Frustrated - back to riding after a break, and I'm rubbish!

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SadKen

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I returned to riding after a 15 year break in 2012 and had a young, green horse who was highly reactive. I spent a lot of time on the ground with him, and then when I was back on board it was mostly about survival rather than technique. I didn't ride much in the end because I lost all my confidence. I've got my new girl, who is lovely and has given me back my confidence, so I'm riding more than I did... and I've discovered that I'm just terrible. My feet are pushing out in trot, my hands aren't soft, I can't get my leg on properly, my heels are lifting in canter... I know all these things are wrong, but I can't seem to make my body do them properly!

I am having lessons which really do seem to help, but I just remember how I used to be and am finding it really frustrating that I can't ride like I used to.

I've got a few choices and would like your thoughts:

1. Carry on with my lessons (once a week at the moment) and practice practice practice in the week - I'm doing this right now but possibly expecting too much improvement!
2. Take a week off work and book 2 lessons a day (although I'm really not sure how fair this is to my girl - when I was young we did ride all day when not in school, and it didn't do them any harm, but I don't want to make her sour or overtired). This would be £200 but worth it if I improve!
3. Book a session on a mechanical horse?

If anyone has any other suggestions, I'd love to hear them. It's so annoying being pants when I used to be reasonably good!
 
Just a little suggestion.....give yourself a break!!! :) 15yrs is a long time, if say Gazza (footballer) hadnt played for that length of time you wouldn't expect him to be as good as he was at his height of his game would you? You'd forgive him for been a bit slow and rusty, well its exactly the same for you. Plus i hate to say it but we've all aged in those 15yrs too! Its fantastic that you have found a horse that is right for you and why the rush? You both have the rest of your lives together to tweak these little imperfections that you are seeking. Breathe, ride, smile and most importantly enjoy :D. I'd stick with one maybe two lessons a week and with the practise your doing in the meantime i'm sure you'll improve (maybe not at the speed that you want). Could you get someone to video you whilst riding then say in 3mths do the same so you could compare? Good luck and enjoy.
 
First well done for going back to riding, and second, for being aware of some bad habits but determined to put them right.

Personally I think (1) is best and (3) won't do you any harm. My reason for saying that the boot camp option (2) isn't ideal is that at the moment, much of what you have to learn is about muscle (getting it back) and then muscle memory (making your movements automatic). I'm not sure that you will learn as much as you want with 2 lessons per day, as you'll get tired and sore, and won't be able to achieve your best riding however hard you try. It may be too much for your horse if she isn't used to it - schooling is harder than the sort of hacking we did all day as teenagers! A better option, if work allows, would be half a day off twice a week so you could do 2 lessons a week? Or maybe you could even have evening lessons?

And definitely practice, practice in between! Don't expect to achieve the same as you do in a lesson but instead focus on one thing - an exercise or a way of going - that you did well in the lesson, and get that right.

Well done again and good luck. Your horse sounds super.
 
A session on a mechanical horse i think would be very 'enlightening' and go some way to getting your overall seat/posture/softness back on track!

Also,..how about asking your instructor to perhaps pop you on the lunge when you have your next few lessons, so you can concentrate on YOU for a while, until you get it back together again!? Just a thought. That and some work under saddle without stirrups may help too in the near future.

I don't know how you feel about riding 'bareback' but i love riding in this way and can really feel what's going on alot more if i ride one or two sessions in this way.

One day at a time and cut yourself some slack as 15 years is a long time to have been out of the saddle!! You'll be fine i'm sure, ...just break it all down and build it back up again in little wedges!

Enjoy yourselves and have a lovely time discovering it all again. :)
 
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Please define 'rubbish' because lets face it none of us are Carl Hester! :)
1 Stop being too hard on yourself. Does you horse seem happy? Do you enjoy yourself? If the answer to those questions is yes then relax a bit. All of us, however, can use a bit of improvement and I'm all for lessons (being an instructor!)
2 A mechanical horse may well be of benefit to you - that way you can concentrate solely on your position
3 Lunge lessons are great for the same reason as above
4 2 lessons a day for a week - I wouldn't recomend as you are going to be really stiff and sore and by the end of the week I would say you won't see the benefit
5 Alot of these problems sound to me like tension. Heals lifting in canter are usually caused by gripping legs. Hands lifting can be from trying to be too rigid. Please don't dispair!

