Following on from the recent absent confidence threads

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smanf

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How is everyone getting on? Any success stories? Has the much improved weather helped?

At the risk of totally jinxing myself, I have gone from having the advert for my boy written out and handing my resignation in to the horsey world, to being absolutely in love with him and knowing that we have got brilliant times to come. I have my first stressage lesson this Sunday :eek:

I found that going right back to basics and really getting to know my horse on the ground and teaching him to trust me has worked wonders for both of us. :D

Anyone not getting on so well that needs reassurance?
 
You haven't got a 'Stressage' lesson, you have a 'Dressage' lesson, because dressage is fun!! :D :D

Going back to basics when your confidence is low is so beneficial. My confidence wobbles seem to have been obliterated by the horse behaving herself and a wonderful trainer.
I even had a gallop up the field the other day and didn't once think "Oh pants, I can't stop", the tiniest squeeze down the rein and little mare came back to me, and that is because we have been working on our brakes in the school.

Good on you! Enjoy your lesson!! :D
 
I've had my lad 10 weeks and am finally riding fairly regularly now. Up till 2 weeks ago, I had only ridden him three times. I will admit, I was nervous before due to his behaviour. All bitey and legs flailing. He got away with it in previous home and did with me for a few weeks as I felt sorry about his past mistreatment.

Decided enough was enough as he was becoming a pain to be around. Found the courage to give him a smack on the shoulder when he went to bite me as I was seriously considering sending him back - he's not tried since. The odd face, but no teeth and all four legs on the ground. We've now built up a lot of trust and our relationship on the ground is so much better, I'm feeling much more confident to ride him (it helps that we had the saddler up and now have a brand new saddle which fits him like a dream).

However, still not willing to hack him out as he hots up big time in open spaces. I just don't have the nerve to be able to handle it if he did take off with me, so I'm not prepared to just go for it yet. His schooling is coming on nicely and I'm happy with our progress so far.

Also still not brave enough to tackle any jumps - he is very keen as gets very energetic if there are some up when schooling. I dream of being able to join my friends in the school and pop over some jumps, but that won't happen any time soon!

One thing at a time, though, eh?
 
Mine was up for sale 8mths ago, and I couldn't get on him without shaking and getting back off.

We're upto jumping 2'9, hacking alone and in company (W,T,C) for upto 2.5hrs, our first outing (Trek!) is next week, our first show is also next week, and we're looking at maybe our first fun ride in the next month or so.

Don't rush it, but it can be done :)
 
I've had a bit of a breakthrough when it comes to going it alone now. I had managed hacking in company fine and was generally confident, but then I thought right, the sun is shining, I am NOT spending another weekend shovelling poo on my own! Went out with BF on foot the first day (done this before and always fine), then attempted on our own the next... Cue much napping later and I had to drag the horse round the rest of the route on foot BUT I was very proud that I wanted to! I wore the wrong boots for walking however... Ankle blisters :-(

I then decided to book a lesson and the first random instructor to reply to my facebook post seems to be ideal, really understands confidence issues and had us working well just walk and halt around the field when previously we had tantrums just trying to get her to walk for 5 mins (basically me being afraid to push through in case I get chucked off and hurt!).

So in a word YES, sunny weather is helping lots!
 
My friend has been giving me jumping lessons so she can get some teaching experience, and she keeps asking where all my confidence has come from! I used to whinge and moan whilst jumping and would not have jumps changed from a tiny cross.
Last week I was doing so well she whacked the jump up and I just got on with it! We're experimenting with bounces this week so finger X'd!
 
I always tend to do great, then I push one step too far and ruin it all!

After stopping having lessons with an instructor who had done a complete 180 degree turn from "you've got a great little horse!" ect. To what basically amounted to "you're *****, your horse needs a more advanced rider and he'll never be a good jumper because he doesn't pick his feet up." I had a long think regarding whether he was the right horse for me and wether i had "overhorsed" myself but I'm stubborn and pig headed and wasn't giving up easily :D

Started to do more on the ground, and I realised I LOVED spending time with him - I could literally just sit in his paddock all day and be blissfully happy! Started basics again, lots of transitions, working from behind and I can actually get him into an outline for longer than one stride - RESULT!

I have to say that jumping is my biggest issue - he jumps so well, proven at 90/100cm level but needs someone confident, which I am not. I jumped him last week - it went really well, I felt in control, he listened to my aids, he didn't rush. We did a mini course beautifully! But I had to go and ruin it by jumping one last jump, misjudged it, flopped down onto his back like a gigantic lump and because he has a sensitive back, was bucked off as a result.

All in all it's a mixed bag - Flatwork is great, jumping is good if only I could keep my **** together :/ I do sometimes feel that he would do so much better with a more advanced rider - I'm confident he'd do BSJA and BE - but I could never let him go so I'm sticking it out :)
 
Yes :) had my new mare since nov and am only just feeling confident on her. Did first dressage last week, have finally hacked her alone, been to beach and jumped her at home and in lessons. Next thing is to tackle the xc. Hang in there it can get better. I almost sent her back after bronching issues but found out was pain related and she now is much happier x
 
Although I have a near saintly and so clever equine I have had my share of confidence knocks, a hack where she's gone faster than I would like and won't listen to me when I ask her slow down (probably because I didn't have the strength to sit up and back properly at the time and mostly just clung to the front of the saddle) we're (well I) am a lot better these days. Our last stand is hacking alone, we're working on that, but we (well I) need a lot more work!
 
I lost my confidence after moving from a just horse to a great big horse but recently we both had a break - I built my confidence up on my little horse while the other one spent time out. Now we're both happily jumping 90cm and hacking out etc! I also have a plan to take him XC all thanks to working up my confidence not working with him, just creating a bond! We even did some tackles stuff! :)
 
Cant quote on my phone, but Qru, one thing I would say is that if you love your horse, and you enjoy your time together then don't feel under pressure about how well he could do with someone else. He doesn't understand that, and he to himself is still just a horse, enjoy what u do and let him enjoy life. :D

So nice to hear all the positive stories, I really was at my wits end but it is all to do with state of mind at the end if the day. At least now I think that if my confidence does go bandy again, with a bit of chill out time and perseverance (and much valued help from others) it does come back. Keep up the good work guys and enjoy the little sods ;)
 
As one who has issued a plea for help because of a confidence problem and has contributed to other threads on this subject as well, I have to say that I find coming on to this message board a great help. I keep my boys on my own and only have more confident horsey neighbours on their own yards for comparison, so I was feeling really low before I joined this forum.

The one pony of mine that is rideable has suffered some weight/muscle loss over the winter (he possibly has cushings - test to follow), but the vet has now said that it should be OK to ride him, gently nothing to excitable; so come the weekend, we shall be taking some baby steps towards getting my confidence back and him some exercise.

This is something that without the confidence threads and all of your experiences I wouldn't have felt able to do a few weeks ago, so a big thank you to all who have made suggestions and everyone who has posted their experiences and made me feel a lot less isolated in the horsey world.
 
Samf - I have to say that taking off the pressure of having lessons and competing ect has helped me hugely - I did end up not enjoying riding but have to say have never been more willing to do anything horsey - even poo pick :D must say that my mum usually says the same thing - he'd probably rather do no work and eat all day tbh! :)
 
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