Feeling sorry for myself

Zirach

Zirach

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We recently had to make the very hard decision to have our boy pts. He had been in the equine unit for many weeks after severe complications from a tooth repulsion. After 3 GA op's he went downhill very quickly. This was only on Monday of last week, we have spent the week in mourning for our poor brave boy (without wishing to sound too dramatic or soppy!)

I shared him with my mum, there is such a gap in our lives that I have been 'unofficially' looking around the market, I dont have the heart to actually try anything as yet as I feel so guilty as it seems so soon.

Guess, I am feeling a little bit sorry for myself on a Sat night and am sure many of you have been through the same, how long did you wait before looking around?
 
I am so sorry to hear of your news. I have no experience of what you have been through, so can't offer any words of wisdom, but just wanted to give you a hug.
 
Sorry to hear your news. Would say dont rush into buying something, I did, and regretted it, totally wrong horse for me but felt so lost without the routine of horse ownership I bought another in 3 weeks. Give yourself plenty of time, the right one will come along
 
okay so it wasnt a horse, but when i lost my first beloved jack russel, (a beered up idiot on his way back from bucks county show ran her over in a driveway) my parents bought a new cocker puppy literally straight away and even to this day, we do not get on.
it sounds silly but my dogs are my world, and losing her and then having to face a smarmy little ball of fluff that everyone else adored really got to me, it was like they were substituting her and had forgotten about her already.

now if we lose a dog for any reason, i leave it at least 4 months before i even contemplate bringing another into our home/kennels. the relationship me and 'the thing' have isnt really fair, but i cant help it, and the last thing you want is investing in another horse to feel almost resentful that it isnt your old boy.
 
It's a horrible thing to have to do - you just have to remember the good times and remember that it was something you had to do for all the right reasons

- it's still **** though :( :(

I've had to do it twice and have been very lucky (?) that I already had another horse at the same time - in one case, a schoolmaster and the second case, a youngster - that I was running alongside. Also in both cases, it was not a surprise but a planned event for long term lamenesses

In no way a replacement for what I lost but they helped re-focus my mind on the future

I hope you feel better soon xx
 
I think you are both probably right, its just so hard - you feel so lost. My dad is disabled and so the horse was the only thing that got mum out of the house. Hopefully it will start to feel better soon......
 
So sorry to hear about your loss.

I lost my boy after 15 years. He was PTS with impaction colic.
I could barely look at another horse after it happened. After 3 months, I looked at websites and adverts, then I went to see some. I saw over 20 but none of them compared to the boy I had lost. I didn't even ride one of them, they were just not 'right'.
Then I met HIM.... !! I grabbed my hat and fell in love !

I scattered my other horses ashes in the field, so he will always be home, running free.
 
I started looking about 2 weeks after my beloved girl passed away and I got my boy about 5 weeks after she went.

I missed the routine and giving my love to a horse. I hadn't been without a horse since I was 7!

He didn't make me miss her any less but he's a lovely horse and Im really happy I got him, he really helped me to focus. Everyone is different so I would do what you feel is best for you. Do be careful you don't jump into getting the wrong horse though as that could make you feel even worse. I got my boy on loan first to make sure. After my girl there was no way I could have made do with 2nd best.

Hope it all works out for you and chin up. Loosing a precious horse is very hard.
 
Zirach said:
We recently had to make the very hard decision to have our boy pts. He had been in the equine unit for many weeks after severe complications from a tooth repulsion. After 3 GA op's he went downhill very quickly. This was only on Monday of last week, we have spent the week in mourning for our poor brave boy (without wishing to sound too dramatic or soppy!)

I shared him with my mum, there is such a gap in our lives that I have been 'unofficially' looking around the market, I dont have the heart to actually try anything as yet as I feel so guilty as it seems so soon.

Guess, I am feeling a little bit sorry for myself on a Sat night and am sure many of you have been through the same, how long did you wait before looking around?
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Dont feel guilty. Your horse has gone and is not coming back and you did the best for him however hard it seems. Feeling guilty wont bring him back and life goes on. You can get a good horse at this time of year for less money and you also have more time to look around as horses arent selling easily. If you want another then start looking but, as always, dont take the first one you see.

Equally you could wait till the spring and maybe find a horse and not have to take it through the winter. It is swings and roundabouts tbh.

Maybe I am hard, but i dont think so. I just think once they have gone, they have gone. We have our memories and photos and they will never be forgotten. I dont do ashes etc. I like to remember them in the field being little buggers and not being caught rather than in a pot on the mantelpiece.

I guess if it was me I would be keeping my ear to the ground but agree that buying on the rebound can be dangerous. So have a good look round.
 
I do agree Dozzie, we didnt have his ashes, I like to remember him how he was - I appreciate some people find this comforting, but its not really for us.

Looking around, I was quite suprised with how much further your money can go nowadays as well, like everyone has said I just need to be patient and wait for the right one.

Hoo hum.....
 
I am so so sorry and you couldnt have tried anymore for him, I know how much it hurts and what he meant to you.

Zac would want you to get another, he didnt teach you all he could for you and your mum to let it go to waste. He taught you how to sit bucks, get confident and have fun he kinda found you by by fate, your next one is out there waiting when you are ready, looking doesnt hurt at all.

I am still thinking of you both, and if you need anything you know where I am.

The biggest hugs.
 
thanks scally, you are probably right - he would like to know there was another horse out there that could take over from bucking me off in the show ring lol!!! Big hugs to you as well - you prob feel as pants as we do x

Thanks to everyone - feel a bit better about things now, its just sometimes just reassuring to know that others have been in the same situ and know how you feel - non horsey friends dont really understand x
 
When you get your new one and it bucks you off, that will be Zac whispering in his ear, "right hear what I would do is .......... yeah thats it, now she has to run to catch you".

Will send you a photo of him and Magnus, together a few years back, that is how I see them both now, happily grazing side by side.

He was a loved and cherished horse all his life, go and hug DJ for me, I expect he misses his little brother too, he will give you a big cuddle.
 
Thats a little better its good to laugh through the tears.

He wants to be remembered with smiles, I always remember after you had just got him and you mum rang me to tell me how the days hunting had gone, bless her she was so chuffed and loved it, until she didnt want to jump the ditch and he did, and bucked her off to do it.

Sleep well I will get the photo to you, and shout if you need me either of you.
 
Don't apologise for feeling sorry for yourself! You have every right.
I know how hard it will be for you.
I lost mine due to cancer and knew it was coming for 5 mths but I also decided that his arthritic field companion had to go at the same time - double whammy.
Took me 18 mths to feel ready to share my love with another and I had my horses at home- a constant reminder of what I had lost.
Couldn't bear to look in the paddocks from my windows and not see them! But I now have a TB on loan and within days I was in love!
Not the same colour, type or anything but he is a lovely personality
( Thank you to Amanda who I met on here!)
and I think it is a compliment to my lost one that I feel like this again!
Just do what is right in your heart.
I don't believe there is a right or wrong time to move on! Moving on doesn't mean you don't forget! x
 
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