Getting depressed because I cant ride :-(

[Pluto]

Sorry for coming here with this but I thought only you guys would understand as non of my other close friends are horsey including my husband.

I have a 4 month old baby that I am still breastfeeding and I can't get to the stables. I only have my mum to help me occasionally and my horse is out at grass 24/7 at the moment fattening up after some box rest so I don't want to get him in just for a cuddle. He's on loan anyway and loaner who owns my yard thinks it's best to leave him out :-(

I am missing horses and riding and feel like all my horse time has been taken away from me and I am feeling sooooooooooo depressed :-(

I long for long hacks in the countryside and going on adventures with my horse :-(

Sorry for wallowing but I thought at least one person here might understand. I am typing this with a screaming baby by my side ... help :-(

 

[Tilda]

Can't u go and ride when your husband gets home? My son was three months old when I bought a new horse (sold the old one when pregnant as very high maintenance). I think you need to get some time away from the baby and feel like u again it will be better for you and baby.

Big hugs it will get easier when u get some more sleep xx

 

[Horses24-7]

I breastfed both my daughters and it's very hard work! Especially my 2nd as she sometimes would go 3/4 hours between feeds and other times she would go an hour! So it's difficult to get away to ride etc. I used to get down the yard and my husband would ring as she was crying again for a feed, so riding plans got scrapped and off home I would go to carry out my dairy cow duties which is what it makes you feel like sometimes

I used to get my husband to come with me to look after he at the yard so I could feed if needed. Also my advice would be to get your baby excepting expressed bottles asap so you can leave the odd bottle for some me time. I did this after 4 weeks with my first and it worked a treat, with my second I left it about 12 weeks to try and introduce a bottle and it was a nightmare! Although we got there in the end so it is doable.

Good luck and remember they don't stay little forever x

 

[Lacuna]

I gave up my share pony back in June, now 8 mths pregnant and really missing riding! I was looking into buying a pony last year and decided against it as we started trying for a sproglet.

Hope I can have both kiddo and horse at some point, but being realistic I think will have to look at lessons or a share again for the near future. Good to hear that some people can make it work with small kids & equines though.

 

[flaxen]

This is one of the reasons why my baby will be getting bottle fed from day 1 ( due at xmas)so that my fiance or our family can look after her so I can have me time on my own. I still ride my friends horse for a hack for my chill time when she isnt busy eventing.

Im lucky in that we have a farm so my horses are at home but I still need my me time and my youngster who will be 2 next summer and still entire still needs his learning time.

I may have to make a decision before winter on my old mare who is retired due to unresponsive bone spavin and collateral ligament damage as she is not sound and due to a pre existing skin condition in unable to have any turnout in the field during winter due to not being able to go in mud so can only go in a concrete pen and she wasnt happy last winter at the arrangement ( the yearling colt and companion go in the field, she can touch and talk to them) and fence walked and weaved and is already getting stressed and the 3 of them are still turned out together in the field.

I will be getting another horse in the spring so that I can still ride, not sure yet whether will buy one or look for one on loan to begin with.

Your hubby needs to get his arse in gear and give you a break, it also wouldnt do your horse any harm coming in for a groom and some pampering( which will be enjoyed by you and him) and then be turned out again. My yearling colt isnt broken and has living out in the summer with his mum ( the retired one) and my companion but he still comes in daily or every other day and gets his lessons and it hasnt done him any harm! Chin up.X

 

[MrsMozart]

Can you express and get husband to have babe for a couple of hours each day of the weekend?

I'm a strong believer that you need time to do your own thing, plus it gives some good bonding time for Dad and child.

 

[brown tack]

Go and get your boy in a cuddle and groom, you sound like you need to.
See if you can express and have a go at mixed feeding.
Is your boy back in work yet? If not see if you can ride a friends, it's not the same as your own but it will get you back in the saddle.
Or book a lesson at dovecotes or something like that.

 

[nosenseofdirection]

WELL DONE for getting this far! Your post really took me back, breastfeeding made me feel like I'd been run over by a bus all the time, so I do sympathise.

It won't last for ever, but it feels like it at the time because you never get any time off! It should start to get easier over the next few weeks/months as the baby starts to go longer between feeds and starts on solid food- once that happens it's three meals a day and you can suddenly start to use babysitters and have a life again!

 

[monikirk]

You need some time between feeds - with a good bra - you must sort out horse time! Well done for keeping up feeding you're doing really well.

I didn't get back to horses for a few years as couldn't do both well so put horses on backburner. Prob doesn't help you now though as days go by and nights are long - but the time and energy you put in with your family pays off long term, but you do need some time for yourself to keep some sanity!

Looking back I'm horrified at how the time sped by and glad of the special time I spent with my boys growing up. Now, when I'm not working or with my amazingly tolerant husband, all my free time is spent with my horse.