Frustrated... is my dream horse out there?

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Lowen Ki

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I've had my loan vtb gelding for a while now but I just can't seem to settle him. Every new environment is stressful and makes him really spooky, nappy and dangerous. I lost my confidence competing a couple of years back and I'm after something that will look after me and bring the joy of dressage back into my life... not make me lose it again!

Turns out I think he's always been this way... perhaps why they've struggled to sell him previously and offered me a loan.

While I keep persevering with him (more exposure, more positive experiences, trying a calmer now too) I can't help but feel that this wasn't what I wanted from my new horse really.

Does a small confidence-giver dressage type really exist?! I'm starting to think not :(

Any tips on good places to look for a new horse, or on calmers to try would be great. He's a bit spooky much of the time, but away from home it's like everything is heightened and I can't get his attention. He screams at everything and I just can't keep his focus.

Thanks in advance :(
 
Please don't forget that riding and owning a horse is supposed to be fun. Personally I think you need to send this one back and look for something else. I'm sure there is just the right horse for you out there somewhere!
 
If you're having that much trouble and you don't feel you can click with the horse then it's time to send him back imo.

Yes you will find plenty of sensible comp horses only problem is their owners don't want to give them up!!!
 
Thanks guys, I think you're right. I haven't bought him so I shouldn't feel like I have to make it work. I'm frustrated that I'm having to try him on a calmer just to turn him into the horse I need him to be.

Thanks for your encouragement :)
 
measles said:
And yes, the horse you dream of is out there. It might take a little while to find him or her, but find them you should :)
Click to expand...

^^^ This. Owning a horse shoud be fun and stress free and not an ongoing battle. The right one for you is definitely out there :)
 
Lowen - you don't mention what level of dressage you want to compete at in the next year or two so what I say here my not apply.

The big mistake I see people makingthat want to compete at the lower levels either unaf or aff is they focus on horses that do what ever discipline is their target. Problem with this is they forget that the competing is but a small part of owning a horse and that any good well rounded horse (not flashy superstar) can be trained to compete at all disciplines to some extent.

My wifes little (14.1) welsh D was purchased as a 10yo happy hack horse after my wife had a very nasty road accident whilst hacking out on our TB.
This little mare has gone on to compete BD at Adv.Med level.
Our most recent purchase is a 6yo all rounder type for our daughter.
Horse will turn his hoof to what ever she wants to do as he has a nice temp and a reasonable basic start.

Most people do not need the flashy wonderful moving horse to compete at the level they aspire to but get one anyway. Often this just causes heart ache for both parties.

Have a look for a nice sensible, well rounded horse that has manners, seen a bit of life and will hack out then train it to do the other 10% that we want a horse to do.
 
Sounds like you are trying very hard with a horse that may not be right for you! I would give him back if I was feeling like you were, sounds like you have persevered and tried different things. Riding isn't meant to be an up hill battle. Yes everyone has rubbish days with their horses but the good days should outweigh the bad!
Maybe like PaddyM said look for a nice safe allrounder sort that you can then train on a bit more for the level of dressage you want to do :). Theres lots of them out there but I recommend finding one through word of mouth if possible :).
 
What a shame your not in York - my older boy (almost semi retired due to me being busy with the young one!) would be perfect - he would never be sold though only share/loan.

I agree with the others it is meant to be fun and if your sure you have given enough time to get to know one another etc and its still not working out for you then it may be best to move on? Lifes to short x
 
So sorry you are having a bit of a time finding the horse you dream of, and that the present one isn't working out just yet. I'm new to this forum and so i'm looking forward to reading news and views from horsey peeps. I've been extremely lucky as i have 2 mares one of which i've had for 12 years and one which i recently acquired, both of which seem to be working out well. My longstanding mare is a princess in everyway but is as soft as butter on the inside. I have now acquired another mare who is like butter inside and outside. So i really recommend getting a mare. But generally, if you are looking for tips on what to look out for in any potential horse, take a look at this website, its fairly new, but you may find if useful for making your decision. Look out for the potential horse buying list where you can tick off all the things you are looking for in a horse in each one you visit..and its generally good reading! good luck and let us know what happens x :) www.stable-antics.com
 
Thanks guys, I needed to hear this to remind myself! Rebecca1988 I'm looking to buy, good budget for the right horse. I've looked at allrounder types too that are supposed to be sensible - not always!

The horse I lost my confidence on a couple of years ago was that proverbial flashy warmblood - she was just too bolshy and I didn't have the assertiveness I needed to take charge. She became the boss of me and our relationship spiralled down from there. We used to event to Pre Novice and contest Elementary dressage. Although I've lost my bottle for jumping now, the elementary dressage is still very much in my dreams.

I'm definitely NOT looking for that type of horse now - rather something more sane and sensible but with a trainable, willing attitude. I'm searching for my 'forever' horse and need something so help restore that joy of travelling and competing again - It used to be all I loved to do until my knock back! Need it back in my life really without the fear of getting run off with!

:)
 
Yes - there are definately lovely horses out there! I had years of struggling on with my very sharp (and injury/accindent prone) ex racehorse only to end up having to retire him a couple of years ago. I then had a lovely loan horse who frankly restored my faith in horses and my confidence. He was a very beautiful, Irish (3/4tb) sport horse that looked the part, performed brilliantly and was lovely to hack and take out but was not too boring either! Unfortunately I could not afford to buy him due to my circumstances at the time and he went back to owner and was subsequently sold. I bought a young mare who is not for me so I am not wasting any more time - she is off and I am on the hunt again. Herbie (my loan horse) has taught me one thing - that horses can be fun and that spending years on one that isn't is a total waste of time. I am hoping I will find one soon too - good luck with your hunt!
 
My warmblood was just the same! Stunning horse, flashy mover, looked the part in the ring etc...but he was a total ******* at times. Had him as a 6yr old I'd just come off ponies. He ended up at 17hh and that horse taught me the rider I am today.

For the 1st 6 years of owning him I didn't get to go out competing with my friends because he was so bolshy,argumentative, basically I couldn't get a fine tune out of him. My instructor told my mom he was fine for me because I had a bigger temper than him and that he would come good (she was panicking thinking we brought something mental).

He did in the end at the age of 12 he finally 'grew up' and he was winning everything for the past 2yrs. Sadly I lost him at the start of march this year and I'm so glad I didn't go for something sane.

But if your not enjoying it then there's no point in putting yourself through with it.

Have you tried all the normal advertising sites horse deals, horse quest, horsemart? Or I know you said you weren't going to look for a horse just to do a specific discipline but have a look on www.shannonequestrian.co.uk I've just got my new one from here for dressage.
 
Thanks Rebecca, I've just emailed Ryan. Not sure he's got anything in at the moment that would suit but hopefully he can keep his ear to the ground for me. Thanks for the tip! :)
 
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