Finally faced up to my over-horsing problem

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smanf

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Following on from another thread, and as a thank you for all the wonderful advice that I have received over the past eight months, I have finally made the heart wrenching decision to let go of my beautiful boy, whom I thought would be my next forever horse :(

I have tried everything, including change of diet, supplements, groundwork, moving 40 miles down into the country, physios, vets, lessons (all costing a small fortune) to make it work with him but have finally admited defeat and that I have neither the time nor the experience to bring out his full potential. I bought him following the death of my previous horse whom I'd had for twenty years. The new boy (scatty 16.1 Anglo Arab) was everything I had wanted in my late teens (although he is far greener than I was ever lead to believe), but now I suppose at the age of 31 the old self preservation is starting to kick in :o I am utterly heartbroken and haven't now seen him for 8 days (Mum has been looking after him for me) as I think it is better that way.

That said, the relief I now feel, that the next time I go to the yard, there will be a funny looking sort of grey roan 15.3 ISH there waiting for me is amazing. I rode him at the weekend and all my confidence came flooding back, I even popped him over a soppy little cross pole :D The vetting is being done tomorrow so I have everything crossed. The guy selling me the ISH is taking my boy, he is an ex-jockey (who deals occasionally) so I think they may have some fun together.
 
Good luck, it sounds as if you have it sorted, great that you have managed such an easy way to exchange mounts.

Confidence can be such a fragile thing, take you time and enjoy. Do post some pictures of your new boy.
 
Sounds like a happy ending to me so don't be disheartened! We have horses to enjoy and have fun and it sounds like you did everything you could to try and make things work. You can't fit a round peg in a square hole though ;)

I am sure he will go on to find a lovely home who he gels with much better and it sounds like you have found a horse to make you smile again! Best of luck :)
 
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I like him!
Sounds like not only have you done the right thing for both of you. But you have been amazingly lucky to do it so easily, which is a great sign for the future. ENJOY!
 
Ah thanks :D Looking forward to seeing him again. Yes, he looks very steely in these pics but he is a proper roan at the moment (probably a summer thing)
 
Can't see the photo but sounds like you've reached a good outcome. Not an easy process but you've certainly given it a good try. Have fun with new ponio x
 
SatansLittleHelper said:
Im doing the same thing at the moment...I know its the best thing but its still heart wrenching isnt it :(
New horsey is beautiful ♥♥♥
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Ah thanks. Oh definitely, and very tough finding the certainty that it IS the right thing to do. Snippets of doubt keep flickering through my mind, ifs, buts and 'whatifs', which is the reason that I thought it best not to see my boy again (very fortunate to have support from Mum, although she loves it ;) ). I suppose when the downs start out-numbering the ups, it's a pretty good clue. As others have said (not meaning to count my chickens), I have been incredibly lucky to find this solution (assuming he passes the vetting!!) What stage are you at? Best of luck.
 
The newbie looks lovely.Think you have done exactly the right thing even though it is upsetting and the other one will probably be much happier with someone else.Some partnerships are not meant to be.
 
I've just done exactly the same; my boy has gone off to do Endurance with someone amazing. I couldn't have found him a better home if he'd been a 10k horse. I think now that he was meant to come to me, just so he could go to them! Haven't found a new boy yet but am looking with my head, not my heart. The next one may not be the prettiest chap, but he sure as heck will be safe and kind and just what I need. Congrats on your new chap OP - all the best for you, him, and your old horse as well.
 
SadKen said:
I've just done exactly the same; my boy has gone off to do Endurance with someone amazing. I couldn't have found him a better home if he'd been a 10k horse. I think now that he was meant to come to me, just so he could go to them! Haven't found a new boy yet but am looking with my head, not my heart. The next one may not be the prettiest chap, but he sure as heck will be safe and kind and just what I need. Congrats on your new chap OP - all the best for you, him, and your old horse as well.
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I was wondering how you'd got on with your chap. Glads it worked out :)
 
Ah thanks Hippona! He's fallen on his feet, that's for sure; his new family looked besotted with him and they will definitely have the knowledge and experience to keep his cheeky side in line. And I get to look for something more sensible for me! The only sad part (such as it is) is that I doubt I will ever own another Arab again, so that's the end of the dream. But it's a small price to pay!
 
SadKen said:
Ah thanks Hippona! He's fallen on his feet, that's for sure; his new family looked besotted with him and they will definitely have the knowledge and experience to keep his cheeky side in line. And I get to look for something more sensible for me! The only sad part (such as it is) is that I doubt I will ever own another Arab again, so that's the end of the dream. But it's a small price to pay!
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Same goes for me :-/ I always liked being able to say "I've got an Anglo Arab" lol. Not anymore and probably never again. Oh well, I got a picture I suppose.

I hope he will be ok where he is going, I am worrying now, but I think that the guy has the experience to bring something out in him and give him some proper work (well a few gallops what with being an ex jockey, and my horse is Nijinsky's great grandson afterall) and then in turn find him a more suitable home...
 
Well done Smanf and Sad Ken. Smanf, your hopefully new one looks lovely - I particularly liked the look of the happy mouth snaffle in for jumping!! That looks exactly the ticket. :)
 
Thank u, I'm looking forward to my new one coming, but starting to feel a bit sick at the moment, especially reading some of the other threads on here today where people are persevering with theirs, but I do think that my current one needs a hell if a lot more work than I have the time to give, and that I will just end up making him worse instead of better :/
 
hey... don't feel bad. I have sold on 3 horses that were too much for me, having tried far less hard than you to make it work. We can't know if things would have worked out if we had hung on, but this way both you and your anglo are fit and unharmed and well, and hopefully have a great future ahead of you. x
 
Well, the deal is done, there were a few hiccups along the way, but the new boy is now home and my other boy has gone to someone that I am sure will get on just fine with him. During the run up to the big day, the thought of him going had made me physically sick and the nagging doubt that perhaps I should persevere a bit more wouldnt go away, right up until he left.

But once he had gone, I all of a sudden knew he wasn't my horse. I am sad and still want to make sure he is ok, but nothing like as bad as I thought I'd be. I can't wait to see my new boy this evening, and I feel as though a ton weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

So for anyone else struggling with taking the plunge, you may be surprised. :)
 
Congratulations, love the new boy, he looks proper Irish. Onwards and upwards. It is too expensive a hobby to not be enjoyable!
 
Good luck with the new boy; never can understand why people don't just fess up and accept they've got the wrong horse - nobody's fault, least of all the horse. Plenty of horses to choose from; get a more suitable owner for the one you've got that doesn't suit and go looking for the next one - fun! Looking forward to your new adventures.
 
Here are some pics as requested...

O'Reilly doing what he does...
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My first go on him...
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Once he arrived home :D
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The people that now have my old boy had said that he has settled and worked well in the school. Can't help feel a slight hint of failure, but guess I just gotta look forward now :)
 
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Not failure; realism. We don't get on with every person we meet, why would we expect to get on with every single horse? Best of luck with your new grey horsey, he looks a cracker.
 
I love your new horse. You look as though you will have a wonderful time together. Dont worry if he is a bit less straightforward than when you tried him, in his first few weeks in his new home - just take things in slow steps and enjoy yourself.
 
Congratulations on your new chap do love a Rose Grey and well done for making the right decision by your Anglo. Also glad to read the Nyrobi has got a lovely new home too. Good news all round.
 
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