First fall in 30 years ... Lost confidence

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Bedford Joy

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I fell off my horse last week ... The first time in 30 years! I was having a lesson on my 10 year old TB mare and all was great. As I'm coming back to riding after a break to have my third child I was aware that my balance and fitness needed working on. I was doing lots of exersizes in walk to get my balance point and working on my lower leg position and although my ankle muscles were sore I carried on. Anyway I decided to have one last canter on each rein and at the top of the school whilst I was standing in
My stirrups at canter on the right rein my ankle suddenly gave way and I lost my balance. After that all I remember is saying "my ankles gone and I can't straighten it" and the next thing "bang" I hit the ground !!! I hit the back if my head, bashed my shoulder and hurt my right leg. I don't know what I did but I have extensive bruising to my right leg and right shoulder ( which swelled up and showed a large mark presumably made by the back of my hat ) I think I must have closed my eyes as I have no recollection of actually falling off until I felt the pain. My mare bless her just stood and looked at me as if to say "what are you doing down there?" lol
I then rode her out on a hack 2 days later and was so fixated with getting back into the saddle I ignored the fact she was in season and I normally don't ride her in season as she becomes spooky and grumpy. Well I hacked out with a couple of freinds and she was spooky, jumpy and at one point whipped round and wouldnt go forward when we came accross a field of nutty ponies.y freind took the lead and she did follow but proceeded to jog and throw her head around all the way home along the bridle path. I felt very nervous and I'm sure I tensed up big time as I was thinking about my fall 2 days before. We got home safely and I left the yard feeling very disheartened. I was meant to have another lesson today but have cancelled and thought I'd go and see her and give her a well needed bath as she really needs one instead. I am worried I won't get back in the saddle again and it doesn't help I watched 24 hours in A&E last night where the girl Ellie had a nasty fall off her horse. I have 3 children aged 7, 5 and 1 and I keep thinking I'm being selfish putting their mummy at risk from serious injury ... Any advice people ?

Chocolate and a cup
Of tea for those who got this far xxxx
 
You need to fall off more! LOL!

First off you are a mother. I'm not but my friends tell me things change for them sometimes after kids. That's probably some internal instinct. I don't know.

I used to ride 7 days a week 365 days a year for a job. My falls would go in spells. Fall off once and next thing you know I can't ride at all. I make things worse over compensating. I wouldn't be my normal self and had to get inside my head a little to sort myself out.

Here's the best part of your fall, it wasn't your horse. Not assigning blame to you, these things happen. But at least you should be telling yourself, what a good mare I have. Say it over and over. Her seasons are a pain but on those days just give her a grooming and perhaps a walk in hand. Nothing to get you anxious. When you start back riding take it slow. If you just feel like doing a bunch of exercises at walk and trot do so. Whatever you do just put yourself and your mare in the best possible situation to succeed. There is no time frame!

Also, like horses, we aren't our best in pain. While getting fit maybe skip a lesson and treat yourself to a massage or acupuncture. I had to do this when riding for a job. Also to help your ankles, stand on a step on the ball of your foot and flex. Just a couple of mins a day.

Don't beat yourself up, give yourself a break. You gave birth to 3 kids. I doubt there isn't much you can handle!

Terri
 
Oh Terri
Bless you what a lovely reply !! Thank you ! I think you have hit the nail on the head. In the scheme of things it wasnt a bad fall it was more of a shock really. I'm still very stiff, sore and bruised so perhaps riding today wouldn't be a good idea anyway.
My mare really is incredible, I've bought her back into ridden work after 7 years as a broodmare and apart from when she's in season she's really very laid back. I also liked your point that my fall wasn't something to do with her. She really did nothing wrong and as I said she stood waiting for me to get up when I fell and didn't take off or spook. I am very lucky. Had my fall been caused by her I would have been far more worried :)
Fab idea about ankle exersizes I wasn't sure how to strengthen them without riding so your suggestion is fab !!! I'll start today :)
I loved your first comment, my YO says I need to gallop round the hay field bareback and fall off a few times then it won't bother me so much ... Not sure I agree with her on that lolol xxx
Thanks again for taking the time to help me :) xx
 
I agree having kids makes a huge difference. I hate going out during the week to jump etc as think if anything happens who can do school run etc and my daughter is 16 and very able to get herself home cook tea

Also I think after a certain age you dont bounce anymore, you hit the deck with a thud and kind of stay there!!!!

Try writting down what you do each time you ride and you will be surprised at how fast the confidence comes back, also on a wobbly day you can look back and say I can do. I write a coupple of lines like, hacked small block today all good, forward going but safe, barking dog and cars stood still for cars to pass. Or jumped in school 4th hole cross need to be more forward going. Then on a day when I dont feel like doing something I look back and think I can do it on a good day.

We all have wobbly days sometime something else is on our minds and we dont ride 100%, bit like when the kids are readng to you and you only take in every other word!

I have strated doing body balance and fit ball at local gym and they have made a huge difference to my ridding can feel parts of my body that I could not before and have found my core! you can get dvd to do at home so may be worth a try
 
Second what Terri has said.

I managed to have a bad fall for the first time in years 3 years ago. Please do not do what i did and allow it to fester and find excuses not to ride! I ended up not riding for 2 years, when I did finally have a strong word with myself I was pretty much crucified with fear. I ended up going on a course for nervous riders and having some NLP therapy.

My problem was the horse I was riding bolted which gave me a total fear of it happening again with another horse, you are so lucky that you know 100% your horse was not at fault.

Give yourself some time off to heal, treat yourself to a nice relaxing massage or two , then book a lesson (lunge if needs be;-) and get on with it again. Maybe try some Pilates classes to get your core strength back and you will feel so much more secure in your position.

