Feeling so guilty ...

[Bluebells]

My 11 year old daughter started loaning a horse a fortnight ago. My partner and I went with her at the weekend as she got him out of the paddock to bring him to the stables. At the same time another girl was getting her horse.

We all came out of the paddock together and closed the paddock gate behind us, then walked across a small field and through another gate into a very small square before exiting through another gate which then takes us on a stretch of grass, past other fields (fenced and open) down to the main road.

My daughter had her horse, the other girl had her horse and my partner and I were in this same small space. My partner closed the gate behind the horses and my daughter was just about to open the exit gate when the other horse broke free of it's lead rope and started panicking in the enclosed square and began running around.

As it moved towards me, I panicked and jumped over the fence. It then went towards my daughter and her horse (who was calm but unsettled) and her reaction was to open the gate to get herself and her new horse some space. The other horse bolted out and ran off into an open field on the left of the grass track, where his owner was able to catch him.

The thing is, I felt so ashamed of myself for not thinking of my daughter or going toward her. I didn't even look her way, I just had my eyes fixed on the other horse and got myself out of the way of possible harm. It all happened so very fast- I didn't even have time to look at my daughter, but that's no excuse. My instinct should have been to see my child and get next to my girl and take control of the horse. I'm so thankful that no one was hurt and my daughter was unharmed thanks to the calm nature of her boy .. but things could have been very different if he had spooked too. I've deliberately been making sure my partner is there with us as he is a lot braver than I am with horses, but even he didn't have time to react - but at least he didn't run off to save himself!

I just feel so unbelievably guilty for my reaction..

 

[*hic*]

Don't take this the wrong way but it sounds as though you are both novice and nervous, in which case your reaction was absolutely right, all you would have done if you'd leapt to your daughter's aid was to cause confusion and probably worse panic.

You've done exactly right by making sure your daughter has a calm sensible horse to deal with, now you need to chill out and learn from them how to deal with the situations that arise. FWIW my husband decided to stop one of the first ponies we had by grabbing the lead rope. My daughter and I had let go because we knew the pony wouldn't go far and was in a safe area. As he went for the leadrope the pony speeded up and caught him off balance. He still didn't let go of the rope as he surfed across the gravel on his face. Even now he's still inclined to hang on when things go wrong

 

[Meowy Catkin]

As you get more experienced you and your daughter will take stuff like this in your stride.

Most horses running about, having got loose (or if they're just pratting about in their field), will give you a wide berth if you slowly flap your arms up and down and say 'steady' firmly at them. It does seem that the space you were in was small, but when I read that your daughter let the loose horse out of that contained space, I did think 'no - don't let him out!' but it seems that all was well with no humans or horses injured, so no harm done.

I can add my own tale of a non horsey family member doing something silly with a loose horse. My gelding was running about the yard, having barged through the gate as I put one of the others in the field. My Dad, who was in the yard, decided that the best way to catch the horse was by grabbing his tail as he trotted past him! *face palm* Luckily, the horse didn't kick out, but ignored him and just carried on trotting and the tail (luckily quite silky) slipped through my Dad's hand.

 

[Clodagh]

Don't feel guilty - you live and learn! No one was hurt.
My Dad has never forgiven himself for the time, out on a walk, we were charged by a Highland cow with a young calf. He bolted off like Seb Coe and jumped a ditch to safety, leaving me and his lame partner to negotiate the cow. We weren't hurt either, but he did look silly.

 

[Bluebells]

Thankyou for all your patient replies and experiences - it's helped to ease my conscience a little.. especially the story about your dad jumping the ditch, Clodagh!

There is absolutely no offence taken at the comment regarding us being novices and nervous. At different levels, we all are and I joined this site so that we can all learn. My daughter was ready for expanding her confidence and skills and has been doing really well during the 2 weeks loaning Humphrey; learning to fully tack up, hack out with her friends and groom etc and she has private tuition with her riding instructor starting next month to help her get to further know Humphreys capabilities, strengths and weaknesses. I don't ride and my partner hasn't ridden for years but he's confident. We chose Humphrey for her as he is 23 years old, an ex school horse and has a friendly, gentle nature. The people who took over his yard don't have any more history on him than that but so far he has been a true gent and great with careful traffic, general noises and dogs etc. I was very impressed with how he didn't react to the situation on Saturday despite the other horse flying all over the place behind him in that small space with all those unfamiliar people. I was of course, even more impressed with my daughter for staying with him, keeping calm and not bailing out like I did!

Although we ALL knew her opening the gate was a no-no and we all shouted 'Noooo!', I think that was her knee jerk reaction to keep herself and Humphrey calm and safe. In hindsight it might actually have been the best thing she could have done, as, if Humphrey had reacted badly or she had been hurt it may have given her a real fright and affected her independence. I should just mention here that she was aware that the track that the horse bolted out to (which led to the road - which was a good 3 fields lengths away) was also gated at the road so no horses could have left the fields without jumping.

I've definitely taken on board the tip about waving gently and voicing a firm reassurance - sounds like that could well come in handy in the future!

Thanks again

 

[Meowy Catkin]

Humphry sounds wonderful.

I had to use my own tip tonight as when I went into the field (to change the electric fence battery) I had three, excited, cantering horses coming straight at me. They were hoping that the battery was edible. *sigh*

 

[Bluebells]

Ah yes, we've been warned about the 'gatecrashers'...

..and thankyou for the compliment about Humphrey. He warms our hearts already and we can't stop worrying about if he's ok and comfortable and content! It will be even better when my daughter gets her private tuition with him and they become familiar with each other and she can have long days at the stables with her friends.

Really pleased I found this site.