Free to a good home - one very naughty horse

Andiamo

Andiamo

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Free to a good home, one little w*nker, who is completely ungrateful for all the luxuries he gets in life, he kicks, bucks, broncs and produces about 6 wheelbarrows of manure per day. He spooks at his own shadow, thinks pigeons are horse-eating monsters, and he can bolt for England.

Any takers?

:rolleyes:

Honestly, I'd just spent 1.5 hours on him, just quality time grooming him, gave him some apples I'd picked from a tree today for him, gave him an aromatherapy massage, bundled him back up in his warm rugs, gave him a big kiss, then went to pick out his hind feet, and WHAM!!!!, he sent me flying the little *****, slammed his hoof on my thigh (bit like being thwacked with a cricket bat by Arnold Schwarzenegger), left me feeling like I was going to black-out for the next few minutes. When I finally got up, I could barely walk. I'm sure it will be much worse tomorrow...

Ungrateful little plonker.
 
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Arnold Schwarzenegger plays cricket??

Ouchy! Keep your hoss missus, I will stick with my scruffy but gentle Welsh girlies.
 
What an ungrateful ****bag!!! Hope you are not in too much agony today.
Mine has never kicked me but he did boot my hubby on new years day and got a good leathering for it ****bracing for anti smacking stick****
 
i raise your ungrateful little plonker for .....two identical 8yr old twin boys....and a 19 yr old pregnant hormonal daughter...:eek:
 
Andiamo said:
Free to a good home, one little w*nker, who is completely ungrateful for all the luxuries he gets in life, he kicks, bucks, broncs and produces about 6 wheelbarrows of manure per day. He spooks at his own shadow, thinks pigeons are horse-eating monsters, and he can bolt for England.

Any takers?

:rolleyes:

Honestly, I'd just spent 1.5 hours on him, just quality time grooming him, gave him some apples I'd picked from a tree today for him, gave him an aromatherapy massage, bundled him back up in his warm rugs, gave him a big kiss, then went to pick out his hind feet, and WHAM!!!!, he sent me flying the little *****, slammed his hoof on my thigh (bit like being thwacked with a cricket bat by Arnold Schwarzenegger), left me feeling like I was going to black-out for the next few minutes. When I finally got up, I could barely walk. I'm sure it will be much worse tomorrow...

Ungrateful little plonker.
Click to expand...


Lose the apples and I'm certain you will notice a difference!
 
Andiamo said:
Free to a good home, one little w*nker, who is completely ungrateful for all the luxuries he gets in life, he kicks, bucks, broncs and produces about 6 wheelbarrows of manure per day. He spooks at his own shadow, thinks pigeons are horse-eating monsters, and he can bolt for England.

Any takers?

:rolleyes:

Honestly, I'd just spent 1.5 hours on him, just quality time grooming him, gave him some apples I'd picked from a tree today for him, gave him an aromatherapy massage, bundled him back up in his warm rugs, gave him a big kiss, then went to pick out his hind feet, and WHAM!!!!, he sent me flying the little *****, slammed his hoof on my thigh (bit like being thwacked with a cricket bat by Arnold Schwarzenegger), left me feeling like I was going to black-out for the next few minutes. When I finally got up, I could barely walk. I'm sure it will be much worse tomorrow...

Ungrateful little plonker.
Click to expand...

I have dithered about writing this, because I don't want to start a bitchfest, but in your horses defence I think mine would be extremely grumpy if I had faffed around with them for 1.5 hours.

1.5 hours rolling in mud, eating nettles, chatting to his mates and mooching round the field is quality time for my boy.
I actually (unusually) went to the yard specifically to groom my horse last night as he had been in for a couple of hours and I wanted to skip out etc. I gave him a quick groom & hoof pick etc. half an hour and he was wanting back in his stable for a snooze.
 
Andiamo said:
Free to a good home, one little w*nker, who is completely ungrateful for all the luxuries he gets in life, he kicks, bucks, broncs and produces about 6 wheelbarrows of manure per day. He spooks at his own shadow, thinks pigeons are horse-eating monsters, and he can bolt for England.

Any takers?

:rolleyes:

Honestly, I'd just spent 1.5 hours on him, just quality time grooming him, gave him some apples I'd picked from a tree today for him, gave him an aromatherapy massage, bundled him back up in his warm rugs, gave him a big kiss, then went to pick out his hind feet, and WHAM!!!!, he sent me flying the little *****, slammed his hoof on my thigh (bit like being thwacked with a cricket bat by Arnold Schwarzenegger), left me feeling like I was going to black-out for the next few minutes. When I finally got up, I could barely walk. I'm sure it will be much worse tomorrow...

Ungrateful little plonker.
Click to expand...

I know this is tongue in cheek, but really horses do not appreciate luxuries because they have no concept of what we sacrifice to provide them ;)

And of course some horses would really hate to be messed around with for that length of time - especially if other horses on the yard were being settled for night and being fed. Perhaps with this one less is more and he just likes his own space? I think people feel genuinely hurt that their horse is not 'grateful' but they don't work like that unfortunately!
 
Oh come on you lot! Since when did the think out loud musings of a horse owner deserve such serious responses???? Lighten up and read the post as the frustrated yet light-hearted comment it was meant to be😃😃😃
 
Well who hasn't felt the same when you put in a lot of work and training and TIME to get to an event, only for THAT to be when your horse wont play ball. One horse I could cheerfully have hitched to a gate for a truly bad home as he was such a git ( think stopping on the XC course, cocking a leg and refusing to move till I had to turn round,.and we were in with a good chance of a placing at a BE event). It really did not help my mood that I had no recourse as the horse neither cared Or understood what it meant to me.

He switched to pure dressage after that. Final straw, despite being one of the most talented jumping horses I ever had!
 
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