Best of luck and I look forwrd to the "we went out for a blast of a hack" post soon

Chav xxx
 
It is perfectly normal to feel like this. There have been a couple of times where I have had to force myself to get back on, while shaking like a leaf I was so afraid. Once I was actually back on and walked a few steps I was ok. Odd cos it was never then that I fell off anyway lol

I always found doing something on the ground with him built up my confidence enough to get back on, saying he didn't mean for me to hit the deck, yes it was his fault BUT he didn't actually want me on the deck.

In the early days f things got REALLY bad I would get a trusted friend to sit on him first. It is amazing how much confidence you can get just from that :D

Chin up, don't feel bad, self preservation is a good thing :D Just don't leave it more than a couple of days before you get back on, even if you only walk 20m/ honestly the longer you leave it the more excuses you will make

hugs cos it is hard!!
 
What a wonderful excuse to treat yourself to some me time.

"I'm sorry but I can't do the school run today as I really must attend my spa day.":)

Your mare sounds fab and don't worry, I'm sure you'll soon get going again(after therapy of course.);) :D:D
 
The thing about falling off is to do it regularly - I keep my hand in by falling off my bike :o if I can't manage it off the horse. These once in three decades falls are bound to shake your confidence particularly if it wasn't as a result of the horse doing cartwheels followed by a broncing session, when you sort of expect to be launched.

My confidence took a dent when I came off when I thought I shouldn't have done and it did affect my riding quite badly. I was quite shocked really having been fearless all my life. To get rid of the demon nerves I took myself off and had lunge lessons at Talland and had my riding ripped apart :D and put back together again.

ETS - just remembered, my ankle gave way once suddenly and I dammed nearly fell off - I was out with a group of people and they did wonder what I was playing at.
 
The trouble is that as we get (ahem) older, we don't break as easily, and coming off is much more of an issue. It is for me anyway, I have a back injury. That said, I broke Shy in bareback, and thank god he's little, cos I did hit the deck a lot, and still come off at times.

30 years without a fall is MIGHTY good going - look at it that way. I think that must be a HHO online record in fact, so be very proud of yourself, and realise that to achieve that, you must be doing a hell of a lot right :D. So get back up there, and trust your own ability xxx
 
Thank you everyone such lovely responses :)
I agree at 41 I didn't bounce like I did when I was 11 !
I sat down today and thought about things and I realise I have been feeling a slight pressure to get on and ride as I'm on an eventing yard and everyone here rises so well. What I really want to do is not only spend my time riding my mare but also spend time with her on the ground. I decided to ride her in the school today but as it happened the dentist had been and done her teeth so riding was off the cards anyway so instead I gave her a bath and to dry her off we went for a lively leisurely walk in the glorious sunshine ... It was lovely. I now realise that I need to take things at my pace and not feel pressured into becoming a 4* event rider. I know my mare will be okay with that, she has been perfect after not being ridden for 7 years so I know she's not a mare that needs to be ridden every day. I'm really looking forwards to a gentle ride on her at the weekend now the pressure is off and just spending time with my beautiful girl.
Off to do my ankle exersizes now lol
Thanks again xxxx
 
BJ, I'm so glad to hear it! They really are special just being them. I put lots of pressure on myself with mine as well. Abba should be SJ this year to continue on from last year but we are planning a trip back home to the States permanently including the horses. So obviously competing is off the cards right now. She is 6. I have to keep remembering she is still very young and we have lots of years left. More her than me. She isn't too bothered! But I just get to ride and enjoy at the moment and it's quite nice.

Your mare sounds fabulous. Pics would be nice!

Terri
 
Oh bless you BJ, that's such a lovely post !! Yes, you must do what you want, at your own pace, and share life with your lovely girl. I used to do all the fast stuff years ago, and am now just doing local riding club stuff - and I ask when we go in the ring that we are not even being clocked for the competition (yet, as we are very new, lol).

Good for you, I am sure that with the pressure off, you will enjoy your girl so much more :) xx
 
sherbet said:
I agree having kids makes a huge difference. I hate going out during the week to jump etc as think if anything happens who can do school run etc and my daughter is 16 and very able to get herself home cook tea

Also I think after a certain age you dont bounce anymore, you hit the deck with a thud and kind of stay there!!!!

Try writting down what you do each time you ride and you will be surprised at how fast the confidence comes back, also on a wobbly day you can look back and say I can do. I write a coupple of lines like, hacked small block today all good, forward going but safe, barking dog and cars stood still for cars to pass. Or jumped in school 4th hole cross need to be more forward going. Then on a day when I dont feel like doing something I look back and think I can do it on a good day.

We all have wobbly days sometime something else is on our minds and we dont ride 100%, bit like when the kids are readng to you and you only take in every other word!

I have strated doing body balance and fit ball at local gym and they have made a huge difference to my ridding can feel parts of my body that I could not before and have found my core! you can get dvd to do at home so may be worth a try
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My mum said exactly the same about not bouncing when you hit the deck as you get older! She used to ride lots and have horses up until she had me when she was about 23 then pretty much stopped riding altogether. Now that I am getting back into it and having a horsey delivered next week I can tell she is getting the bug again but she seems VERY fearful of getting back in the saddle. I know she can do it and Im sure you can too. Keep at it and like someone above said at least it wasnt your mares fault... remember she loves you and wont want to hurt you. Take things slow you have all the time in the world, no rush just enjoy the time you have together... no pressure :) GOOD LUCK X
 
thanks again everyone you have been so kind. This is Joy when I bought her in February.....

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And this is her today, she's looking so much better ... I love her sooo much !!!

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Oh wow, you have done so well, what an improvement !! Tbh, I would take the riding very gently anyway as she needs to get herself really strong, and this will take time to build up. She looks so kind and gentle, cherish her :) xx
 
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