Feeling very sad. Unashamedly fishing for sympathy.

scatty_mare

scatty_mare

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Today I advertised my horse for loan.
B fell into my life 5 years ago as a skinny and unruly exracer, very confused about life in general. It took us a while, but over time we developed a fantastic partnership and we trust each other implicitly. I have worked with many horses,and many thoroughbreds, but B has always been different. She has taught me such a lot, and made me realise there is such a lot more I need to understand. Sounds silly and sentimental, but she has not just taught me to be a better rider (although that really was necessary if I wanted to stay alive) but also to be a better person. She has taught me self-control, patience and empathy. She has taught me that confrontation is pointless, that instead it is better to approach things from the other person's point of view.
She broke her withers last year, which has led to the rapid development of arthritis in her hocks and she now really needs to retire from competition and deserves a quieter life with someone who will love her as much as I do, and enjoy all she still has to offer. She is a fantastic hack and lovely on the flat even though she still has her quirky moments. She is only 13.
I do not have the facilities, time or finances to keep 2 horses and I don't want to resign myself to hacking for the forseeable future.
I hope I have made the right decision, can't help feeling I'm letting her down by passing her on. She will never be for sale and the potential home will be vetted, but can you ever really trust anyone?
I am unashamedly feeling sorry for myself and aware that it is very self-indulgent to post on here and hope for messages of support... but that kind of is what I'm hoping for.... I guess there are others in similar situations.
 
I'm sorry you are feeling sad. I imagine this was a very hard desicion to make. I am sure you will find the perfect loaner who will love her just as much as you do.

I hope everything goes well, sorry I can offer nothing more constructive :(
 
It is hard isn't it, when you desperately want to do something, but there is an equal and almost opposite pull on your heart strings.

You do what is right for the both of you. Try and get a loaner who can be at your yard. Make sure you are able to visit on a regular basis. From what I have gathered so far about loans that go wrong, and this is a bit of a generalization on my part, it is when the loaner loses contact with the loanee/horse. I know that when we were considering putting Little Cob on loan, so many thoughts went through my head, the foremost of which was I would have to see him at least every two weeks; I hoped it wouldn't make me a pain for the loanee, but I just needed to be sure.

Hugs hun.
 
Sometimes our situation means that we want different things from our horses than they are able to give us. You're not letting her down, you are giving your horse the sort of life she needs now and someone else the chance to have as much fun with her as you did.

I promise you there are good loan homes out there. I loaned 3 horses before I bought my own and I didn't treat any of them any differently than I do my own. As long as you are careful I'm sure you will find a lovely home for her.
 
Massive ((((((((((hugs)))))))))) what a tough desition you had to make. Atleast your not selling her on. :) I hope you find a fab loaner for her and she goes on to have many many years of happy hacking.
 
Im so sorry but you are not letting her down, you are not selling her - yu are putting her on loan!
Well done you!
Im sure you will find her a wonderful home - and you can always visit, stipulate that in the loan contract - that you can and will visit whenever you want.
It will go well - you love her so will find a beautiful home for her xxx
 
Your B sounds so much like my Bella, and I am learning those same lessons from her.

I can so understand your feelings but it sounds to me like you are working to do what is best for her and that's the right thing to do. I hope you find her the perfect loan and she is able to teach someone else new lessons.
 
I feel so sorry for you, but I'm sure you will find her a very good loan home. As Mrs Mozart says, don't lose touch, and see her regularly. The loanee will NOT mind (and if they do they shouldn't have her anyway). There's an old horse on loan to a friend of mine at my home, and the owner comes to see him every month. We're always pleased to see her, and she seems very pleased with how the old boy looks and acts. He is much loved, and in fact probably more care is taken of him simply because he IS a loan horse.

Just make sure, if you don't know the would-be loanee well, that you get some references about him/her, like from their vet, farrier etc.
 
Thank you for the replies, everyone is so supportive on here and it is good to talk to people who can really understand what a big part of my life my horse is!
A little update...
A few very nice people came to look at Bindi, and all wanted her... and so I was able to be very choosy. However, before I had really got very far in the vetting process, she very sadly went lame again (Monday), and is still not right - so the vet is coming out tomorrow... again...
Am quite worried, but in a way it is good this has happened before anyone else is involved, and it has made my decision easier.
I can't let anyone else have her if she is not 100% (either for their sakes or for hers) so she is staying where she is.
If she comes sound I will probably look into finding her a sharer, and if not...well that is a whole other can of worms that I'm not going to upset myself over just yet.
Anyway, thanks for reading and replying :) Very much appreciated.
 
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