Gaining confidence over fences after a couple of nasty falls....

Girlracer

Girlracer

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Will it ever come back?

I used to be brave, I'm sure I did... Before I bought my little ex racehorse (who I still love dearly - it's not his fault). Now after a broken leg, then a broken arm and goodness knows how many minor injuries and falls in-between my confidence has deserted me.

Thankfully we aren't talking shot to the point of not jumping anything, but that isn't the point, I want to get back to the 'old' me. Who if we aren't 'right' kicks on, doesn't sit there and freeze, or alternatively fiddles so much we grind to a halt.

I had a lesson today, and it went well, we haven't jumped in nearly two months as King was given a break. And I didn't fiddle or freeze, so that's all really positive, but I'm still so frustrated that the height (which wasn't even that high) initially looked so terrifying. And show jumps aren't even where it's worst, don't get me started on XC fences....

I have for years now desperately wanted to go eventing, and I am so frustrated that this could potentially effect that. King, bless him, he isn't the easiest but he really is pretty tolerant!

We did our first 80 at the end of this season (both mine and his first event, it was a pretty big deal), and I must admit at one stage that was looking a big ask after falling off XC at camp and subsequently having a total XC related confidence crisis. Will it get better? It was only this March that I broke my arm XC, I suppose, and I started riding King in April. I'm so proud of how far we have both come, as he isn't easy and I like to think we have a pretty good partnership already, but I just wish it wasn't so hard. It's like having a constant battle with myself on the inside whilst trying to hide it. And trying desperately not to say 'could you just put that down a few holes?'.

Will it get better?

Here we are today, on a slightly less 'woe is me' note...

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Really feel for you. I've taken years to get confidence back, a bad fall as a teenager put me off cantering, bucking and jumping. I'd literally just freeze - which in most situations is the worst thing. Canter is now my favourite pace. I've never got my jumping mojo back (the fence you're jumping would be too high!) and a real Buck will make me freeze still.
Lessons, practice, and kind horses all work wonders. And time. You've had some tough experiences, so give yourself time. The pic looks great :-) good luck.
 
To get your confidence back you need to jump regularly so try and have lessons as often as you can and just do simple exercises that are easily within your comfort zone when you are not having a lesson, use these simple exercises to work on your position, better security of your seat and balance will make you stronger and more stable, less likely to get in front of the movement so less likely to come off if something does go wrong.

You are not in a secure position in the photo, your lower leg is drifting back, you are a bit in front of the movement which means you are vulnerable if something happens, to be in complete balance you should be able to maintain the position if the horse was not there, fold from the hips with the lower leg remaining in the normal place, if you are concerned about restricting the horse then remember to give with your arms, straighten the elbows pushing the hands forward rather than you going further forward up the neck. Practice over tiny grids, poles on the ground and in trot and canter so your core strength increases, the stronger you are the more you will benefit and it should increase your confidence.

It will get better, your horse looks to have a good attitude, build up slowly don't push too much but push the boundaries little by little as your relationship grows.
 
Not much to add to the fantastic advice already given aside from yes! It can come back. I previously lost my nerve completely (from living, breathing, eventing and working with horses for 16 years, to not even being able to go near one on the ground). This year I'm breaking my first youngster since before! What I noticed for myself was that my seat was the most important thing lost. Once I'd got that back, everything fell into place including my own sense of security and confidence.
 
be positive said:
To get your confidence back you need to jump regularly so try and have lessons as often as you can and just do simple exercises that are easily within your comfort zone when you are not having a lesson, use these simple exercises to work on your position, better security of your seat and balance will make you stronger and more stable, less likely to get in front of the movement so less likely to come off if something does go wrong.

You are not in a secure position in the photo, your lower leg is drifting back, you are a bit in front of the movement which means you are vulnerable if something happens, to be in complete balance you should be able to maintain the position if the horse was not there, fold from the hips with the lower leg remaining in the normal place, if you are concerned about restricting the horse then remember to give with your arms, straighten the elbows pushing the hands forward rather than you going further forward up the neck. Practice over tiny grids, poles on the ground and in trot and canter so your core strength increases, the stronger you are the more you will benefit and it should increase your confidence.

It will get better, your horse looks to have a good attitude, build up slowly don't push too much but push the boundaries little by little as your relationship grows.
Click to expand...

This! you have left nothing in reserve ,position wise if something goes wrong . You cannot stay confident if deep down your subconscious is whispering to you to "get your bloody leg further forwards before you wipe us both out"
 
Thank you all.

I know I really need to work on my seat, I hope in time and with regular jumping again it will come back. We moved to a yard with school three weeks ago, but all year we have only hacked and then jumped at competitions. I'm not making excuses, but I do think the addition of a school and the ability to be able to regularly do it will make a really big difference.

The really stupid thing is it's probably only the past 3-4 times I've jumped that I've been comfortable cantering to a fence...how ridiculous is that? so I guess I need to remember where we have actually come from.

