Crosshill Pacers
Well-Known Member
Am sat here crying my eyes out thinking about my old horse, Smokey. I thought I'd tracked down her current owner, but he told me tonight he only had her daughter (that we bred), and that his family had never owned her. Now I don't know where she ended up after she was sold on from the guy who bought her from us, nearly seven years ago.
Smokey was my first pacer, inappropriately bought as a riding pony for me when I was 13. It was nothing short of a disaster, I broke most of my bones during our time together and spent more time on the floor than in the saddle. Despite this, we somehow took part in PC events, had a clear round in my local show's jumping class and hunted.
She was a fruitcake, but only when ridden. To handle, I know I will never meet a sweeter or kinder horse in my lifetime. She was my best friend, and she got me through some seriously hard years as I was growing up, both at home and in school. I used to sit in her manger at night while she ate and cry my eyes out, telling her all the things that were getting to me. Every once in a while she'd nudge me with her nose, then when I laughed she'd go back to eating. When she had her first (and only) foal, she was the perfect mother. She used me as free babysitting and used to leave me entertaining Ginge while she wandered off to eat. She trusted me completely and I trusted her.
After eight further (failed) attempts to get her in foal, my dad told me she had to be sold. I was sixteen, and heartbroken. She wasn't suitable for a young rider and she couldn't be bred from. I understood his decision but I cried for weeks. I went with her to her new home, then cried all the way back in the vehicle. I still remember what I wore and what the weather was like and how my dad told me never to lose my optimistic nature.
She'd be 19 now. I contacted the man I believed to be her owner to find out if she was still alive - if she had died then I could grieve for her. Now I feel like I'm in limbo. She wasn't just a horse, she was my best friend and I feel like a small part of me is missing. I tried to explain all this to OH on the phone just now but ended up a blubbering mess. He loves his horses but he admits he hasn't felt the way I describe feeling about Smokey. I thought I'd come on here because some of you will understand. I'm not looking for advice, or sympathy, just someone to say 'I know how you feel'. She's gone, and I knew when she was sold I would never see her again, but 7 years later it still breaks my heart thinking of her.
Wherever you are Smokey, I hope you know that I did, and always will, love you xx
Smokey was my first pacer, inappropriately bought as a riding pony for me when I was 13. It was nothing short of a disaster, I broke most of my bones during our time together and spent more time on the floor than in the saddle. Despite this, we somehow took part in PC events, had a clear round in my local show's jumping class and hunted.
She was a fruitcake, but only when ridden. To handle, I know I will never meet a sweeter or kinder horse in my lifetime. She was my best friend, and she got me through some seriously hard years as I was growing up, both at home and in school. I used to sit in her manger at night while she ate and cry my eyes out, telling her all the things that were getting to me. Every once in a while she'd nudge me with her nose, then when I laughed she'd go back to eating. When she had her first (and only) foal, she was the perfect mother. She used me as free babysitting and used to leave me entertaining Ginge while she wandered off to eat. She trusted me completely and I trusted her.
After eight further (failed) attempts to get her in foal, my dad told me she had to be sold. I was sixteen, and heartbroken. She wasn't suitable for a young rider and she couldn't be bred from. I understood his decision but I cried for weeks. I went with her to her new home, then cried all the way back in the vehicle. I still remember what I wore and what the weather was like and how my dad told me never to lose my optimistic nature.
She'd be 19 now. I contacted the man I believed to be her owner to find out if she was still alive - if she had died then I could grieve for her. Now I feel like I'm in limbo. She wasn't just a horse, she was my best friend and I feel like a small part of me is missing. I tried to explain all this to OH on the phone just now but ended up a blubbering mess. He loves his horses but he admits he hasn't felt the way I describe feeling about Smokey. I thought I'd come on here because some of you will understand. I'm not looking for advice, or sympathy, just someone to say 'I know how you feel'. She's gone, and I knew when she was sold I would never see her again, but 7 years later it still breaks my heart thinking of her.
Wherever you are Smokey, I hope you know that I did, and always will, love you xx
and secondly, my cat Chairman Meow reappeared halfway through my OP after being MIA since Saturday. We thought he'd met Mr Fox but then I heard his meowing - hence the name - so had to abandon typing, use my dressing gown to mop my face up and run downstairs to get him! I don't care if people think I get too attached to my animals, it's what they're there for 
