale and then its time to scoot to work and pretty much do the same in the evenings in the dark with a head torch. Thankfully have a early finish today at 1.30pm so hoping to take them both out for a walk in hand, I want to get to a point where I can ride standie and lead coblet off him but need to try it out with my daughter on foot a few times first!

Mid -term plan for when I'm off over xmas/early new year is to move Standieboy up to my friends house to live with her 3, where I'll have to pay a nominal small "livery charge" and pitch in for hay but at least he will be part stabled and riding will be easier and then get someone to share the rented field with me, hopefully with a similarly retired gelding to keep coblet company.

Moan over! Is anyone else finding it all a bit of a slog currently or just me?!
 
Kirstd33 said:
Moan over! Is anyone else finding it all a bit of a slog currently or just me?!
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Not just you! I am fairly spoiled in that I have assisted DIY, arena with lights etc and I'm not adjusting to a whole new routine like you are, but it's still a bit grim!

If it helps to hear, the horses probably don't care that much about quality time, so long as their needs are met, so feeling guilty achieves absolutely nothing except making yourself more miserable. Banish the guilt! Do what you can, rest when you can, only 4 weeks till solstice!
 
When my farrier was past at the weekend I told her my horses were pretty much feral at this point 😂

Not really because they come in every night but other than feed, rugs and in and out I’m getting nothing real done with them, other than when Darci demands scratches when her rugs off. It’s dark when they go out and it’s dark before I leave work. The weekends here have been hellish for most so no weather to do anything but it’s fine. With Christmas approaching the shortest day is too.
 
It’s always harder once we lose the light in the evenings. It’s the darkness more than the cold and wet that caisss issues but the horses don’t care. Any way you can have a third as a livery? Foster a pony or a retired one? Would you like mine 🤣. You’re keeping on top of chores give yourself some credit for that. Ride and lead is easier than you think. I’ve found most horses take to it well and quite like it.
 
That sounds pretty much normal for this time of year.
I have four "at home", only my stables are really at home and all but one of the fields are roughly a 10 min walk away. In one way, this is great as it's minimal care necessary: a feed and check up a day, top up water every so often and I don't poo pick.
Three are unridden (too old and too young), however I want to bring my pony mare back into work after her having a foal. The catch is that I work 8.30 to 17.30 so basically it's dark any time I'm not working in the week and the foal is not properly weaned yet (he's fine with an hours separation for riding). And I'm really struggling to find time for this. I'm normally lucky, in that I just trailer up my mare straight from the field on dark evenings and take her to the RS 5 min down the road to use the schools with lights, but I don't feel that the foal is ready for this yet. So Little Madam will go on livery for a month from mid december to finish the weaning and it will make riding her easier in the darkest part of the year. When she comes back, I should be able to trailer her out again.
 
Thanks everyone, it so good to hear that others are time strapped also and just accept the inevitability of winter, since I came off the livery yard with coblet its a little more solitary and whilst I love keeping my own hours and having the horses out 24/7 having no-one to moan with is a down side.

Those with horses living out 24/7 do you check once daily? I have a camera on the field so I guess can see them 24/7.
 
I only get to see D 3 times a week in daylight the rest is darkness now. If the stars align I ride 3 times but it's dependent on weather, plans with husband, not getting sick, the arena being available or hacking buddies free. So the general guilt of not doing enough with pony or choosing to do something with husband when I could be riding etc etc. my plans to get better travelling have been put on hold. Things definitely pick up in Feb just going to power on ...
 
I only go once a day but three others go to the field at different times so would soon know if there were issues. I spend about half an hour there it’s not much but he only wants his food. Doesn’t like being touched. I do feel sad for him in vile weather. Especially now he’s lost his buddy.
 
pistolpete said:
I only go once a day but three others go to the field at different times so would soon know if there were issues. I spend about half an hour there it’s not much but he only wants his food. Doesn’t like being touched. I do feel sad for him in vile weather. Especially now he’s lost his buddy.
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Yes I feel sad for them also in the awful weather, however a tougher friend told me that it was anthropomorphism, and that they're appropriately rugged, have ad lib hay and company so that I shouldn't feel too guilty.
 
I have also been feeling guilty, even though I know my horse is a happy and contented soul now his muzzle is largely off. I work all hours to afford him and I am feeling shortchanged of the time I get to spend with him. Winter to spring is my busiest time workwise, so as long as he's uninjured and out with friends as much as I can manage that's the best I can do. Currently still managing 10-12 hours turnout a day with some overnights too, so I know he is fortunate compared to other yard t/o hours in my area.

eta: I still go twice a day to check, even if he's out. I found a horse dead in the field once, it has stayed with me.
 