Make sure that you are benefiting from your lessons. Do you come away riding better then drift back into bad habit or are you not improving at all? If its the second then maybe change instructor.

Finally...eventually everyone gets to a point where they find it difficult to improve significantly. Some are natural born riders (lucky sods!) some are not. If you still feel like you just can't get to grips with it all maybe try something completely different like western where you are in a totally different position? Remember you also aren't as flexible as you once were!!!!!!!!!

Well done for persevering........many just give up! :)
 
I'm rubbish without having had a break!

Don't be too hard on yourself. You must be pretty competent if you are able to tell which parts need improvement. I would suggest that you keep on as you are doing with your weekly lessons, relax and enjoy yourself. It is meant to be fun, after all!
 
Thank you all for being so kind! Love the gazza analogy! Perhaps a large part of my problem is that I am refusing to acknowledge that I am o-l-d-e-r.

I do improve significantly when under the watchful eye of my instructor, but then drift when unsupervised hehe... I think part of my annoyance has been because I noticed my feet sticking out when I was trotting, and decided to focus on that but then my hands went stiff which ruined our pretty picture as she obviously objected to me hanging off her mouth. My feet have stopped moving as much though, and my thighs hurt which I think means I'm doing it properly!

Hetsmum you're absolutely right re the tension, I am gripping with every bit of me that can grip! I think I might try having a mug of wine before I ride next time and see if I relax a bit more, I was much better riding my old lad when I did that because I was less worried about coming off. I'm not quite as confident as I was pre-last horse. Won't do that as a long term fix though ;)

Good idea re the video - I used to have regular vids of me riding my last boy which were helpful. I will also see if I can be lunged too - I tried rising without stirrups on Monday and I couldn't rise AT ALL so I really need to practise that haha

I do enjoy it, particularly the free walk on a long rein at the end where we bimble about the school and practise turning without reins and so on... I do love her, she is such a sweetie (but also naughty sometimes if I am not paying attention!). She is very excited when jumping, and I fell off recently - when I got back on she was very naughty and I had to really ride her to get her going properly, and we both went a lot better as a result. Perhaps she is mostly just too forgiving!

I WILL NOT GIVE UP!!
 
SadKen said:
Hetsmum you're absolutely right re the tension, I am gripping with every bit of me that can grip! I think I might try having a mug of wine before I ride next time and see if I relax a bit more, I was much better riding my old lad when I did that because I was less worried about coming off. I'm not quite as confident as I was pre-last horse. Won't do that as a long term fix though ;)
I WILL NOT GIVE UP!!
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I really think relaxation will be the key! Always ride with a neck strap. Practice cantering whilst holding neck strap so you don't have to grip with your knees. Practice sitting trot without stirrups holding neck strap.........and I mean pull back on that thing like you are water skiing! Let you legs hang naturally long - they will put themselves in the right position.

Your horse sounds like a super star and I am so glad you have found each other.....

Oh and last tip - always ride with a big smile on your face! (Wine will make this easier but is not compulsory! ;).......)
 
For me the one week 1 lesson a day about every three months really helps me. Because of distance/time I always fine weekly lessons hard to fit in, though I do try through the summer to at least try more lessons.
In between I just enjoy my riding good or bad hacking out. I would love to try a mechanical horse lesson so yes that would be a good idea.
 
Two weeks ago I went jumping for the first time in 6 months. I was all over the place - getting in front of him, getting left behind, going round corners on the wrong leg. If he wasn't such a darling I'd have been off, but he just popped round more or less by himself (first time in 6 months for him too and he was fine!) By the jump off in the 2nd class I'd got my eye back in and we went fine. I went again this week and I only got myself in a mess once! That was one element of riding and 6 months with a gem of a horse - not a complete break for 15 years and then an unfortunate reintroduction (glad you've now got what sounds like a lovely mare). As everybody else has said give yourself a break and a bit of time, just enjoy it. I bet if you entered a dressage test, it wouldn't be as bad as you think! I agree some lunge lessons would be good or just some days when you focus on you and not her. My horse won't lunge - he comes to the middle and looks for treats - was obviously trained with them as a baby - but I often have a lesson where I ride with no stirrups and don't worry what he's doing but focus on my position. He normally ends up going much better for it!
 
Some great suggestions here.