I hope in 6 months I'll be posting some really happy updates on this. :)
 
Just take things slowly. If you only feel like trotting to a fence is safe for now then do so. If you want the jump lower tell tthe instructor you are paying for the lesson go at your own speed. Don't be forced into doing something you are too scared to do it won't help you learn how to sit properly again as all you will be thinking about is the jump.

We have all had confidence issues. I was even worse than you I was scared to get on the horse. Got to the mounting block and froze couldn't manage to swing my leg over the horse as I thought it would bolt and I would fall and break my leg again. It's taken almost a year to get over this and I I pretty much have now but I do still get worried if my horse spooks. You definitely aren't alone I won't let my horse canter towards fences either actually he pulls in canter and as he is young I don't want him learning bad habits.
 
You need lots of lessons with a coach who knows how far to push you.

Is the horse an established jumping horse at the bigger heights? If not working on smaller jumps isn't a bad thing anyway. Let your confidence build up. You can't force it.
 
FfionWinnie said:
You need lots of lessons with a coach who knows how far to push you.

Is the horse an established jumping horse at the bigger heights? If not working on smaller jumps isn't a bad thing anyway. Let your confidence build up. You can't force it.
Click to expand...

This, it might be better to have a shared lesson so you can follow others.
Your basic position is poor and you need to sort this or you will keep falling off. More riding, more work on grids and pop tiny jumps in a row, you need to be riding on automatic rather than having to think about it, at the moment you still need to get your seat and hands independant, lots of lessons, confidently riding bareback, without stirrups and so one. The height of the jumps is irrelevant, let the horse do that bit, your job is to present him in such a way that he can clear the fence.
Even if you are not in a lesson, set up a square of fences in the middle of the areana, so you have a double in one direction and another in the other, four jumps in all. you can ask someone to call out your course, so you have to think about where you are going.
101 exercises for jumps is great, it is a progressive book, starting with flat work.
 
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I feel your pain OP. I've never been massively confident jumping but I would always have a go and had some cracking days out hunting just hanging on and hoping (not quite that bad but you get the jist, I'm not a jumping expert but I can do it). Then, I got my new horse, who will jump anything but goes into everything at 100mph, and after a bad fall which resulted from him going flat out and me being completely left behind, I am now terrified.

I mean, I will trot over a tiny cross pole or something, but the thought of going hunting and jumping even something tiny (and probably at speed) fills me with dread. I feel sick now just thinking about it, so I can completely relate. I'm hoping to follow some of the really good advice given on here and build up slowly and work with the horse to teach him more respect so he just slows down and goes nicely, and I'm sure it'll be much more enjoyable for the both of us. And then hopefully one day, I will be back to where I was.

Thanks all for the great advice, and OP, good luck, you look great!
 
It took me a good fews months to get my confidence back, no nasty fall just an idiot horse that got too excited at xc and jumped everything huge and one that would also like to stop at the last moment, we got into a sprial, it got worse, I stopped jumping for 5 months. One day I felt the need to pop a little cross pole, it was fun, I did it again a few days later and again and again. I stayed tiny (55cm) for months until I really really wanted to go a bit bigger. It might have taken me almost 18 months, quite a few lessons, support from friends but now we are at the steady heights of 75cm SJ course looking like we can jump pop round, single fences of 85cm no longer put the fear of god into me, we've managed to hurtle over a few 90/95cm xc fences, and confident at 75cm xc, we've been hunting (going again asap) and we tend to jump 95% of everything first time. Yes a lot of the problem was me, some was him being a nuggin loony and it might have taken ages but I just feel like a more capable partnership and while we're never going to make the olympics its fun again :D

I hope you can go steady and get back to feeling good and doing what makes you happy :D Try not to rush it even though have a specific goal, you need to want to do it not force yourself :)
 
I can completely relate. I've taken a few tumbles recently and it has made me doubt myself (not my pony, it's always been my fault!) I've decided to go back to basics - lots of small grids, bounces, combinations etc over the winter and practice practice practice until my position is good and it comes automatically. Watching some of the demos at YHL made me realise that my position leaves a lot to be desired and that's why I am (literally) coming unstuck! Hopefully lots of practice and some constructive lessons will have you back flying in no time :)
 
I found buying an airjacket has helped me. And going out and doing lots and lots. I've had a few falls over the years, mainly concussion and ambulance job in a collar and spinal board!

I am so happy I have an air jacket now though, it has made me more confident.
 
Thanks for all your replies. And all the success stories. :)

I hasten to add that the horse that caused all my various injuries is now retired in a field, the horse pictures is the 'replacement' and the only 'fall' I've had off him was when we both fell over XC. :) he's very lovely.

We have been without a jump saddle for a little while too, but I bought this one this week, so we can now finally start working on things. I'm not the best rider in the world and it is only a fun hobby for me, I have no huge aspirations I would just like to confidently go round a 90 ODE! :)

We have a winter to work on things though. How exciting :)
 
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