Kirstd33 said:
Yes I feel sad for them also in the awful weather, however a tougher friend told me that it was anthropomorphism, and that they're appropriately rugged, have ad lib hay and company so that I shouldn't feel too guilty.
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I am both you, and the tough friend at different times. Mine had her first night out on the hardstanding instead of in the stable last night and I was swinging between "what if she is cold, what if she misses her friends *, what if she doesn't pee in the shelter and lets her bladder burst, what if she jumps out of the paddock" and "wise up, idiot" every half an hour. Turned up this morning to a perfectly happy pony, not even chilly. Only complaint was that her breakfast didn't have enough grass nuts in it.

*she has others beside she just doesn't like them 😂
 
If it helps you feel any better, my two haven't seen a grooming brush in about 2 months (but get their feet picked out twice daily), they're pretty much being brought in, fed, mucked out, turned out in the morning and having their water buckets topped up when needed x

The clocks changing put a stop to pretty much anything and everything I find in winter as I'm on DIY livery, so I just focus on making sure that they're warm, fed, watered, stables are mucked out and their basic needs are met x I do try and squeeze a ride in on the weekend if possible, but then I'm praying that it isn't monsoon downpours/end of days biblical rain as Baggs my older lad detests the rain (I don't blame him!) and is a right monkey if I try and ride in the rain - even if I wrap him up from head to hoof in as much waterproof gear as I can.....x

Winter is kind of a given that it is a struggle unfortunately but I totally get where you are coming from x
 
Mine is on 5 day part livery with a school and lights and last week and the week before I only saw him at weekends, which is also the only time I will see him in the daylight until about March. I am not riding at the moment as I am doing some investigations as he's a bit unhappy, but also I have had a lot of things that need my attention outside of horse responsibilities and I haven't mentally been faring super well for various reasons, so something had to give. I have been telling myself he is brilliantly cared for by YM and won't be standing there pining to work but I completely understand the guilty feeling!
 
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Kirstd33 said:
Thanks everyone, it so good to hear that others are time strapped also and just accept the inevitability of winter, since I came off the livery yard with coblet its a little more solitary and whilst I love keeping my own hours and having the horses out 24/7 having no-one to moan with is a down side.

Those with horses living out 24/7 do you check once daily? I have a camera on the field so I guess can see them 24/7.
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I'm very variable. It can be just once a day, I'd prefer twice a day and occasionally, it's three times a day.

Where they are at the minute is next to a road that dog walkers use and overlooked by the owner of the field. Everyone knows they're my horses and would get in touch with me if anything was visibly wrong. I did a lunch time drive by today because it was their first night in this particular field. All fine and standing, I'll get a proper look when I feed them tonight.
 
Kirstd33 said:
Thanks everyone, it so good to hear that others are time strapped also and just accept the inevitability of winter, since I came off the livery yard with coblet its a little more solitary and whilst I love keeping my own hours and having the horses out 24/7 having no-one to moan with is a down side.

Those with horses living out 24/7 do you check once daily? I have a camera on the field so I guess can see them 24/7.
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Unless I'm on assisted, I go twice a day whether they're out all the time or stabled. There's a couple of other liveries at my current place but I like to see them with my own eyes. If it's your own place with no other liveries, I'd really not be comfortable just going once, a lot could happen in 23 hours!

ETA, I do understand the guilt of feeling like you're not doing much with them, but then I quickly remind myself that as long as they're fed and watered, they're happy, and the less I do with them, hopefully the longer they'll go on!
 
I think this is the reality of winter but I share your guilt! I have 1 on full livery and 1 retired living out 24/7 with a companion, I'm generally at work 7am-7pm. My interaction with the retired one lately is for about 5 minutes in the dark in the evening (companion horses owner does them in the mornings) when he comes down and has his dinner, I head off poo-picking and haying up the fields while he eats, give him a quick treat before I leave and then jump in the car to rush over to the other one. Quick scratch and fuss, throw tack on, squeeze a ride in, skip out, give a carrot and a kiss on the nose then rush home to try and get back before 9pm so OH doesn't moan too much! I feel like the retired one gets zero attention, though thankfully he's always been pretty feral and only really interested in mugging me for food anyway :rolleyes: and the ridden one must roll his eyes when he see's me coming as he knows he's just going to be worked. 🙃 I don't see ridden one at all 2 nights a week as I work late and don't have time to squeeze him in as well as sorting the retired one. I'm not sure why as there aren't necessarily any extra hours in the day, but summer just seems so much easier!
 
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