funny things your non-horsey partners/friends say/do around horses?

Firewell

Firewell

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My OH watched me ride my horse a while ago and said 'im really impressed by the high-jump you did on your horse' afterwards i was putting my tack away and i asked my OH to put a rug over my girl. When I came back my poor suffering girl was standing there with her neck rug over her bum like a skirt and the tail flap up her neck, she was waiting stock still with a pained expression on her face LOL. Hes actually very good around her (quiet, gentle) but some of the things he says and does around her are sooooooooo funny
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Does anyone else have any funny stories of non-horsey people around your horses????
 
The first time my OH watched me ride he said to me when I came past "why do you keep jumping up and down".... I was doing rising trot! Couldn't work properly for another 5 minutes as I was laughing hysterically.
 
My mum is an absolute classic (I don't think it's the non-horsey stuff though, just a lack of common sense!! Bless her). Too many things to list but definitely very funny!
 
my OH is hilarious. He's very interested in my horses and we put him on my horse the other day. It was soooo funny. My horse had his ears flat back on his head and did not look happy. Needless to say I made him get off after about 5 minutes, in concern for my horse! But before he got off, he looked at me, worried and said 'how on earth am I going to get off?'
He always offers to fill the 'hay bags' for me and puts rugs on completely wrong but bless him I wouldn't have it any other way, better than him being totally disinterested!
 
My mum is the funniest person I know around horses. We once went to look at one and she came along (I have no idea why!) she declared on the way home that she really liked him because he 'had his ears forward'.
More recently I was out doing some dressage and my parents came to watch. My test was going quite nicely and then came time for the halt and rein back... my mum started screaming from the gallery because she thought Osc was being naughty
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, all you could hear was my dad saying 'shut up, she's supposed to be doing that', I had to laugh!
 
My Dad will tell anyone that horses aren't safe as if they dont stop to poo they shouldnt be trusted as everything eventually stops to poo, but not horses!!
 
My ex was helping me get my horses in one winter and the gate way had got a bit muddy. He got his boot stuck in the mud and nearly sat down and to save himself he extended his hand and grabbed hold of the fence.... which would have been fine if it wasn't electric & run off the mains! He screamed like a girl which will serve him right for not being able to keep his trousers on while he was with me!!
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My housemates were taking the pi** out of me for getting all excited about watching the Kur at olyimpia on the telly at christmas, when it was acctually on they walked in (during Anky's test so it was a good example) and were toltally mesmerised saying "how do they do that!?"

Another was my grandma also saw me watching some dressage on TV (olyimpics i think) and it did a close up of the horse in questions legs during the pieaffe (sp?) and she was conviced fetlocks touching the ground hurt them. Tried to exmplain that if a 800kg horse doesnt want to do something in front of 1000s of people its not gona do it!

Some others are classic. I work for the national trust doing carriage rides so i'm surrounded by the non-horsey. So hard not to laugh at some of the crap (even common sense stuff) that they come out with!
 
Too many to list! I had a friend who saw a hairy cob in the field and exclaimed "Look that horse is wearing flares!" She was very exited about this trendy horse. OH was learning to ride and was taking up our old mare by himself. I came round the corner to find them both looking confused as he had put the bit in backwards and was trying to put the brow band over her ears. Bless her she was just stood there with her mouth open waiting for teh pin to drop.
 
I sent my Dad to grab my old pony in from the field a few years ago. He was gone a long time but I didn't worry cos Tally will bring herself in if someone opens the gate. Eventually they rounded the corner. My dad had put the headcollar on backwards (hard to imagine i know!). So the poor pony had straps almost across her eyes, she couldn't see a thing and he was muttering to himself about not being able to get the stupid thing done up.
 
Right - best ever. My totally non-horsey son in law came up to meet my ned one day and watched me put his headcollar on at the field gate. The little tag on the headcollar said "FULL". He asked, when he's hungry, does it change to "EMPTY"? PMSL!!!!!
 
The of course there is the case of people just not listening. For some reason or another we (myself and all 3 sisters) couldn't do the horses one evening so my Dad was mucking out. I gave him specific instructions regarding the 3 year old we had just bought off the fells (basically a wild pony). He MUST be taken out of his stable and tied up as he is very food possessive WILL kick if you try and go in his stable with him. Well, my Dad decided I was clearly talking cr*p, went in the stable and tried to muck out with him in... guess what happened!!
 
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Right - best ever. My totally non-horsey son in law came up to meet my ned one day and watched me put his headcollar on at the field gate. The little tag on the headcollar said "FULL". He asked, when he's hungry, does it change to "EMPTY"? PMSL!!!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

PMSL
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We have a dapple grey on my yard, the new security guard asked if the horse had been tattoed or painted??

My OH calls jodphurs 'Ja-hod-purs'
 
Someone came to the yard the other day and asked why that horse has numbers on its back? When it was explained that it was to help prevent theft they asked why the thieves don't just shave the numbers off? Snigger
 
I got kicked in the ankle a few years ago it was very very bruised so struggled to walk to far. Mum volunteered to go and get Angel in for me - Angel 15.2 sec D who I had had for 2 years at the time she went and got in Mac - 16.2 TB. Nice one!
 
I used to have a very 'licky' arab; licked everything and everyone, including my husbands armpits when he'd just come back sweaty from a run in his vest.... he let him do it cos he rather liked it!! Perverse, I know!
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My OH doesn't know much about horses at all - albeit does know that mine is a piebald but thought she was a Thorough Draft x Irish Bred!!!
Did make me chuckle when he said, 'I saw a lady riding past my office on a bright bay, must have been at least 16.3hh at the withers'. Bless him, must have been doing his research!!
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My dad knows nothing about horses, but whenever he sees me with my horse he comes over and talks to Colorado like some kind of horse whisperer :L Bless him.
 
my OH calls all shows 'demonstrations'
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trying to drill in to him that the people competing are not doing so just 'for fun', i think the £50k first prize at badders (or whatever it is) sort of made him realise that riding horses can be a job not that its mine!
 
Seeing my poor husband standing in the field trying to work out how to put a headcollar on - cue pony disappearing in front of his eyes!!!

Also when he saw me lunging he said why are you lasooing your horse?!
 
I got my dad on ahorse many years ago and once in the saddle he leant forward grabbed the poor horses ear and asked "Which one's the excelerator then?"

My sister arrived at the yard last year - in mid winter, think deep mud - in a pair of Jimmy Choo's...
 
My OH was looking at pics of both my boys and came to the conclusion that we should sell Monty because he is not a 'proper' horse
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Nope, apparently D was a proper horse!
It's all about the colour, you know! So all you people out there looking for a horse to buy you must buy a bay horse as all the others are not 'proper' horses
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I've worked with horses for most of my life, but parents are totally non-horsey.
Last year my mum was visiting, we were saying hello to some of the mares, when she pipes up
'They look all muddy - I thought you were a groom?'
I swear she honestly thought I groomed horses all day!
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