Funny things that have happened.

[Ceifer]

Bit of a lighthearted thread. I met up with an old friend and we were reminiscing about the funny things that happened when we worked with horses.

We both worked at a riding school together.

One day I had a guy turn up for a lesson. He’d never sat on a horse and was doing this to try and impress his new girlfriend. First lessons tended to be a bit boring, once I went through all the basics of getting on, explaining how to hold your reins, basic aids etc. doing walk to halt, 20m circle in half an hour it’d be over.

It was near the end and all had been going well. I commented that the first lesson was always a bit slow going but if he kept going it’d get more exciting. He was very jovial and said it was just like a first driving lesson. I agreed but added “well of course but this ‘car’ has a mind of its own”
The cob he was on continued to plod round the track with me at its shoulder but the riders face changed.
“What do you mean ‘a mind of its own?”
I was confused.
“Well, he’s a horse, he has a mind of his own. He’s very much used to beginners and is very kind, but you do need to learn to ride him and learn to control pace, direction etc. He’s not a robot.”

“But my girlfriend said all riding school horses were like robots” The mood changed.
“You’re telling me this horse could just do what it wants and run off with me or throw me off at any second? I could die?!” He added dramatically.
I remember looking at the cob who had been doing his job for a long time and I knew that hell would probably freeze over before it bolted anywhere.
I hesitated with an answer. He took this as a sure sign he wasn’t going to be leaving the arena alive and demanded to get off immediately.
He stomped out the arena and over to the Office leaving me and the bemused cob. The Yard owner was in there cashing up, fag in mouth and in no mood for this guy. She showed him the disclaimer he signed before getting on. He left with a flea in his ear and we laughed about the killer cob for weeks.

I did see him at a local horse show the following year with a woman who I presumed to be the girlfriend he’d been trying to impress. He had been relegated to holding all of her stuff and going to the burger van for her. It was probably for the best.

What stories do other people have?

 

[BMA2]

At the riding school we had a pot of whips and crops that people could use/borrow. Most knackered. And bent from being shoved behind people backs.

Anyway...kid asks what they are. Explain that they are for lazy horses or something along those lines for a very small child.

Her reply...

Mummy and dad have one under their bed

 

[little_critter]

At the riding school we had a pot of whips and crops that people could use/borrow. Most knackered. And bent from being shoved behind people backs.

Anyway...kid asks what they are. Explain that they are for lazy horses or something along those lines for a very small child.

Her reply...

Mummy and dad have one under their bed

It’s obviously for getting at those hard to reach cobwebs.

 

[Errin Paddywack]

We used to have a dad come riding with his little son. Very cute child with very long eyelashes. He told us about his daddy's girlfriend, no idea if it was true but his dad didn't deny it.

 

[ycbm]

In the 70s just about anyone could rock up to a riding school and be sent out on a hack.

One day a young woman in a very short skirt arrived. She was a novice trying to impress the blokes she was with, and they sent her out on a canter hack which included a steepish track up a hill. The ride leader brought her to the front with everyone else behind her and instructed her that as the hill was steep she needed to stand in her stirrups and lean well forward .......
.

 

[Equi]

My first pony was a sturdy welshy/cobby type total plod for the most part and never had his way with me. My uncle (who had been on a horse once or twice but never really “ridden”) said he wanted a go after I had went round the field a couple of times. so up he hops, we go to walk forward and uncle says “giddy up” & pony decides Oo I could have some fun here and legs it up the field

To give my uncle credit he stayed on, got stopped and brought pony back to me in one piece with a huge smile on his face. He’d loved it.

 

[Mouse19]

In the 90s when I was a teenager, a German dressage instructor came to the yard and everyone got very excited. I had a lesson on my pony who was more into jumping than dressage. I found him quite intimidating at the time - In hindsight he was fine but at 13 I was terrified.
He handed me a schooling whip and asked me if I knew how to use it?
I said yes even though I’d never used one. I really struggled to change it over which incurred some shouting so I decided to try and swap it over whilst he wasn’t looking before turning to change the rein. In my haste I managed to fling it over the fence whilst his back was turned. I carried on praying he wouldn’t notice. He did notice and I had to awkwardly explain where it was and watch him climb over the fence to retrieve it