feeling overhorsed - Any comments or similar experiences welcomed!

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FestiveBoomBoom

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Hey Guys,

I'm new to this so any comments would be greatly appreciated. Basically I have owned my horse since March, he is 6 and unfortunately has had a series of unfortunate injuries that started in May and he has been out of work since then. He is now sound and I have had the ok from my vet to start bringing him back into work. However, I have confidence issues as a result of several nasty falls over the past few yrs and my current horse chucked me off about a week before his first injury.
I am considering sending him off to be restarted and schooled but I just don't know whether I should have him back after a couple of months or whether I would be better off with more of a schoolmaster type, something that I can just have fun with rather than something that realy needs bringing on. I'm so mad with myself because I really should have known better and not bought a youngster in the first place but he does have a wonderful temperament and I think he has the potential to be fantastic, I just don't have the confidence that I used to and it's really frustrating
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Sorry for the long rambling post but has this happened to anyone else? If so what did you do? Soldier on or admit defeat? I just feel like i've had nothing but problems with him, he's always been sensitive from day one, kicking out when unsure of something, never letting me mount him from the block, freaking out in new situations etc but he was wondeful when I went to try him, completely easy ride. Oh how they can change in a new environment eh! - i've tried so hard to be as confident as I can but I feel like I'm running out of steam.
 
Do you know of anyone who knows you well and is also capable of doing the reschooling for you? They could then give it a go for a few weeks and also give you a good idea of if he'll be OK for you long term?
Is he saleable post injury? Do you have the time and money to have lots of help and training with him?
It's a tough decision to make but you can only decide whats best really.
 
I know how you feel.I have a confidence problem too .My horse was broken in recently at 7.He is pretty good its just me lol Before he went off to be proffesionally broken in he took off with me and I fell off,so it knocked my confidence somewhat.
I would send your horse off to be schooled.They should have you on him anyway.
Hope everything works out for you!!
 
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Do you know of anyone who knows you well and is also capable of doing the reschooling for you? They could then give it a go for a few weeks and also give you a good idea of if he'll be OK for you long term?


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Any GOOD schooling yard will assess the rider as well as the horse. We always do - we have a couple of schoolmasters and they tell us even faster than we can spot it just how capable a rider is. (If you put a nervous novice on Sky he just stands at the mounting block until I tell him what to do!
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) Then we start on the horse. And the job is never complete without horse and rider having lessons together so we can ensure the partnership has 'cement' (and I'm not talking about glueing rider into saddle.) And if it's NOT going to work, we tell rider sooner rather than later so as not to waste their money!
 
If you got 20 replies to your post and every single one advised you to sell him, would you feel relieved? If you wouldn't and you have someone who could reschool him for you and continue to help and support you, then it might be worth giving it another go.

Really only you can decide. Good luck.
 
Maybe try having a few lessons with a good instructor first! It's amazing how they can build your confidence, but also explain your situation to them and they will be able to work with you and help you decide if hes right for you!
 
I felt like this with my mare, she was a handfull for me and i had lost a lot of confidence with a previous horse.
To cut a long story short, I perservered, got help from instructors, physio etc and things have worked out well, four years on she can still be hard work but now im confident enough to deal with it.
Each to their own though, you have to know when you are over horsed and whether you can do the best thing for them by sticking with them or selling, the horse should come first IMO.
Good luck
 
Thanks for all your comments so far, I love this forum! To be honest I think i've probably already made up my mind, It's just hard and I feel bad, for myself and him but I think selling him is going to be the best thing for both of us. He is sellable now, all injuries have healed and he is totally sound. But I don't want to sell him roughed off from the field. Want him to be back in work

Although I'm experienced I totally lack confidence now, especially jumping and I just can't expect him to instil confidence in me showjumping, xc, hunting etc when it's all new to him and I really want to do all of these things. The other fear I have is that if and when I do buy another horse, it's all going to go t1ts up again!
 
I was in a similar position as you, and now in hindsight, i would have sold on.

In my case i had lost my confidence with a previous horse, but i didn't want to admit it. I acquired a similar horse (in looks as well as breed) and although we started of well, an injury caused her to have time off work and when it came to me riding her again- she was just too much for me.

We struggled on with help from a good friend, and we did get 6 months of good work from her before she went lame again.

In hindsight, i should never have had her, or sold her on once she became sound the first time round. I now have a horse i have had for nearly 9 years(
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) who i haven't really achieved anything with apart from gradually chipping away at my confidence.
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I can only give you my experience, but if i was given the chance to do it over again, i would definitely go for a allrounder horse (which i hopefully will be getting next year after i have finished my EVN) rather then struggle on with an unsuitable horse.

I still have my first pony, who is now retired and I miss the 'fun' of riding a horse without the worry of it trying to chuck me off or mess about and simple things like going out for a safe hack on a sensible fun horse!
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Sorry, i have rambled on! but if you think it is worth having a go with your horse first then i would definitely have a go, but if you feel in your heart that it is not going to work then i would sell on a get something you can have fun on- life is short after all!
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Good luck!
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x
 
Thanks Dottie, It's comforting to know others have been through/are going through the same thing. I mean I'm sure it's a common thing, people buying horses that ultimately don't work out but it's so gutting and really annoying too cos i've spent so much on vets bills not to mention the heartache of the last 6 months trying to figure out the best course of action. I've really only had 2 months of riding him before the injuries started and now I don't have the confidence to bring him back into work - nothing like feeling like a failure!
 
If you can afford to send him to be re-schooled, why not do that and then decide in a couple of months time whether he is the horse for you or whether he should be sold? If he is re-schooled it will be easier for you to get on without the usual problems of brining a young horse back to work and if he is to be sold it will be easier to sell him fit and in work than from the field.
 