I ended up having an enforced break of just a couple of years - and that was very hard work getting back into shape. I found regular lunge lessons on a schoolmaster-type were great to get all my muscles back into shape though it hurt like hell to start with!

I would also recommend that you consider having a session or more with a sports massage therapist.

Keep on riding your own horse as well, once you have got yourself back in shape you will get more out of your joint lessons (you will know when you get to this point).
 
I've very recently got back on after a long break as I lost every shred of confidence when my horrible horse squished me. I am spectacularly awful!! Properly all over the place like a wobbly kid, infact I could join in the beginners kids lesson tomorrow and I doubt anyone would notice! It's so frustrating when you know what you should be doing but the now much older body just doesn't seem to want to co-operate. I've decided it's just going to take time. Regular lessons, but nothing too intense, and lots of little and often sessions. Intense re-training would be way too physically demanding for me and my poor horse might start a mutiny. I thought my legs were going to fall off after my first lesson. Time to accept I am no longer a teenage speed demon and just opt for something a bit more sedate. If I can manage an Intro dressage test I'll be busting my buttons. Good luck and be kind to yourself, you'll get there :)
 
I feel your pain! I stopped riding for about 18 months and when I went back to it couldn't believe how crap my riding was. Not only that but stamina was a distant memory and I couldn't even manage 15 minutes of trot. Cut yourself some slack and keep plugging away until your fitness and feel return, and be grateful to your saintly horse in the meantime. Lunge lessons would really help with regaining muscle memory and fitness too.
 
I'm in a very similar situation to you......my first lesson in 15 years was almost exactly a year ago. I feel your pain when your can't do something 15-20 years ago you wouldn't even think twice about.

My advice would be to find the achievements in your riding.....doesn't have to be anything major.....one of mine was keeping on a 20m circle in sitting trot with a good position and keeping the horse moving forward. Like I say doesn't sound like much but I found it really difficult in previous lessons.

Also when something goes wrong either ignore it or learn from it :)
 
If it makes you feel any better, I've been riding for about 20 years and it's only since November 2012 that I started having lessons with a new instructor that I basically learnt everything I've been doing is wrong!

I was a typical knee gripper, toe pointing outer, low and wide hands rider. I've been broken down and reconstructed!

You are not going to get overnight results. These things will take time. It's been a good year long slog for me and I'm still a way off! I had the same problem that we would work on my legs then myupper body went funny, then we worked on that and something else went funny. It's just that when you correct something thats when it becomes more noticeable the other things that maybe aren't quite right.

I would stick with the weekly lessons, practice inbetween lots and maybe ask your instructor for specific exercises to do. I always used to get frustrated that in the lessons my horse would go beautifully and I couldn't replicate it when riding alone. My instructor simply said I shouldn't expect to fully replicate what we did in lessons when on my own!
 
Elbie said:
If it makes you feel any better, I've been riding for about 20 years and it's only since November 2012 that I started having lessons with a new instructor that I basically learnt everything I've been doing is wrong!

I was a typical knee gripper, toe pointing outer, low and wide hands rider. I've been broken down and reconstructed!

You are not going to get overnight results. These things will take time. It's been a good year long slog for me and I'm still a way off! I had the same problem that we would work on my legs then myupper body went funny, then we worked on that and something else went funny. It's just that when you correct something thats when it becomes more noticeable the other things that maybe aren't quite right.

I would stick with the weekly lessons, practice inbetween lots and maybe ask your instructor for specific exercises to do. I always used to get frustrated that in the lessons my horse would go beautifully and I couldn't replicate it when riding alone. My instructor simply said I shouldn't expect to fully replicate what we did in lessons when on my own!
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Same here Ebie, I started again with a new young wobbly cob after a 2 year baby gap and the retirement of my old girl, we had been winding down to just occasional hacks for several years prior to that.

OP, I would stick to weekly lessons, I second the idea about having a friend video you from time to time. Try also writing down what went well and what went not so well after each schooling session or writing a list of schooling idea you can pick and choose from.

Something I have been doing for the last 6 weeks is Pilates for riders. My RI and horse physio set it up, an excellent way to improve strength, stability and coordination.

Try looking at this site, I have the pilates for riders book and am finding it a good. The course used some of the exercises and images

http://www.equipilates.com/lindsay-wilcox-reid/
 
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