First pony and a family?

[LHIS]

Hi Everyone,

Looking for a bit of advice please!

I am a 26 yr old lady currently part loaning a pony. I'd like to buy him as I think he will be perfect for me, and his owner has said she would like to sell him. He would be my first 'own pony', though I have ridden on and off for 20+ years and am not worried about the looking after element of horse-ownership.
The pony I loan is special, I have only ever met 1 other like him (another part loan I had whilst at university) and I really don't want to miss the chance of owning him properly, he is the type I would be able to keep long-term, if not for life.

However, my husband and I are also thinking about starting a family. My intention would be to either part loan, or full loan my pony whilst I was too pregnant / looking after a young baby. I don't think I'd struggle finding someone for him given the type of pony he is and his temperament. But, I have no actual idea how practical this plan is - having neither had my own pony, nor a child before I have no idea what this would be like in practise.

I'd like to know how other people have managed children and a horse? How practical is my idea or am I just dreaming? Advice, especially from ladies who have done this, would be much appreciated.

Thank you x

 

[Marmi452]

When my daughter was 15 months old I went from being pony less to 3 in the space of 6 months - I know I went a bit mad but can't resist a sob story after sharing for ages. Lost my daughters LR oldie to colic earlier this year so now back to 2 (1 for her and 1 for me) but in honesty I work full time, am on DIY and my lg is only 2.5 and i wouldn't change a thing, granted my weekends are so busy I do wonder where they go but sharing my lifelong passion with my girl makes the tiredness, being skint all the time , smelling of horses 247 all worth it.. you have one life so I would just go for it.. kids make good mucker outers! or mine does ..lol

 

[LHIS]

Hi Marmi - thanks for the reply. I'd want the same thing too (for any children to grow up around ponies - something I didn't have and so wished I did - sadly my parents are not 'horsey'). Certainly sounds do-able though, and with a FT job! I don't actually plan on working (hopefully, or at the very most PT work) so will certainly have the time to do it, but want to ensure I won't be taking on too much in one go.
My husband is of the opinion that I will not want to visit the yard twice a day on little sleep and with a child in tow.

Does anyone else have any experience/advice?
x

 

[Barnacle]

Anyone who replies to you here is almost certainly going to still be into horses and perhaps own some... So it'll have worked out for them. But the world is also full of people who popped out a few little ones and forgot that horses existed the next day. Not suggesting for a second that this is you but I know at least 3 people who have had kids while owning horses and all of them more or less gave up on horses afterwards or simply didn't have the time. It can work but I think that's the exception rather than the rule - this forum is full of exceptions but the real world is not. So my advice, if it's at all possible, is to continue loaning this pony because it sounds like the perfect one. Then see after you've gotten pregnant how you cope and after the baby is born how you feel. Then buy it if it still seems like a good idea... I say this assuming you're thinking about starting a family now. If you actually mean 2 years down the line, go for the pony and you can figure it out when the time comes... But taking on a new pony and getting pregnant at the same time seems like a bad idea to me.

 

[LHIS]

Thanks Barnacle, sensible advice. The reason I would do both at the same time (yes family is on the cards in near future) is because I'm pretty sure if I don't buy him someone else will, and then they will get the pony I have put so much work in to.

 

[Barnacle]

Could you come to some agreement with the owners? Maybe you can "reserve" him and say that if you find you can't cope you'll help sell him? Kind of depends on how much of a cost it is to his current owners to sell though. If it's going to be easy for them to do, they may not be interested in such an agreement. On the other hand, knowing the pony is likely to go to someone who genuinely cares for it and will give it a great life must be worth something to the current owners?

 

[rachk89]

I think Barnacle has given you some good advice here really, but I do know a woman who currently runs the competition yard that I go to right now and she has a young child and manages to cope fine. I mean yeah she does have staff that help, but she is an instructor too and also needs to train horses for customers so she isnt just an owner, she works there a lot too. But like Barnacle said, she is an exception, not the rule.

I am sure that if you get the pony you'll make it work.

 

[LHIS]

Thanks Barnacle and Rach. His current owner works as a trainer too, so he is effectively taking up a stable that she could use to have a clients horse in for training, so in that respect she might be keen to sell once he's brought on a bit (by me). However, I know she would want him to go to a loving home and not be passed from pillar to post, and not go to a young child initially as an own pony, so perhaps if I covered his full livery costs for the time it took to get a measure of how I would cope then it might be an option. I'll do my best to hang on to him!