finding a sharer you can rely on

T

the watcher

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I have a problem and know I can rely on you all for good advice.

A little history first; nearly three years ago I was approached by a friend who had a horse that was unsuitable for her, bred as a sports horse. She was quite a nervous novice and found he was a bit much for her after a short time, but rather than sell him on she turned him away to be a companion to her husbands retired Cleveland Bay. The CB died suddenly leaving this gelding in the field with only the Dexter cattle for company, he had truly become one of the herd - she had plans to move and a home had to be found for the horse.

At the time I was renting a yard, so one extra mouth to feed was little extra expense, we took him, worked on him, got him going very well and with the owner's agreement found a long term loan home for him. That was the end of it, I thought.

At the end of last year she approached me again, they wanted him back closer to home so that her daughters could now ride him and were missing him, would I have him back? I said yes, but by now we had moved to a livery yard and were paying per horse so the proviso was that I would need to cover most of his costs with sharers (I had in the meantime broken my hip and in reality he is too tall for me to get on easily without help)

Somebody else at the yard covers 50% of his costs and shares the riding, I need to cover the other 50% and have been let down by yet another sharer who lost interest - it is costing me too much to keep a horse that is surplus to my needs.

i don't want to send him back to the owner, she has no facilities, no company and it simply isn't an option - I could ask her to pay towards him (obvious choice I know) but I think that might also cause problems - I could try to loan him again with her permission but TBH he came back from the last place in such poor condition and with so many issues it has taken us months to get him right, and she only trusts me to look after him properly.

Your thoughts please

PS If there IS anybody in West Oxfordshire who might be interested in sharing a IDxTB who has an excellent straight action, good paces, is forward going but stoppable and a very loving nature.........
 
What a friend you are - we could all do with a Watcher on our side.

I'd ask her for money personally. Or failing that - buy the horse and sell it on to recoup your expenses.
 
I would go with the asking the owner for a contribution option. It was on her stipulation the he came back so you can't really be asked to carry the cost.

What ever is decided though, I think that horse is very lucky to have you involved in his life, you have obviously put in a lot of hard work with him and care a great deal about him, which is lovely.

Good Luck x
 
I think you should talk to her about making an agreement that she would pay 50% unless there is a second sharer, but you will make efforts to find the sharer and keep an eye on the horse. I don't really see why you should pay for the horse yourself if you can't ride it and it is not yours.
 
I know this will sound harsh but its her horse at the end of the day so whatever she decides is final - I do hope it all works out for you and the best thing is done for the horse which would be to stay with you by the sounds of it!
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I know this will sound harsh but its her horse at the end of the day so whatever she decides is final

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I don't understand what that means.........
 
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What a friend you are - we could all do with a Watcher on our side.

I'd ask her for money personally. Or failing that - buy the horse and sell it on to recoup your expenses.

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He is 14, but very green so would have very limited resale potential and because he is very bold he wouldn't suit the kind of complete novice who is often looking for an older horse. I am not sure I could do it do him a second time anyway, it is almost karma that he has come back to me.
 
Fair enough. Well, hopefully you can find another sharer for him - or even another full time loaner home. But either way I suspect you are going to end up footing some of the bill for him. Can the owner not make any kind of contribution - she is stretching the definition of friendship a long way by the sounds of it, and to an outsider sounds as if she is 'dumping' on you a bit.......
 
I think you may be right..I don't mind a small proportion of the cost because he is lovable and a calm companion so when my foal makes an apperance next year he will ultimately become a bit of a uncle anyway

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he has come on a long way
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In the end it's her horse. Unfortuate for him, maybe, but true. If she only trusts you to keep him sure she is interested in contributing so that can continue to happen? It's worth a conversation at any rate - sometimes you don't know what people really think until you ask them straight out and she might surprise you. Either way, she is the one who chose to have this horse and has allowed the situation to get to this point. Maybe, by you trying too hard, you've made it to easy for her to shirk her ultimate responsibility for the horse and the situation.

As to the sharer . . . that's a tough one. I don't know what the situation is here but my own experience is that it's very hard to get committed people to work with a horse that needs experienced handling without at the very least covering their costs. Expecting to get someone experienced to effectively pay to train a horse without some othr sort of offer on the table (I've done it with horses whose "other rider" was a trainer and with at least the expected option of showing at some point) always seems like a recipe for dissatisfaction if not disaster.

Not helpful, I know. Sorry. But maybe the owner should be made fully aware of the difficulties of the situation so she's not under the mistaken impression you are just not trying hard enough to get someone. Sounds to me like you've already gone way beyond the call of duty for the horse.
 
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At the end of last year she approached me again, they wanted him back closer to home so that her daughters could now ride him and were missing him, would I have him back? I said yes, but by now we had moved to a livery yard and were paying per horse so the proviso was that I would need to cover most of his costs with sharers (I had in the meantime broken my hip and in reality he is too tall for me to get on easily without help)

Somebody else at the yard covers 50% of his costs and shares the riding, I need to cover the other 50% and have been let down by yet another sharer who lost interest - it is costing me too much to keep a horse that is surplus to my needs.



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I think your friend sounds a little bit cheeky. If he is on a livery yard, why isn't she finding sharers/getting her daughters down to do him? And also paying for him! I'm sorry to hear he came back in a state after the last loan. I think you are a very generous friend who maybe doesn't say no enough!
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I think you are right, I will have a conversation with her. He doesn't need training so much as a reasonably competent rider, he is very responsive to aids and will get upset if subjected to pony club type kicks, he is also light in his mouth.

You would think people would be climbing over each other for the opportunity to hack and possibly compete on a nice horse (and I was only asking £15 per week contribution to keep- hardly the earth)
 
You're being far too nice to this person IMO! I actually got quite mad reading your post - why can't people take responsibility for their own horses?! If it was me I would tell her that either she pays for you to keep the horse or she sells him. It's not fair that you should foot the bill - she is taking advantage
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What about the Abingdon and Witney College - I know nothing about it, but they were advertising for loan horses wanted.

That way he could go on loan and you can have him back for babysitting. Should be less worrying that loaning to an inidividual as not going to be sold on or poorly looked after.
 
It means Amy May that if the horse's owner wants her horse back she can have him whenever she wants and however she wants - it doesnt really matter what the loaner thinks - even tho she has done and exellent job of looking after him.
 
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