As an adult amateur but experienced owner I totally recommend that you allow him to find the home he needs and you get the horse you need. Keeping him isn't doing him any favours as he is likely to get worse making it harder for him to find a good home down the line.Weve all made mistakes just admit it and move on.

After my previous horse was PTS and a gap of a year I bought a horse for £7000 that was too much for me. Napping to arena out of gate and spinning around - he was bolshy on the ground too.

I had him for four weeks and I thought NO I want to enjoy being with my horse, its expensive and I don't want to be injured. I don't want a battle or challenge every time I go up the yard so off he went to a reputable dealer and he went to a lovely jumping home with a better and more confident rider. The dealer offered me a direct swap for another horse after about a month as he was taking time to sell so I got my lovely SP whom I love to bits and is a joy to own - I never ever not look forward to seeing him and we have done a bit of everything up to a reasonable level. He still has his challenges but they are challenges I can deal with.

Good Luck
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I would go with your instincts and by the sounds of it selling is probably what you would feel happier doing. I think it is very admirable of you to realise your limitations, admit your confidence crisis and to put your horse first and you realising you cannot give him what he needs. Perhaps you could ask a good friend or trainer to sell him for you so he can be shown at his best. I know what it is like to lose your confidence and getting on a horse you do not have faith in is a very scary thought, let alone actually doing it.

Good luck and I hope you find a horse to fulfil all your needs.

xxx
 
If you can't afford any reschooling to get him saleable, I can recommend getting a confident friend to ride him for you.

Being able to get friends to ride mine when I've been having confidence issues has helped so much.

I got my 15yr old god daughter to have the first canter on my youngster because I couldn't quite bring myself to try it.

God daughter was quite happy with the motorbiking and bucking! And once I realised it wasn't all that bad, I got back on !!

Honestly - it happens to a lot of us - confidence problems! But if you've made your mind up to sell, then don't feel a failure - you're not.

Sell him to someone that suits him and buy yourself a new horse that suits you.

Good luck
 
Sorry if this is a long rant.. does have a meaning
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I had an experience like this but also twice in a row, I bought a young horse after trying her and she was lovely.. however when I got her home she was a nightmare, and knocked my confidence after continually fighting when riding and being thrown off. She was lovely on the floor but we didn't click. I sold her on and bought a schoolmaster who was very nice too however we didn't know that he had hormonal problems and back problems, so eventually after trying to calm him down and give him a nice retirement, it got to the stage of not being able to get near him or his field companion. (He was very attached to her). After a hard decision we had him PTS after him being on hormones for quite a while with no improvement and the only other consideration was an illegal injection which could of damaged his organs. First horse was also PTS but not through any of our fault, hopefully now both of them are happily munching away up there!
To cut a long story short, I should not have bought the youngster but then I wouldn't of had a lovely friend on the ground, and I wouldn't of got the second horse if not for her and he could of ended up who knows where. Right now though I have a lovely 5 year old who isn't stupid in the slightest, is a LOT smaller (I went from 15.3hh/16.1hh to a 14.2hh which I'm not too big on) which gives me the confidence to be firm but fair. He's also very nice and steady in all ways especially jumping so I can gain my confidence and go further with him
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It depends on the bond in which you have with a horse, I hope you figure out the right choice for both of you! And losing your confidence is nothing to feel awful about, its just something that happens!
 
Hey don't feel bad. I've had two TB's since back in riding and finally realised they weren't right for me. Oscar was sold at Christmas to a great little teenager and they're out winning everything - she won her first ODE a month ago and had an overall dressage score of 86% over the season! This is a horse who's napping was just getting stupid.

I love Ty to bits but have put him on loan to a knowledgable older lady who loves him to bits and doesn't give a poo when he spins with her......

I've brought myself a 14.2 pony and she's got spirit, she's a little madam, is handy with her back legs and is like a pogo stick sometimes but becuase of her size and her personality it doesn't scare me - I've found the right horse for me (I hope!)

What I'm saying is that we get attached to horses and I struggled for 3 years with the wrong ones.....you have to understand your limitations and go out and enjoy yourself....I have no qualms taking my girl out on her own when I get a lorry (hope I don't live to regret that!) and she's just a little jumping machine which is what I want.

Good luck with whatever you decide.....
 
Just to add the phrase 'horses for courses' is so true......he'll probably suit someone else down to the ground and unless you're our to produce horses........there's really no point putting yourself through it....
 
Poor you, I no the feeling. i got a tb on loan for my first horse & was completely out of my league. We had problems riding, which then spread to the ground & then in the end I couldn't even go in the stable with him. I was terrified at the thought of going to the yard, at the end. Luckily his owners came to get him back (he never behaved like that with them) and I ended up with a sparky cob who is a different horse completely. We can do anything now (not very well but that's my fault haha). I love & trust him 100%. Riding should be, on the whole, a pleasure. Be good to yourself and the horse. Sell him to someone who he will have fun with & get yourself a best friend. Hope it all works out x
 
Thanks so much for all your comments and advice it's made me feel loads better that I'm doing the right thing . I shouldn't have said i'm a failure, that's not the right word. More realistic but oh so disapointed! I have found a yard near me that specialises in re-starting and schooling. Have chatted to the owner who seems fantastic and I'm going to meet her this Saturday so we can discuss our options. I really want to get something else but I must FORCE myself not to rush into anything, although I have already seen an amazing 9 yr old cob advertised that has been there and done it, very smart boy! But no, I can't let myself get anything else before I have the current one back in work and sold to a lovely home. That's the top priority now!
 
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